The joke thread II - Page 319

Platapus · 11-11-23, 09:26 PM

I cooked, for my wife, a nice rare steak.

She said "I like it well done"

I said "Why thank you, I appreciate that"

Jimbuna · 11-12-23, 04:54 AM

What kind of bird works on a construction site? A crane.

Platapus · 11-12-23, 11:54 AM

What part of a computer is the most busy?

The keyboard. So busy it has two shifts

Jimbuna · 11-12-23, 12:34 PM

What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I’m coming down with something.

Jimbuna · 11-13-23, 01:12 PM

What type of music do the planets enjoy? Neptunes.

Platapus · 11-13-23, 04:39 PM

Did you hear about the kidnapping at our local school?

It's OK. He woke up

Jimbuna · 11-14-23, 05:48 AM

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own set of scales.

Platapus · 11-14-23, 04:44 PM

If you see someone shoplifting at an Apple Store, does that make you an... iWitness?

Jimbuna · 11-15-23, 04:02 AM

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.

Platapus · 11-15-23, 05:21 AM

Youth is when you are allowed to stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve

Middle age is when you are forced to

Jimbuna · 11-15-23, 07:48 AM

What do you give a scientist with bad breath? Experi-mints.

Platapus · 11-15-23, 07:51 AM

What looks like half of a cat?

The other half of the cat

Jimbuna · 11-15-23, 09:00 AM

What did Benjamin Franklin say when he discovered electricity? Nothing. He was too shocked.

Platapus · 11-15-23, 01:08 PM

What is a cat's favorite fictional novel?

The Great Catsby

Jimbuna · 11-15-23, 01:31 PM

What do you call a medieval lamp? A knight light.

11-11-23, 09:26 PM	#4771
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I cooked, for my wife, a nice rare steak. She said "I like it well done" I said "Why thank you, I appreciate that" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-12-23, 04:54 AM	#4772
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,197 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What kind of bird works on a construction site? A crane. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-12-23, 11:54 AM	#4773
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What part of a computer is the most busy? The keyboard. So busy it has two shifts __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-12-23, 12:34 PM	#4774
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,197 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I’m coming down with something. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-13-23, 01:12 PM	#4775
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,197 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What type of music do the planets enjoy? Neptunes. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-13-23, 04:39 PM	#4776
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Did you hear about the kidnapping at our local school? It's OK. He woke up __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-14-23, 05:48 AM	#4777
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,197 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own set of scales. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-14-23, 04:44 PM	#4778
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	If you see someone shoplifting at an Apple Store, does that make you an... iWitness? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-15-23, 04:02 AM	#4779
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,197 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-15-23, 05:21 AM	#4780
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Youth is when you are allowed to stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve Middle age is when you are forced to __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-15-23, 07:48 AM	#4781
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,197 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you give a scientist with bad breath? Experi-mints. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-15-23, 07:51 AM	#4782
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What looks like half of a cat? The other half of the cat __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-15-23, 09:00 AM	#4783
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,197 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did Benjamin Franklin say when he discovered electricity? Nothing. He was too shocked. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-15-23, 01:08 PM	#4784
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What is a cat's favorite fictional novel? The Great Catsby __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-15-23, 01:31 PM	#4785
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,197 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a medieval lamp? A knight light. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)