Your location?

[Grell]

Toronto area here.

Regards,

Grell

[Morts]

Originally Posted by Biggles

Ah, you got me there! Hej granne!

hey, jævla svenska :rotfl: (not sure if its spelled correctly)

just joking

[Venatore]

Originally Posted by Sgt Swanson

We got the best BBQ right here down South in NC!! Pork Rulz!!!

Ah see this is where your not taking the whole BBQ picture into account. Australia has the best BBQ's because;
1. The Climate,
2. The Flies,
3. The beer guts on the men/ladies,
4. The Beer - Tooheys New, Tooheys Old, Tooheys extra dry, Full sail, Squires range, Sydney lager, XXXX, XXXX gold, Eumundi, Carbine Stout, Extra dry, Thirsty dog, Coopers, original Pale ale, Premium ale, Dark ale, Finest export, Sparkiling ale, Casade premium, Cascade Premium light, Cascade special stout, Boags, Fosters, Piss, Piss weak, VB, Melbourne bitter, Emu Bitter, Emu draft, Emu export, Swan draught, Swan gold, 1857 Bitter, dogbolter, Red ant, Matilda Bay premium.
5. We own the thongs (things you put on our feet...for thoses Poms).
6. Sitting around the TV outside watching the Poms loosing the Ashes :rotfl:

IN SUMMARY
http://www.australianbeers.com/

Given the barbie's importance culturally, we thought we would set out a guide for the uninitiated to allow them to conduct their own barbie, or if lucky enough to be invited to one, to ensure they behave in a way that is culturally sensitive.

Generally the steps of a barbie are as follows:

1. Get the beer.
2. Get the barbie.
3. Get the meat.
4. Get the salads (optional).
5. Drink, Cook and Eat in that order, preferably in the sun by the beach.

It really is as simple as that.

Step number one then, is getting the beer. A barbie must have beer or it is not a barbie. One of the authors of this site had the grave misfortune of being invited to a Canadian work "barbeque" in London, Canada. He was of course quite excited by this as he hadn't been to a barbie in quite some time. Unfortunately, the Canadians thought it was perfectly normal to have an alcohol free barbie. Something about not wanting to be sued.

That would not be possible in Australia. The author was enraged to the verge of madness, as would be any Aussie.

To top it off, the Canadians didn't even think the BBQ required meat. That's right, they had some meat substitute instead. So this so-called Canadian barbie consisted of staff members standing around, drinking "pop" (ie soft drink), and eating fake meat.

Such a work function in Australia would seriously be considered a grave insult to staff members, and would do much much more damage than good.

Anyway, back to the beer. Traditionally Australians drink lagers at barbies. Which lager you would pick would depend on where you are living. In Queensland, if you rock up to barbie at, say, Slaughter Falls, you would generally see cartons of XXXXEskys of course). However, at Coogie in Sydney you would be more likely to see Toohey's New. To be safe, turn up with a carton of Australia's de facto national lager: VB. You won't hear too many complaints no matter where you are. being consumed (all in

Pushed for specifics, Pawsey [Project brewer at Castlemaine Perkins] reveals that a burnt piece of meat requires a beer with a bit of oomph, like a stout or a Tooheys Old, to enhance the flavour. "If that's a bit too heavy, go for something with a lot of hops in it with real flavour like Hahn Premium or XXXX Bitter," Pawsey says. Lighter tasting beers should be avoided unless you're at one of those barbecued broad-bean-with-soy-and-cashew-ball salad affairs. "The more subtle flavours of something like a Hahn Ice will get overpowered by the meat," Pawsey advises.
Equal Rights for all, Michael Madigan, The Courier Mail, 14 January 2003

But I think I'll give the foodies a miss for now because, like most Aussies, I know that all anyone really needs is a glass of chateau cardboard or an ice-cold tinnie with a barbecued supermarket sausage and a large serve of superb Sydney summer weather.

Choking on celebrity chefs' Christmas dinners, SMH Dec 28 2004

There is an Australian adage that when hosting a barbecue, a knock on the door should never be answered as it means the guest isn't carrying the required case of beer. (One should only answer a kick on the door.)

