Like one big, happy family: A Subsim CK2 Dynasty AAR

[Crécy]

Alrighty then, my reignings are reigned. I'll try to start the AAR this week (meaning weekend when I've time and energy for it, even though I have to work on sunday )

[Dowly]

(Expect it around mid-January )

[Crécy]

Chronicles of Northumbria
Reign of a Northumbrian Duke Sigeweard I 'The Builder' of Deheubarth, son of Eanfirth II
(1166-????)
by Grégorie d'Anjou

My name is Grégorie d'Anjou. I am a poet, chronicler, annalist, author, romanticist, et cetera, et cetera. Many years ago I was approached by a Northumbrian head of family -whom name I've forgotten but most likely it was Eanfirth as Eanfirths seems to be all over the place- and was given the honour of writing the chronicles of Northumbria. Even though, at that time, I spoke and wrote only french. However, over the course of many years and misunderstandings I've learned english more and more. Still, I'm far from perfection so please forgive my numerous grammar errors.

After I accepted the honor to write these Northumbrian Chronicles and after I had moved to the court of the said head of family, the said head of family passed away. While unfortunate, I was excited to start the chronicles when the new heir came to power. To my dismay, it soon came clear to me that the new heir was, in fact, arrogant enough to write his own chronicles. Thus years passed before me while I waited for him to di... err... continue his journey to happier reigning lands. Meanwhile I wrote poems, wandered aimlessly in the court of Northumbrians courting ladies, waiting and waiting. After many years he finally passed away and I sat down, ready to begin...

And again, I didn't even manage to write the headline as the new ruler was revealed to be as impudent as his father. Writing his own chronicles, bah! As such the cycle continued. I never even dipped the quill. I believe four or five generations passed by my. And Eanfirths came and went, all of them more insolent and shameless than the other... And every generation felt like six.Once I even disguised myself and came to court as supposedly new chronicler to ask the current ruler, Eanfirth II, whether I could write his family chronicles. He granted the permission to do so and gave me the coin. That evening, when I was starting to write, he came to my chamber. He grabbed the money, he had given me, from the table and said: "I lied." and then he left. I didn't have any other choice but to continue my purposeless courting, wandering and writing.

Then the impossible happened, in the year of our lord 1166, over a hundred years after (yes, someone would call me old) I was first asked to write the Northumbrian chronicles, a Northumbrian duke came to me and gave me the honour to finally start the marvel which will dazzle the future generations. The sheer magnitude of the impact these chronicles will have on the course of history will be unimaginable! This, this work will be the defining milestone of my long life, of the history of writing and the future. In all of my life, I've never been so excited as I'm now. Well, aside from those four to five times I was about to start this chronicle.


Thus it begins...

* * *

Duke Sigeweard I of Deheubarth was already 33 years old when his father, Duke Eanfirth II (too many nicknames to pick just one, besides there are still arguments whether he was sane or not) passed away in April 27, 1166. Eanfirth II had voted Sigeweard as his successors when Sigeweard came to age as apparently Sigeweard was the only one of Eanfirth's children who even came close to being a competent heir. At this point I might add that for some reason - I never found out why - Sigeweard is Italian while his father is a Saxon. Well, it's a mystery. And all knows that a good family chronicle includes many uncovered, outré, mysteries. Also, I don't know why but I feel compelled to inform you that Duke Sigeweard's sig is quite weird. Ba dam tsh.

Now let me tell you something about Duke Sigeweard I. Like his predecessors, Sigeweard is as wrathful as them. Well not just as wrathful as them. He did gave me the honor of starting these chronicles and didn't project his wrath on me by denying me the hundred-year-old right to write Northumbrian Chronicles right like his ancestors did... Duke Sigeweard is fortunate to possess every trait that defines a great ruler -wouldn't be surprised if he had blood of Gaius Julius Caesar himself in him. Somehow. He's Italian at least - . I'm certain that he will accomplish something spectacular during his reign. He's also happily married to duchess Ælfthryth of Leicester nonetheless and they have four children, a boy and three girls. Sigeweard's heir, Andre, is, well Italian but also a fine young man who will eventually without fail rule with honor after his father. And I'm sure Andre will not write his own chronicles.



