Well that sucks! - Page 6

Platapus · 05-16-10, 04:52 PM

Reminds me of an old joke

How is your wife like your car?

How many times on a cold morning, when you really need it, it won't turn over.

(Crickets chirping)

I think I will go back to writing my paper now.

GoldenRivet · 05-16-10, 05:09 PM

2 friends are talking in a bar.

Friend 1: Every time I stay out all night drinking and then go home, i turn off the headlights, kill the engine, coast into the driveway, i take off my shoes and head up stairs where i slowly and silently change out of my clothes into some PJs and i ease into the bed so i dont wake up my wife... and every time she wakes up and rides my ass for the next hour and a half.

Friend 2: Your doing it all wrong man... when I go home i come skidding to a stop in the driveway, i slam open the front door, i run upstairs and go to the bathroom, then i kick off my shoes and strip down to my boxers. Then i bounce into the bed and rub my wife on the ass and say "Hey babe... how about a little tail tonight?!"

she is always sound asleep when i do that.

Platapus · 05-16-10, 05:29 PM

That's a good one. I had not heard that one before.

Freiwillige · 05-16-10, 09:25 PM

Great guys keep em coming! I love that last one.

gimpy117 · 05-16-10, 09:38 PM

I agree with the rest...dump here...if that's all it takes for her to cheat on you its a bad sign! (there are a lot more jerks with motorcycles out there)

Sailor Steve · 05-16-10, 10:40 PM

Q. Why do brides wear white?
A. You want your dishwasher to match the fridge and stove.

Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None. Let her cook in the dark.

Sondra Locke: What happened to your wife?
Clint Eastwood: I shot her.
SL: Shot her!?!? Why?
CL: Caught her in bed with my best friend.
SL: Did you shoot him too?
CL: No! He was my best friend.
-from Bronco Billy

A Georgia man is in front of the judge for murdering his wife.

Judge: Beauregard, befo' Ah pass sentence Ah would like to ask one question. Why did you shoot yo' wife and not her lover?
Beauregard: Yo' honah, I deemed it bettah to shoot one woman one time, than to shoot a different man evah night.
Judge: Justifiable homicide! Case dismissed!

05-16-10, 04:52 PM	#76
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,402 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Reminds me of an old joke How is your wife like your car? How many times on a cold morning, when you really need it, it won't turn over. (Crickets chirping) I think I will go back to writing my paper now. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

05-16-10, 05:09 PM	#77
GoldenRivet Subsim Aviator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 8,726 Downloads: 146 Uploads: 0	2 friends are talking in a bar. Friend 1: Every time I stay out all night drinking and then go home, i turn off the headlights, kill the engine, coast into the driveway, i take off my shoes and head up stairs where i slowly and silently change out of my clothes into some PJs and i ease into the bed so i dont wake up my wife... and every time she wakes up and rides my ass for the next hour and a half. Friend 2: Your doing it all wrong man... when I go home i come skidding to a stop in the driveway, i slam open the front door, i run upstairs and go to the bathroom, then i kick off my shoes and strip down to my boxers. Then i bounce into the bed and rub my wife on the ass and say "Hey babe... how about a little tail tonight?!" she is always sound asleep when i do that. __________________

05-16-10, 05:29 PM	#78
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,402 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	That's a good one. I had not heard that one before. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

05-16-10, 09:38 PM	#80
gimpy117 Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Kalamazoo, MI Posts: 3,243 Downloads: 108 Uploads: 0	I agree with the rest...dump here...if that's all it takes for her to cheat on you its a bad sign! (there are a lot more jerks with motorcycles out there) __________________ Member of the Subsim Zombie Army

05-16-10, 10:40 PM	#81
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Q. Why do brides wear white? A. You want your dishwasher to match the fridge and stove. Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. None. Let her cook in the dark. Sondra Locke: What happened to your wife? Clint Eastwood: I shot her. SL: Shot her!?!? Why? CL: Caught her in bed with my best friend. SL: Did you shoot him too? CL: No! He was my best friend. -from Bronco Billy A Georgia man is in front of the judge for murdering his wife. Judge: Beauregard, befo' Ah pass sentence Ah would like to ask one question. Why did you shoot yo' wife and not her lover? Beauregard: Yo' honah, I deemed it bettah to shoot one woman one time, than to shoot a different man evah night. Judge: Justifiable homicide! Case dismissed! __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

05-16-10, 09:25 PM	#79
Freiwillige The Old Man Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Phx. Az Posts: 1,458 Downloads: 24 Uploads: 0	Great guys keep em coming! I love that last one.