ConvictCreations.com, 10 April 2005

Once the beer is sorted you need to find yourself a barbie. The great thing about Australia is that it is full of barbies. Parks, beaches, camp sites - you name it, most of them have public barbies available to barby hungry Australians. Some of them are wood barbies, and require you to light your own fire. Many, however, work on gas for nothing or a small fee. Of course, most homes have their own, and it is very common for Australians to invite their mates around to their place for a barbie. Unlike other places, Australian homes are large enough, and in a pretty enough environment with good enough weather to do this. It is perhaps for this reason that the Australian pub culture isn't as strong as some others - we are at home with our mates cooking up a few snags and having a laugh.

But back to the barbies. Now, we all know that some cultures are obsessed with cleanliness when it comes to cooking, and avoid at all costs cooking space that is dirty (as in with dirt), grubby, grotty and smelly. They would also avoid devices that have been exposed to the elements for possibly years, are rusty and perhaps covered with layers of disgusting fat and infested with vile insects.

Well you can kiss all that goodbye. Welcome to the Australian barbie, which will give you all that and more.

Given this, cleaning and sterilising a barbie is an important first part of the process. Generally this will involve scraping the rust off with a knife, and burning the crap out of the barbie to get rid of the old fat. Rather than a cleaner, the ever helpful beer is often used to facilitate this process.

This barbie needed a good blast before use...

Once this is done, you can contemplate cooking your food. But first an observation. Generally speaking, the Australian male is a very lazy beast domestically, preferring to leave such tasks as cooking and cleaning to the fairer sex. If you suggested to an Australian male that he might be found in the kitchen, wearing an apron, whipping up some tucker for the misses, chances are you would be in danger of him knocking your block off.

And yet, ironically, that's exactly what the Australian male does during a BBQ.

Males always cook barbies. The women make the salad. That's the way it is. It is a thing of pride for a bloke to be able to cook the meat at a barbie. Although to the untrained eye it may appear as though it simply involves whacking meat on a hot plate and waiting till it is black, it is in fact a very delicate and highly skilled art. It is for this reason that men gather around the barbie when the host is cooking, drinking their beer, and offer very specific advice on how he is going. A bit like how 3 council workers sit around a forth digging a hole and tell him how he could do that better. Sometimes the cook (who always starts off as the host), will get the ****s, and offer the tongs to one of the commentators. This is a sign of aggression similar to slapping someone in the face with a glove. A person needs to be very careful about his response: once the tongs are taken, it is a statement of cooking superiority and a commitment to see the barbie through unless the recipient's skills are also challenged and the tongs passed on again. Young players are advised to respectfully decline the tongs until their skills are more fully developed and they are confident cooking for a large group.

It is quite possible for 3 or 4 blokes to be involved in cooking the one barbie due to such challenges.

But back to barbie basics. First, you need onions. Lots of them. Many more than you think you would need. You cannot have enough onions. A bit like those cold days in the pool, Onions will shrink like you wouldn't believe. And everyone eats them. If possible the women, who will be busy on the salads if there are any, will have chopped them. Otherwise you will have to do it, and you'll cry like a baby.

But it's worth it.

Onions must go on first because they take the longest. Whether or not you take them off when they seem ready to you and heat them at the end is a personal preference. Some prefer their onions black - other, more refined barbie goers, do not.

Either way, they have to go on first.

Onions take a while....

One thing to remember when barbequing is that regardless of what you are cooking: onions, steaks, chops, kebabs, chicken - it doesn't matter - it will improve with some beer tipped over it. Further, it is in this sphere that you can assist a barbie cook without insulting him. Every bloke sitting around the barbie will at some stage during the day tip beer on the food.

[Barbie] Cooking is generally improved with a beer.

Federal Treasurer Peter Costello, Snake upstages Costello on TV, SMH, 21 July 2004

All BBQ food must have plenty of beer tipped on it...

