The joke thread II - Page 105

Jimbuna · 02-20-20, 02:25 PM

My son brought his first girlfriend home tonight. The verdict? Flat chested, fat legs, and a flabby backside.
Oh, and she doesn’t react well to criticism.

Jimbuna · 02-20-20, 02:27 PM

My parents gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday yesterday. I couldn’t find the words to thank them.

Platapus · 02-20-20, 05:23 PM

Why was the man fired from Ikea?

He tried to take Stockholm.

Jimbuna · 02-21-20, 01:12 PM

Can’t seem to find my ‘Gone in 60 Seconds’ DVD.

It was here a minute ago.

Jimbuna · 02-21-20, 01:18 PM

Just read in the newspaper that lots of Americans have been sending their old clothes to the poor in Africa.

Wast of time in my opinion. I’ve never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

Eichhörnchen · 02-21-20, 02:48 PM

Platapus · 02-21-20, 05:24 PM

Saw this in the personal's column

Man with Corona virus desires to meet lady with Lyme disease.

Jimbuna · 02-22-20, 07:19 AM

Just woken up with rice on my face.
I must have fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pilau.

Jimbuna · 02-22-20, 07:21 AM

Marks and Spencer have recently announced they are going to merge with Poundstrecher.

The new supermarket will be called StrechMarks.

Jeff-Groves · 02-22-20, 05:40 PM

Bought some Body Armour a couple weeks back just for the heck of it.
I found out you get discounts when you wear it!
I expect a few more visits to Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Cremes will return my investment!

Jimbuna · 02-23-20, 07:32 AM

Customer: What’s the WiFi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Customer: Ok, I’ll have a coke.
Barman: $10 please.
Customer: There you go. So what’s the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase!

Jimbuna · 02-23-20, 07:34 AM

Found out today that some of the most famous French food doesn’t even come from France. Apparently French fries are actually cooked in Greece?

Jimbuna · 02-24-20, 06:43 AM

Scientific survey found out recently that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Jimbuna · 02-24-20, 06:43 AM

Trump has announced that recent airstrikes were a great success. After reducing large parts of Syria to rubble people living in Detroit now feel slightly less jealous of Syrians.

Jimbuna · 02-25-20, 09:23 AM

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

02-20-20, 02:25 PM	#1561
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My son brought his first girlfriend home tonight. The verdict? Flat chested, fat legs, and a flabby backside. Oh, and she doesn’t react well to criticism. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-20-20, 02:27 PM	#1562
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My parents gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday yesterday. I couldn’t find the words to thank them. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-20-20, 05:23 PM	#1563
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why was the man fired from Ikea? He tried to take Stockholm. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-21-20, 01:12 PM	#1564
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Can’t seem to find my ‘Gone in 60 Seconds’ DVD. It was here a minute ago. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-21-20, 01:18 PM	#1565
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just read in the newspaper that lots of Americans have been sending their old clothes to the poor in Africa. Wast of time in my opinion. I’ve never seen an African with a 52 inch waist. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-21-20, 02:48 PM	#1566
Eichhörnchen Starte das Auto Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: The Fens Posts: 15,745 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	__________________

02-21-20, 05:24 PM	#1567
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Saw this in the personal's column Man with Corona virus desires to meet lady with Lyme disease. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-22-20, 07:19 AM	#1568
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just woken up with rice on my face. I must have fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pilau. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-22-20, 07:21 AM	#1569
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Marks and Spencer have recently announced they are going to merge with Poundstrecher. The new supermarket will be called StrechMarks. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-22-20, 05:40 PM	#1570
Jeff-Groves Village Idiot Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 5,319 Downloads: 130 Uploads: 0	Bought some Body Armour a couple weeks back just for the heck of it. I found out you get discounts when you wear it! I expect a few more visits to Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Cremes will return my investment! __________________ I don't do Stupid. So don't ask.

02-23-20, 07:32 AM	#1571
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Customer: What’s the WiFi password? Barman: You need to buy a drink first. Customer: Ok, I’ll have a coke. Barman: $10 please. Customer: There you go. So what’s the wifi password? Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-23-20, 07:34 AM	#1572
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Found out today that some of the most famous French food doesn’t even come from France. Apparently French fries are actually cooked in Greece? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-24-20, 06:43 AM	#1573
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Scientific survey found out recently that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-24-20, 06:43 AM	#1574
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Trump has announced that recent airstrikes were a great success. After reducing large parts of Syria to rubble people living in Detroit now feel slightly less jealous of Syrians. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-25-20, 09:23 AM	#1575
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)