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SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
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#5041 |
Gefallen Engel U-666
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/\ "U idiot!" Jimbuna replied; "for daughters, U always use a mangonel!"
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"Only two things are infinite; The Universe and human squirrelyness; and I'm not too sure about the Universe" |
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#5042 |
Chief of the Boat
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I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#5043 |
Chief of the Boat
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I just researched my family tree and discovered that I am the sap!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#5044 |
Fleet Admiral
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“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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#5045 |
Chief of the Boat
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What did one squirrel say to the other? Come around the tree and I'll show you my nuts.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#5046 |
Village Idiot
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I interviewed for a job when they asked the question.
"What steps would you take in case of a fire?" Apparently "Big freaking ones!" Was the wrong answer. |
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#5047 |
Chief of the Boat
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Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#5048 |
Fleet Admiral
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I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much.
But I’m not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themselfs.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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#5049 |
Chief of the Boat
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What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? Her navel.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#5050 |
Chief of the Boat
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Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#5051 |
Fleet Admiral
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Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear. of course that depends on the friend. ![]()
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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#5052 |
Chief of the Boat
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How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#5053 |
Chief of the Boat
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The Titanic was built to last, let that sink in.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#5054 |
Chief of the Boat
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If a professional piano player is pianist, is a professional race car driver racist? And what about people who make rap music?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#5055 |
Village Idiot
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A burglar broke in my house last night but I knew exactly what to do.
I grabbed my laser pointer and aimed it at his forehead. My 3 cats took care of the rest. The Doctors say he should survive. |
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