Once the onions have had a fair wack, it is time for the snags. When planning snag numbers, don't forget that a barbie is not a small affair, and may go on for many many hours as beers are consumed throughout the day and into the night. Hence you need enough snags for after the barbie. Further, everyone likes to nibble on the snags as they are cooking. So really you need enough snags for during the cooking, during the eating, and after the eating. Snags are also good to stuff into the kids so they don't eat the steak.

Luckily, despite their high nutritional value, snags are cheap. Like onions, more is better.

Under the guidance of Thommo the bush chef, Mr Costello donned an apron and showed a confident touch when it came to handling snags. "You shouldn't fork them. In this modern day and age, forking them is a bad mistake."

Federal Treasurer Peter Costello, Snake upstages Costello on TV, SMH, 21 July 2004

Congratulations on your bonzer comments re gender. You have more than a skerrick of nous. It's about time the feminist lobby was exposed. Too many politicians, especially those greenies, are "two kangaroos short in the top paddock", "two Falcons short in the top carpark", "a couple of snags short of a barbie", and "two raspberries short of a punnet", plus being "a couple of tinnies short of a six pack" and that is pretty short, almost as short as Gerry Bates!!!

Letter to Hon. Mr Shulze MP, as read by Mr Shulze in Parliament, Tasmanian Hansard, 21 October 1997 - Part 2

Snags come after onions....

Different cooks have different styles when it comes to snags. The person responsible for the 'snag mess' above was a bit of a novice when it came to barbies - and it showed. It took an old hand to come in and sort things out. Of course, there are as many snag cooking styles as there are cooks. But in our view, World's Best Practice would suggest cooking snags in rows such as in the picture below.

Next wack on the steak or chops.... The next step is of course whacking on the steak or chops. These shouldn't take long to cook by comparison, and before you know it you'll be tucking into some fair dinkum aussie barbie tucker.
Getting into it... Of course, following the consumption of what is always known as a 'few' beers, you may feel as though you need to have a kip.
And why not? After all, it's been another hard day in the life of an Australian!
Time for a kip.... Enjoy.
NOTE: You can learn a lot more about the language and culture of barbies in The Aussie English CD.

The world knows us for g'day mate, Anzacs, wallabies and kangaroo... we've got top sheilas and good blokes, utes and we have a coldie around the barbie. We don't need diapers, candy, ketchup, trash cans and fries – we've got nappies, lollies, tomato sauce, rubbish tins and chips.

Have I left anthing out ?:hmm: oh... by the way thats not me

[Morts]

wow, i didn know there was that much to say about BBQ:rotfl:

[Venatore]

The BBQ is a work of art my friend !:rotfl:

[Biggles]

Originally Posted by Venatore

The BBQ is a work of art my friend !:rotfl:

ever visited "Shorty's" in Miami, Florida?

I thought not. There, my friend, may you find the BEST BBQ in the entire United States!

BTW, I'll maybe go "down under" this summer to learn some more english! (and to meet gals )

[Rotor]

and now the point from the danish jury... Not still ONLY Europe, but we shall probably vote until desired result

[Zero Niner]

I'm from Singapore.

[Generis71]

Hi folks.. I'm from England too, in the county of Nottinghamshire, where Robin Hood lives. Honest.

Nice to meet you all

[Biggles]

Originally Posted by Generis71

Hi folks.. I'm from England too, in the county of Nottinghamshire, where Robin Hood lives. Honest.

Nice to meet you all

Ah, well, were are you merry men then?

[Venatore]

Originally Posted by Razman23

My bad, I apoligize. I thought I remembered them all.

Please no harm intended to our friends down under (Aussies and New Zealanders).

None taken my friend.

[Biggles]

Originally Posted by Venatore

None taken my friend.

hang on a sec.....your not australian!!!!!

you used "friend", not "mate"!!!!!!!

[Hybris]

I live in a sea... a sea of Kansas wheat in the middle of the US about 300 miles away from the only river that is long enough to reach the gulf (ED98 here I come :rotfl In other words I'm here.

[gdogghenrikson]

I am from the USA

[q65]

OH Canada Eh
Live close to the St Lawerence Seaway's Welland canal. I wonder each day as I drive to work were to put a eel on one of those lakers that makes the bridges go up and me late for work.