The joke thread II - Page 375

Jimbuna · 03-30-25, 10:57 AM

What should you do if you’re cold?

Stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees.

Jimbuna · 03-31-25, 12:47 PM

What does a clock do when it’s hungry?

It goes back for seconds.

Platapus · 03-31-25, 04:31 PM

I made money being a rodeo rider.

Every horse I rode gave me a couple of bucks

Jimbuna · 04-01-25, 12:18 PM

Why did Shakespeare always write with a pen?

Because pencils made him ask ‘2B or not 2B’?

Jimbuna · 04-03-25, 12:53 PM

What does one eye say to the other eye?

Something between us smells.

Jimbuna · 04-04-25, 11:07 AM

Why should you never trust stairs?

They’re always up to something.

Jimbuna · 04-05-25, 10:37 AM

What’s the spookiest kind of author?

A ghost writer.

Jimbuna · 04-06-25, 01:01 PM

What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?

Why so Sirius?

Platapus · 04-06-25, 03:52 PM

I tried Salsa dancing, but did not seem to make any progress

To me, it seemed that for every step forward I ended up taking two steps backwards.

Jimbuna · 04-07-25, 07:17 AM

Why do we tell actors to ‘break a leg’?

Because every play has a cast.

Jimbuna · 04-08-25, 12:31 PM

What’s an astronaut’s favourite part of a keyboard?

The space bar.

Platapus · 04-08-25, 05:25 PM

My wife told me that she has never seen the movie "Gaslight"

I told her that she has seen it.

Jimbuna · 04-09-25, 08:54 AM

Did you hear about the people who stole a calendar?

They each got 6 months.

Jimbuna · 04-10-25, 12:24 PM

Why is it hard to eat near basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

Jimbuna · 04-12-25, 11:43 AM

Did you hear about the actor falling through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage.

03-30-25, 10:57 AM	#5611
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

03-31-25, 12:47 PM	#5612
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back for seconds. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

03-31-25, 04:31 PM	#5613
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,407 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I made money being a rodeo rider. Every horse I rode gave me a couple of bucks __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

04-01-25, 12:18 PM	#5614
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did Shakespeare always write with a pen? Because pencils made him ask ‘2B or not 2B’? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-03-25, 12:53 PM	#5615
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What does one eye say to the other eye? Something between us smells. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-04-25, 11:07 AM	#5616
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why should you never trust stairs? They’re always up to something. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-05-25, 10:37 AM	#5617
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What’s the spookiest kind of author? A ghost writer. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-06-25, 01:01 PM	#5618
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the comedian say to Harry Potter? Why so Sirius? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-06-25, 03:52 PM	#5619
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,407 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I tried Salsa dancing, but did not seem to make any progress To me, it seemed that for every step forward I ended up taking two steps backwards. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

04-07-25, 07:17 AM	#5620
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why do we tell actors to ‘break a leg’? Because every play has a cast. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-08-25, 12:31 PM	#5621
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What’s an astronaut’s favourite part of a keyboard? The space bar. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-08-25, 05:25 PM	#5622
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,407 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My wife told me that she has never seen the movie "Gaslight" I told her that she has seen it. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

04-09-25, 08:54 AM	#5623
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the people who stole a calendar? They each got 6 months. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-10-25, 12:24 PM	#5624
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why is it hard to eat near basketball players? They dribble all the time. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-12-25, 11:43 AM	#5625
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,168 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the actor falling through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!