The same day already beloved Sigeweard became the duke, child king of England appointed Sigeweard as his chancellor. As his father before him as a marshal, Sigeweard was now an essential part of Kingdom of England's court and thus a cornerstone of determining the plans and fate of England.



In May 24, 1166 a war broke out between the king of England and the Lancasters. Duchess Youenna I of Lancaster even went as far as asking Sigeweard, the chancellor of the king of England, to ally with the Lancasters against the King Sigeric I. Ridiculous. Naturally, Sigeweard refused.



The war raged on for almost five months but finally in September 1166, it ended in white peace. After the war King Sigeric I's turned his eyes on Ireland and the king sent Sigeweard to Dublin to make the groundwork for invasion by legalizing it.

In the year of our lord 1167 king's royal messengers rode to Sigeweard's court in castle Cardiff and handed out a parchment sealed with King's sigil. Sigeweard opened it in suspicion. King Sigeric I of England had appointed Duke Sigeweard of Deheubarth and chancellor of the kingdom of England to a regent until King Sigeric would come to age. An ultimate honor from the most powerful king on earth. On this day the Northumbrians truly became the most powerful dynasty in England (excluding King's own dynasty of course).



Only after a year of reign, Duke Sigeweard had become the most important man in England after the king himself. This truly is a prelude to something incredible. The hundred years of waiting finally had paid off. I had encountered one of the mightiest man alive. And I, Grégoire d'Anjou, a poet, chronicler, annalist, author, romanticist, et cetera, et cetera, get to write his family chronicle.

[Crécy]

Eat that Dowly! Not in mid-January but in mid-December! Hah!

Rest of the updates will be posted during the weekend.

[Crécy]

Chronicles of Northumbria
Reign of a Northumbrian Duke Sigeweard I 'The Builder' of Deheubarth, son of Eanfirth II
(1166-????)
by Grégorie d'Anjou

Shortly after Duke Sigeweard I, the regent and chancellor of kingdom of England, was given the honor to guide the realm of England he accomplished so many great things that I'm only able to list a handful of them. For example in late Jume 1167, Duke/Chancellor/Regent Sigeweard I drove off a great dragon roaming around York countryside which was harassing and killing the locals. And in early August child King Sigeric I granted Sigeweard new lands from the recently conquered Ireland, which conquest Sigeweard made possible. By the end of the year Duke Sigewerd had achieved more than... Bah, who am I kidding.

I can't believe I waited hundred years for this!? This!? The man is so damn unproductive, so fruitful, that any chronicler would fall asleep while writing the first sentence. Actually you could even summarize the whole year of this man's life in one sentence and you couldn't even write THAT because you fall asleep halfway through it! To be honest I haven't written anything in few years. I probably fell asleep trying to... I have, once again, wandered in the halls of the King (as Sigeweard spends most of his time there now), courting ladies, writing poems. Endless, pointless roaming took over my life once more. However, after couple of years I realized that by not writing this chronicle I would sink right in to the company of the men I despise so much: the 'write my family chronicles. NOT!' liars. So I have now forced myself to write down about Sigeweard I. Bear with me. I try that as well.

So, (umm, where we left off... Oh yes, the regent thing.) a few weeks after child King Sigeric I had sent his regent to fabricate claims in Dublin it came to fruition (fruition from a fruitless man, whad'ya know...). The invasion was about to begin.



After returning from Dublin Sigeweard somehow also managed to impregnate his wife. That reminds me: it has always puzzled me why Sigeweard's childrens are in Leicester with their mother and not with Sigeweard? Well, now to think of it I might have an educated guess but still, the arrangement is quite peculiar.



17 July 1167, child King Sigeric I declared war on Dublin and the mustering of forces began. While all the others were in Dublin, warring, Sigeweard sipped wine in King's court. That's it. That's all the man I have to write about did in time of glory and fame. Sipped wine.

In November Sigeweard's chancellor, Hereweald of Denbigh who was actually sent there by (surprise, surprise) Eanfirth II, came forth and presented his early Christmas present to Sigeweard (hmm, a tad long name. Would probably suffice if I called him only weard...): right to take county of Ulster. Finally I thought that I could actually write something spectacular in Weard's chronicles. At that time the war against Dublin raged on. Over thirteen thousand English soldiers were sieging Dublin. What could be better than the King holding the south and the second most powerful man in England holding the North?



