The joke thread II - Page 244

Jimbuna · 07-12-22, 12:05 PM

What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

That hit the spot!

Jimbuna · 07-13-22, 11:59 AM

3What do you call two bananas on the floor?

Slippers.

Jimbuna · 07-14-22, 12:00 PM

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

Jimbuna · 07-17-22, 01:31 PM

Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

Jimbuna · 07-18-22, 06:58 AM

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

Jimbuna · 07-19-22, 02:04 PM

What's the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly.

Jeff-Groves · 07-20-22, 08:23 AM

Monday afternoon I went to the liquor store on my bicycle, bought a bottle of scotch and put it in my bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself if I fell off the bicycle the bottle might break. So, I drank the bottle before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision because I fell off my bicycle seven time before I made it home.

Platapus · 07-20-22, 04:24 PM

Is a swimming pool dangerous?

Deep ends

Jimbuna · 07-21-22, 12:21 PM

I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

Jeff-Groves · 07-21-22, 08:08 PM

Last night I watched a documentary on mushrooms...

I will watch every documentary that way from now on!

Jeff-Groves · 07-22-22, 11:10 AM

Friendship between women:
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next day, she told her husband that she had slept over at her friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.

Friendship between men:
A man didn't come home one night.
The next day, he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

Jimbuna · 07-23-22, 05:59 AM

Got a PS5 for my little brother. Best trade I've ever done!

Platapus · 07-23-22, 12:05 PM

I started exercising using stuff I already had at home

I started with lifting 1 pound bags of potatoes

Then I moved to lifting and holding 5 pound bags of potatoes

Now I am up to holding two 10 pound bags of potatoes.

One of these days I might put some potatoes in the bags.

Jimbuna · 07-24-22, 01:56 PM

I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust!

Jimbuna · 07-24-22, 01:57 PM

A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it.

07-12-22, 12:05 PM	#3646
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-13-22, 11:59 AM	#3647
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	3What do you call two bananas on the floor? Slippers. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-14-22, 12:00 PM	#3648
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-17-22, 01:31 PM	#3649
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-18-22, 06:58 AM	#3650
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-19-22, 02:04 PM	#3651
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What's the opposite of irony? Wrinkly. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-20-22, 08:23 AM	#3652
Jeff-Groves Village Idiot Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 5,319 Downloads: 130 Uploads: 0	Monday afternoon I went to the liquor store on my bicycle, bought a bottle of scotch and put it in my bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself if I fell off the bicycle the bottle might break. So, I drank the bottle before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision because I fell off my bicycle seven time before I made it home. __________________ I don't do Stupid. So don't ask.

07-20-22, 04:24 PM	#3653
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Is a swimming pool dangerous? Deep ends __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-21-22, 12:21 PM	#3654
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-21-22, 08:08 PM	#3655
Jeff-Groves Village Idiot Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 5,319 Downloads: 130 Uploads: 0	Last night I watched a documentary on mushrooms... I will watch every documentary that way from now on! __________________ I don't do Stupid. So don't ask.

07-22-22, 11:10 AM	#3656
Jeff-Groves Village Idiot Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 5,319 Downloads: 130 Uploads: 0	Friendship between women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day, she told her husband that she had slept over at her friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it. Friendship between men: A man didn't come home one night. The next day, he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there. __________________ I don't do Stupid. So don't ask.

07-23-22, 05:59 AM	#3657
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Got a PS5 for my little brother. Best trade I've ever done! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-23-22, 12:05 PM	#3658
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I started exercising using stuff I already had at home I started with lifting 1 pound bags of potatoes Then I moved to lifting and holding 5 pound bags of potatoes Now I am up to holding two 10 pound bags of potatoes. One of these days I might put some potatoes in the bags. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-24-22, 01:56 PM	#3659
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-24-22, 01:57 PM	#3660
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)