The joke thread II - Page 121

Jimbuna · 05-13-20, 05:46 AM

If Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were drowning in a swimming pool, what type of sandwich would you make?

Jimbuna · 05-13-20, 07:14 AM

Col7777 · 05-13-20, 07:41 AM

A woman rings her Mother-in-Law and says "Can you please tell me who's job it is to change a child if it poos itself?"
She replies, "Sorry dear but it's always the mums job",
"Fine," she said, "Can you come over, your son got drunk and s**t himself."

Platapus · 05-13-20, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

If Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were drowning in a swimming pool, what type of sandwich would you make?

On this forum?

A submarine sandwich of course.

Jeff-Groves · 05-13-20, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

On this forum?

A submarine sandwich of course.

Actually? I'd forgo the sandwich and just video the event.
Probably get 7 million hits on YouTube.

Col7777 · 05-14-20, 01:04 AM

I just got fired from my job as a set designer.

I left without making a scene.

Jimbuna · 05-14-20, 06:09 AM

My wifes dancing is terrible, she has two left feet. I should never have married a woman from Chernobyl.

Jimbuna · 05-14-20, 06:10 AM

An attractive lady and an old man are sitting next to each other on a bus, the following conversation takes place.

Lady: Can you help me get something off my breasts please?
Old man: Yeah sure it would be my pleasure, what is it?
Lady: Your eyes

Col7777 · 05-14-20, 07:39 AM

I walked by a homeless guy, he had a sign that said "One day this could be you."
So I put my money back in my pocket in case he was right.

Jimbuna · 05-14-20, 01:36 PM

Col7777 · 05-14-20, 03:51 PM

The wife and I have decided not to have children... The kids are taking it particularly badly.

Platapus · 05-14-20, 06:31 PM

Getting some good clever ones now. Well done.

Catfish · 05-15-20, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platapus

Getting some good clever ones now. Well done.

Best joke of the year

Col7777 · 05-15-20, 02:08 AM

My wife Ivy has been in isolation for over a week now... She's climbing the walls.

Jimbuna · 05-15-20, 06:13 AM

My wife told me I was one in a million. After looking though her text messages I found out she was right.

05-13-20, 05:46 AM	#1801
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were drowning in a swimming pool, what type of sandwich would you make? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-13-20, 07:14 AM	#1802
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-13-20, 07:41 AM	#1803
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	A woman rings her Mother-in-Law and says "Can you please tell me who's job it is to change a child if it poos itself?" She replies, "Sorry dear but it's always the mums job", "Fine," she said, "Can you come over, your son got drunk and s**t himself." __________________ Silent and Violent

05-14-20, 01:04 AM	#1806
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	I just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene. __________________ Silent and Violent

05-14-20, 06:09 AM	#1807
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wifes dancing is terrible, she has two left feet. I should never have married a woman from Chernobyl. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-14-20, 06:10 AM	#1808
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	An attractive lady and an old man are sitting next to each other on a bus, the following conversation takes place. Lady: Can you help me get something off my breasts please? Old man: Yeah sure it would be my pleasure, what is it? Lady: Your eyes __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-14-20, 07:39 AM	#1809
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	I walked by a homeless guy, he had a sign that said "One day this could be you." So I put my money back in my pocket in case he was right. __________________ Silent and Violent

05-14-20, 01:36 PM	#1810
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-14-20, 03:51 PM	#1811
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	The wife and I have decided not to have children... The kids are taking it particularly badly. __________________ Silent and Violent

05-14-20, 06:31 PM	#1812
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Getting some good clever ones now. Well done. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

05-15-20, 02:08 AM	#1814
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	My wife Ivy has been in isolation for over a week now... She's climbing the walls. __________________ Silent and Violent

05-15-20, 06:13 AM	#1815
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wife told me I was one in a million. After looking though her text messages I found out she was right. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)