SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
01-20-20, 07:23 AM | #1471 |
Chief of the Boat
|
My dwarf friend committed suicide recently… He jumped off a curb.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-20-20, 10:31 PM | #1472 |
Ocean Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,423
Downloads: 58
Uploads: 0
|
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was having trouble in the Chinese restaurant?
Use the fork, Luke.
__________________
|
01-21-20, 07:13 AM | #1473 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Recently found out I’m allergic to cats. That’s the last time I eat at a Chinese restaurant.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-21-20, 07:15 AM | #1474 |
Chief of the Boat
|
My granddad used to be in the army until he ate all the rations.
He was shot for desserting.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-21-20, 02:40 PM | #1475 |
Starte das Auto
|
When a clown farts, does it smell funny?
__________________
|
01-21-20, 04:53 PM | #1476 |
Ocean Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,423
Downloads: 58
Uploads: 0
|
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
__________________
|
01-22-20, 08:28 AM | #1477 |
Chief of the Boat
|
For those worried about Alexa listening to your conversations Amazon are now releasing a male version called Alex who ignores everything you say.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-22-20, 08:30 AM | #1478 |
Chief of the Boat
|
“Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss.
“Just pop it in the corner,” he said. After 3 hours of popping I’ve now been fired!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-22-20, 04:33 PM | #1479 |
Fleet Admiral
|
Some one stole the wheels off of a police car
The police are working tirelessly to find the culprit.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
01-23-20, 01:47 AM | #1480 |
CINC Pacific Fleet
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Down Under
Posts: 33,524
Downloads: 171
Uploads: 0
|
Not really a joke but an old electricians saying:
Put the saddle on the stove Ma, we're riding the range tonight! This was in reference to a saddle on the electrical cable hose. Edit: I hope I haven't put this up before!!
__________________
Sub captains go down with their ship! Last edited by Reece; 01-23-20 at 01:58 AM. |
01-23-20, 02:52 AM | #1481 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
|
^
No problem here, i forget a lot
__________________
>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. |
01-23-20, 08:01 AM | #1482 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Last year my wife was furious that I missed her birthday, and insisted that in future I should plan at least two months in advance. Well it’s her birthday in 8 weeks time, and I’m pleased to say I’ve already bought her her present. She’s going to love these flowers.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-23-20, 08:03 AM | #1483 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Went on a date last night which was a total disaster. The girl told he over the phone she was expecting a baby, so I went to the pub wearing nothing but a nappy, felt like a right idiot!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-24-20, 04:36 AM | #1484 |
Ocean Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,423
Downloads: 58
Uploads: 0
|
Why did Mickey Mouse go into space ?
To find Pluto.
__________________
|
01-24-20, 06:49 AM | #1485 |
CINC Pacific Fleet
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Down Under
Posts: 33,524
Downloads: 171
Uploads: 0
|
Oh that is just so bad!!
__________________
Sub captains go down with their ship! |
|
|