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02-09-23, 06:27 AM | #4051 |
Chief of the Boat
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Got stopped by a women in the street today. She said “Excuse me sir, have you had an accident in the last 3 years that wasn’t your fault? I said, “Yes, she’s nearly 3 now.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-09-23, 06:29 AM | #4052 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just had the following conversation at my local Italian restaurant.
Waitress: Sorry for keeping you waiting sir. Me: That’s ok. Did you know that this salt pot contains 22,358 individual grains of salt?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-09-23, 02:15 PM | #4053 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
|
The CEO of Ikea has been elected President in Sweden.
He expects to have his cabinet together in a couple of hours.
__________________
>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. |
02-09-23, 02:16 PM | #4054 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
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Last night a burglar broke into my house but I didn't shoot him.
I just put the red laser dot on his forehead and my cat did the rest.
__________________
>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. |
02-10-23, 06:09 AM | #4055 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Spoke to my family today after my WiFi went down. They seem like nice people.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-10-23, 06:11 AM | #4056 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Disabled toilets.
Ironically, the only toilets that are big enough to run around in.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-11-23, 04:14 AM | #4057 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Why is Christmas just like your job?
Because after you do all the work the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-11-23, 04:16 AM | #4058 |
Chief of the Boat
|
What has four legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a playground
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-12-23, 06:58 AM | #4059 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Just started reading a book about anti-gravity. Its impossible to put down.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-12-23, 06:59 AM | #4060 |
Chief of the Boat
|
After 3 years of marriage, me and the wife had our first real fight last night.
I called my dad for advice on how to fix things. He told me to apologize and admit I was wrong. I was really looking for advice on how to dispose of the body.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-13-23, 04:22 AM | #4061 |
Chief of the Boat
|
The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.
Wife: Would you still love me if I became fat and lost my looks. Husband: What do you mean “if”?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-13-23, 04:24 AM | #4062 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Went to see my psychiatrist today. I keep having dreams where I’m a famous author working on the the Lords of The Rings Trilogy. He said it sounds like I’ve been Tolkien in my sleep.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-13-23, 05:29 PM | #4063 |
Fleet Admiral
|
My wife tried to beat me playing Scrabble
I wooden letter
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
02-16-23, 10:23 AM | #4064 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I used to have a fear of climbing walls but I’ve finally managed to get over it.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-16-23, 10:24 AM | #4065 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Q. What does an Ikea cabinet and a marriage have in common?
A. One screw out of place and the whole thing falls apart.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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