But of course not. Sigeweard threw the paper in hearth as he "didn't want to accomplish anything through deceit like his father did". I've started to actually regret that the damn Eanfirth II wrote his own chronicles... What a grand chronicle that would have been had I wrote it. Eanfirth II was a soldier. He expanded the territories, raised an sizeable army and made path to the eventual Kingdom of Wales which would be hold by Northumbrians. What did Sigeweard do with this legacy? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

On Christmas Eve the war against Dublin ended and child King Sigeric I got a hold of most of southern Ireland, making the kingdom of England one of the largest and most powerful kingdoms. On Christmas Eve King Sigeric I also sent Sigeweard to fabricate more claims in Ireland. If I could only write King Sigeric's chronicles instead... He's not even an adult yet and he has conquered most of Ireland.

In Januray, 1168 two quite big events happened. One not maybe that great and one which I consider great but too late. First: a child was born to Sigeweard and Ælfthryth. And get this, he was named 'Candido'. Why on earth these Italian names and Italian culture infests the pure saxon blood!? I have a feeling that Eanfirth II is to blame. I don't know what he did but it's his fault. Candido and Andre. Hah!



The second thing: Sigeweard finally came to sense and converted to Saxon culture. How unfortunate that he can't convert his boys anymore because they are with their mother in Leicester...



1168 was also the year the Sigeweard started his maniacal building. In September small pox broke out in Sigeweard's duchy. Luckily (or was it in the end?) Weard was in King's court regenting.



29 July, 1169 Sigeweard's heir Andre 'the pizza delivery guy' came to age. And like his father before him and his father before him and so on, Andre is as wrathful as them. It came clear quite fast as well when I met him the first time that he is also quite cruel character. And charitable apparently as well. Like when I met him he forced a maid to give him all of her money. After she had done that, Andre hit her. And after that Andre gave the money back to her and gave some more money too. Peculiar fella. He also became the court chaplain of his mother's county Leicester.



One of the most funniest events in 1169 was the time Sigeweard's mother, also spymaster, came to him and thanked him of his virtuous rule. Really? Well, I suppose it's considered virtuous when you don't do anything.



The rest of the year Sigeweard spent sipping wine in a chair and ordering his loyal subjects to build all kinds of buildings. I suppose building buildings is some kind of a fetish. Also King Sigeric I declared war on another Irish lord, using Sigeweard's legalization of conquest papers.



Once again Ireland was full of soldiers clashing onto each other. And once again Sigeweard sat on his arse in King's court sipping... Wait for it... Wine.

In may 1170 war was won and most of Ireland had fell on the hands of child King Sigeric I.



Ugh... How long I have to still endure this awful farce...

[Crécy]

Chronicles of Northumbria
Reign of a Northumbrian Duke Sigeweard I 'The Builder' of Deheubarth, son of Eanfirth II
(1166-????)
by Grégorie d'Anjou

Sigeweard's rule continued at a leisurely pace. In 1171, King Sigeric I joined the crusade for Jerusalem. I didn't even bother to be excited as I knew Sigeweard would stay in England. And he did. Yes, shocking. Wouldn't have wanted to write about glorious battles against infidels anyway.

In November, 1171 Sigeweard started to suffer from stress. Which is quite an accomplishment from the most laid back man on earth.



In November Sigeweard's daughter reached adulthood. Guess what. She's wrathful. And cruel on top of that. What's up with these Northumbrians...



Also the populace in duchy of Deheubarth started to embrace more and more Saxon culture. Welsh populace by origin, Saxon king and Italian/Saxon Duke. What on earth has happened here in the past?



New year came and went and the uneventful life continued. Well, Sigeweard's nephew complained all the time about everything: "Boo hoo, I'm not married. Boo hoo, I want a county to rule." One thing Eanfirth II did right was to revoke the titles of all vassals and claim everything for himself. Even Weard agrees. Rest of 1173 was as eventful as all the years before. Crusade for Jerusalem failed, Sigeweard's mother passed away and more claims were fabricated for King Sigeric I by Weard.

Then came 1173 and something interesting happened. Sigeweard found out that he had a weak claim on a county in Italy - which was part of the Papal States -. His messy Italian origins pays off. Except it didn't. Sigeweard just shrugged and said: "Ok."

