The joke thread II - Page 360

Jimbuna · 10-05-24, 06:10 AM

What cat likes living in water?

An octo-puss.

Jimbuna · 10-06-24, 08:19 AM

Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?

His heart wasn’t in it.

Jimbuna · 10-07-24, 11:59 AM

What kind of music do mummies love?

Wrap music.

Eisenwurst · 10-08-24, 01:03 AM

What's the closest thing to Silver??

The Lone Ranger's bum.

Shadowblade · 10-08-24, 05:26 AM

Doctor: Your husband needs some rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When should I give these to him?
Doctor: These are for you.

Jimbuna · 10-08-24, 07:44 AM

What fruit do scarecrows love the most?

Straw-berries.

Shadowblade · 10-08-24, 10:20 AM

I told my boss I needed a raise because three other companies were after me. He said, “Which ones?”
I replied, “The electric company, the gas company, and the water company.”

Jimbuna · 10-08-24, 10:30 AM

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

The flag is a big plus.

Platapus · 10-08-24, 04:35 PM

What do you call a cow fart?

Derrière

Jimbuna · 10-09-24, 09:29 AM

Who isn't hungry at Thanksgiving?

The turkey—he’s already stuffed.

Platapus · 10-09-24, 04:33 PM

Did you hear about the scientist who accidentally cooled himself to absolute zero?

He was 0K

Jimbuna · 10-10-24, 07:40 AM

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside.

Platapus · 10-10-24, 04:04 PM

What do you name a kid born with no shins?

Tony

Jimbuna · 10-11-24, 06:20 AM

Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?

Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.

Jimbuna · 10-12-24, 12:18 PM

Why did the turkey cross the road twice?

To show he wasn't a chicken.

10-05-24, 06:10 AM	#5386
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,401 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What cat likes living in water? An octo-puss. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-06-24, 08:19 AM	#5387
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,401 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why didn’t the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn’t in it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-07-24, 11:59 AM	#5388
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,401 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What kind of music do mummies love? Wrap music. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-08-24, 01:03 AM	#5389
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,808 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	What's the closest thing to Silver?? The Lone Ranger's bum. __________________

10-08-24, 05:26 AM	#5390
Shadowblade Grey Wolf Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 772 Downloads: 14 Uploads: 0	Doctor: Your husband needs some rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills. Wife: When should I give these to him? Doctor: These are for you. __________________ Kapitänleutnant Vlad von Carstein - U-Flotilla Saltzwedel - U-123, Type IXB SH3 GWX 3.0

10-08-24, 07:44 AM	#5391
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,401 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What fruit do scarecrows love the most? Straw-berries. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-08-24, 10:20 AM	#5392
Shadowblade Grey Wolf Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 772 Downloads: 14 Uploads: 0	I told my boss I needed a raise because three other companies were after me. He said, “Which ones?” I replied, “The electric company, the gas company, and the water company.” __________________ Kapitänleutnant Vlad von Carstein - U-Flotilla Saltzwedel - U-123, Type IXB SH3 GWX 3.0

10-08-24, 10:30 AM	#5393
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,401 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-08-24, 04:35 PM	#5394
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,438 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What do you call a cow fart? Derrière __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-09-24, 09:29 AM	#5395
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,401 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Who isn't hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey—he’s already stuffed. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-09-24, 04:33 PM	#5396
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,438 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Did you hear about the scientist who accidentally cooled himself to absolute zero? He was 0K __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-10-24, 07:40 AM	#5397
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,401 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-10-24, 04:04 PM	#5398
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,438 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What do you name a kid born with no shins? Tony __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-11-24, 06:20 AM	#5399
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,401 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down? Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-12-24, 12:18 PM	#5400
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,401 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To show he wasn't a chicken. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!