The joke thread II - Page 107

Jimbuna · 03-02-20, 08:53 AM

Last year was one of the most memorable times of my life. I remember shouting “I don’t believe it, it’s a boy, it’s a boy!!”

That’s when I decided to never visit Thailand ever again.

Jimbuna · 03-03-20, 08:46 AM

Got an email from a bored housewife the other day looking for ‘some action’ so I decided to send her some of my ironing to keep her busy.

Jimbuna · 03-03-20, 08:47 AM

Have you heard about that new TV program about origami?
It’s paper view.

Jimbuna · 03-04-20, 08:37 AM

My new business on Ebay is a great success. Just sold my homing pigeons for the 17th time in a row!

Jimbuna · 03-04-20, 08:40 AM

Saw 2 fat people talking earlier today. It was a HEAVY discussion!

Jimbuna · 03-05-20, 07:10 AM

Apparently when your wife says “do whatever you want” that’s not what she means. Luckily the stripper I ordered agreed to a refund.

Jimbuna · 03-05-20, 07:12 AM

If God made everything then does that mean he’s Chinese?

Jimbuna · 03-06-20, 07:17 AM

Heard on the news this morning that Donald Trump’s library caught fire last night. Apparently over 2,000 coloring books were destroyed.

Jimbuna · 03-06-20, 07:22 AM

Paddy won the lottery, 22 million, He went to collect his winnings and they said, "Really sorry Paddy but we haven’t got enough money to pay you it all. We will give you 11 million this week and 11 million next week" "Ah be Jesus says paddy. If your gonna mess me about gimme me pound back."

Platapus · 03-06-20, 05:30 PM

My grandfather was responsible for the downing of 100 German Aircraft during WWII

He was probably the worse mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

Jimbuna · 03-07-20, 08:09 AM

My dad died recently. He lost a lot of blood and nobody knew his blood-type. I’ll never forget his inspirational last words, “Be positive”.

Jimbuna · 03-07-20, 08:10 AM

Whatever you do always give 100%, unless your donating blood.

Platapus · 03-07-20, 04:20 PM

I don't donate blood any more. The last time I donated blood, they asked some awkward questions

"Whose blood is this?"
"How did you get this much blood?"

Jeff-Groves · 03-07-20, 06:26 PM

The FBI and CIA came around knocking on my door!
Seems someone told them I have been talking to Aliens!
Imagine their surprise when I told them they were Canadians!

Platapus · 03-08-20, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff-Groves

The FBI and CIA came around knocking on my door!
Seems someone told them I have been talking to Aliens!
Imagine their surprise when I told them they were Canadians!

You told the FBI and CIA that they were Canadians???

03-02-20, 08:53 AM	#1591
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Last year was one of the most memorable times of my life. I remember shouting “I don’t believe it, it’s a boy, it’s a boy!!” That’s when I decided to never visit Thailand ever again. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-03-20, 08:46 AM	#1592
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Got an email from a bored housewife the other day looking for ‘some action’ so I decided to send her some of my ironing to keep her busy. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-03-20, 08:47 AM	#1593
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Have you heard about that new TV program about origami? It’s paper view. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-04-20, 08:37 AM	#1594
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My new business on Ebay is a great success. Just sold my homing pigeons for the 17th time in a row! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-04-20, 08:40 AM	#1595
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Saw 2 fat people talking earlier today. It was a HEAVY discussion! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-05-20, 07:10 AM	#1596
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Apparently when your wife says “do whatever you want” that’s not what she means. Luckily the stripper I ordered agreed to a refund. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-05-20, 07:12 AM	#1597
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If God made everything then does that mean he’s Chinese? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-06-20, 07:17 AM	#1598
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Heard on the news this morning that Donald Trump’s library caught fire last night. Apparently over 2,000 coloring books were destroyed. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-06-20, 07:22 AM	#1599
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Paddy won the lottery, 22 million, He went to collect his winnings and they said, "Really sorry Paddy but we haven’t got enough money to pay you it all. We will give you 11 million this week and 11 million next week" "Ah be Jesus says paddy. If your gonna mess me about gimme me pound back." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-06-20, 05:30 PM	#1600
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,983 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My grandfather was responsible for the downing of 100 German Aircraft during WWII He was probably the worse mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-07-20, 08:09 AM	#1601
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My dad died recently. He lost a lot of blood and nobody knew his blood-type. I’ll never forget his inspirational last words, “Be positive”. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-07-20, 08:10 AM	#1602
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Whatever you do always give 100%, unless your donating blood. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-07-20, 04:20 PM	#1603
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,983 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I don't donate blood any more. The last time I donated blood, they asked some awkward questions "Whose blood is this?" "How did you get this much blood?" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-07-20, 06:26 PM	#1604
Jeff-Groves Village Idiot Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 5,344 Downloads: 131 Uploads: 0	The FBI and CIA came around knocking on my door! Seems someone told them I have been talking to Aliens! Imagine their surprise when I told them they were Canadians! __________________ I don't do Stupid. So don't ask.