I HATE THAT GUY!





A bad case of typhoid fever broke out in England in early 1174. Unfortunately Sigeweard's daughter Paola (indeed, more Italians) contracted it.

In March, 1174, King Sigeric I declared war on county of Tyrconnell. Once again the legal ground work was made by Sigeweard. War didn't last on and so King Sigeric I of England had conquered most of Ireland.



In February, 1174, Sigeweard had started to raise Candido 'the pizza delivery guy' by himself. For some reason Candido wasn't with his mother in Leicester. Which, at this point I find very unfortunate. Well, it wasn't long until Sigeweard managed to make Candido gluttonous (I assume Sigeweard let Candido eat all the pizzas he ought to have delivered)



In late 1174, grim news reached my ears. My dear friend and Court Chaplain of Deheubarth, Bishop Alan passed away. Even more grim news reached my ears after that. Sigeweard named a man known as 'the impaler' as his new Court Chaplain. I wonder what floats in the head of a man who hires a Court Chaplain which likes to impale stuff. Guess our beloved Duke was too stressful to actually concentrate on choosing a decent Court Chaplain.



Something pleasant happened in May, 1175. Sigeweard did something right. He had taught his Italian 'pizza delivery guy' son Candido to be a proper saxon! Fat one, though.



In May 29, 1175, Duke Sigeweard I of Deheubarth finally passed away at age of 42 due to a severe stress (Really? Really?) and he was succeeded by his Italian son Andrea I 'Fabio' of Deheubarth.





Andrea (who is possessed by the way) will be eventually succeded by his clearly Italian son Abbondio (or something like that). Where do these Italians come from!?

Thus endeth the reign of Duke Sigeweard I 'the maniacal builder and the lord of boredom, unfruitfulness and unproductivity and awesome moustaches' of Deheubarth, son of Eanfirth II. The building stuff and the superb mustaches were his all accomplishments. Really. (Well, I suppose he made the conquest of Ireland possible, but that's irrelevant. Ireland isn't that important.)

Damn I hope that Italian fella Andre doesn't force me to write his chronicles... I suspect he reigns as unbelievably leisurely as his father did. As befits for a man with Italian lineage. Better limp off before he catches me...

[Crécy]

That's that, and about time. Good luck with Andre...

http://www.mediafire.com/?d3z3alj16er87hx

[Oberon]

The short and boring reign of Duke Andrea I

It's a me! ANDRIO!

So, it's May 1175, my father just died, leaving me a load of land where it always rains and six out of the eleven people who help govern it hate me.
Still, he left me with a nice cash sum, and as we all know, money makes people like you. So, a bit of money is thrown around, and the amount of people that hate me goes down from six to four, which is a bit more managable for my dungeons if the need arises.

My father spent most of his life building things, houses, castles, walls, more walls, more houses, another castle, a church, some swings, a slide, a giant pit of death...I must get some signs put up around that, courtiers keep falling in it.

The rest of 1175 is mainly spent kicking peasants around South Wales, trying to keep out of the rain, sending lackies to get me on good terms with the King and Pope and building more giant pi-erm-houses.

1176 passes relatively uneventfully, my wife falls pregnant...hopefully this child will not be a drooling imbecile like my son who has taken to eating the olives from pizza and then throwing the rest away. The King decides he wants a piece of Ireland and goes over to collect it.
My second son is born in December 1176, it remains to be seen just how he will fair.

In 1178, a college party goes badly wrong and I end up being set on fire, this does not improve my temperament, nor does it get rid of the voices. But I do get maimed. So, there's that.
Shortly afterwards someone in Ireland dies and I somehow gain Tyrconnell and Leicester, so I give Tyrconnell to my son and heir (not the imbecille, the only thing he is getting is a quick trip to the Pit of Death if he tries anything) and Leicester to a vassal who hates me, along with a cash gift. He stops hating me but then favours himself as heir to my Duchy...the bastard! Thankfully he'll be dead soon...one way or the other.

In 1179, my duchy has spent a hundred years under English rule and no longer becomes a part of Wales, the King of England celebrates this by invading the Scottish county of Cumberland and Cardiff celebrates this by catching fire. Bloody rebels...

By 1181 upgrades to Welsh infrastructure mean that a good amount of monies are incoming.

In 1182 I decide that another place in Ireland would be nice to have, and send the army over to take a look at it. They come back mostly on fire, so I go over myself to take a look at it. I capture Oriel, and make a move on Ossory...and then the King of England decides that he wants to do the same thing...so it's a race to get to Ossory first...one that he wins.

Things get a little confusing after that, I end up in a war with the guy that the King puts in power in Ossory, and the King declares war on Scotland...again.

In 1189, I marry the imbecile off to a Norman hunchback and my daughter off to someone in Scotland. My other daughter I marry to the son of the King of England, he rejects the offer but his father agrees and overrules him. I marry my other daughter off to a random Saxon duke.

In 1193 I die a maimed cripple...

Wait...what?

Oh, you son of a...

Thankfully the imbecile doesn't manage to get into the transition process, and so Duke Andrea II (original naming goes far around here) becomes the new Duke of Deheubarth.




So, there we are...it really was that boring. I didn't do much, because I didn't see much that I could do other than continue Crecys building regime which is quite the money maker. The only amusing thing that did happen (when I caught fire) I pressed the wrong button and missed the event.

Hope the next player has more exciting things happen than I did!

http://www.mediafire.com/?8mdgzlgldyax4t4

[Hottentot]

I'll take this after the holidays if no one else will. Supposing I won't choke on ham, that is.

[Oberon]

Sorry it was rather a boring AAR, it's a nice Duchy though, very profitable. You can afford to hire a Mercenary Band without incuring much in the way of cash flow problems, however the King owns most of the areas around the Duchy, heck I think he's gunning to create the ALL HAIL BRITANNIAn empire.

[Raptor1]

Looking at the save file, I think the first order of business is to knock down the Crown Authority. Way, way down. As it is now the King is stealing over half of our (and every other vassal's) levies, making it extremely hard to face him without having the majority of the other vassals aboard. This could probably be achieved by making a Lower Crown Authority Faction or having him excommunicated (I think that if the King is deposed like that then the Crown Authority reverts to Autonomous Vassals). After that's done, we can start plotting to grab more land or the actual Kingdom itself.

Oh, and it's probably a good idea to convert the dynasty back to Saxon or, even better, Welsh (or any other Celtic culture), so that we can set up the Kingdom of Wales.

[Crécy]

Originally Posted by Oberon

Sorry it was rather a boring AAR

Well it is not your fault that Andrea the Italian pizza delivery plumber dies a maimed cripple so young . And I selfishly think that my AAR was more boring. It was tediously long and there happened much, much less than in your's.

I wonder why I kept calling Andrea Andre...

Would be a good idea to start to list of our rulers, mark their reigning years and perhaps give them nicknames accordingly of what they did, from what they are remember or something like that?

[Hottentot]

Originally Posted by Crécy

Would be a good idea to start to list of our rulers, mark their reigning years and perhaps give them nicknames accordingly of what they did, from what they are remember or something like that?

Guards! There's some bloody peasant whining for something under my window again! Tell him to bugger off towards the gallows, will you!

Seriously speaking, agreed now that the thread has grown a little. Therefore I updated the first post.

[Crécy]

Originally Posted by Crécy

Would be a good idea to start to list of our rulers, mark their reigning years and perhaps give them nicknames accordingly of what they did, from what they are remember or something like that?

And I meant to write: "Would it be..." not "Would be" as in indignant hint manner. I didn't mean to indicate that my ideas are good at default value. But everyone knows that of course.

[Hottentot]

Just so everyone knows: I'm about 30 years into being a magnificent bastard, and knowing the longevity of the Italians, it might still take a while before England gets rid of me. I haven't achieved anything, except for making Saxon infants an extinct species while trying to play with the inheritances. I have also been very efficient at wasting our money and constructed quite a few military buildings in vain hope of bolstering the army.

The Godwin dynasty now controls Denmark and the current (old) king is allied with the king of France as well, so a direct all out war isn't very healthy. The AI tried to lower the crown authority with a faction which I also joined, but we got driven to sea by the Danish hordes. On the plus side, if the inheritances play well, my current wife is the duchess of two duchies in Scotland, which equals...well, a huge lot of land. And the heir is betrothed to a Godwin girl, so his kids may get a claim on the whole kingdom, which can then perhaps be enforced with a faction?