The joke thread II - Page 321

Platapus · 11-20-23, 05:43 PM

Cats have 32 muscles in their ears

All to help them ignore you

Jimbuna · 11-21-23, 06:38 AM

Did you hear the rumour about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!

Platapus · 11-21-23, 05:42 PM

Why do Flamingos stand with one leg tucked under them?

Because if they tried to stand with both legs tucked under them, they would fall

Jimbuna · 11-22-23, 07:16 AM

Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.

Platapus · 11-22-23, 08:42 AM

I am now on two diets

I found out that I was not getting enough food on just one diet.

Jimbuna · 11-22-23, 10:34 AM

What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries

Platapus · 11-23-23, 07:33 AM

Why is my dog like my cell phone?

They both have collar-IDs

Jimbuna · 11-23-23, 07:42 AM

Where do burgers go dancing? At the meatball.

Jimbuna · 11-23-23, 07:48 AM

What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn.

Platapus · 11-23-23, 09:35 AM

Why are Dalmatians terrible at playing hide and seek?

Because they are always spotted!

Jimbuna · 11-23-23, 01:36 PM

Why was the broom late? It over-swept.

Platapus · 11-24-23, 07:19 AM

Trying to clean a house with a dog there is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos

Jimbuna · 11-24-23, 08:03 AM

What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.

Platapus · 11-24-23, 10:36 AM

What do you call a lazy kangaroo baby

A pouch potato

Jimbuna · 11-24-23, 01:12 PM

Where do books hide when they’re afraid? Under their covers.

11-20-23, 05:43 PM	#4801
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,388 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Cats have 32 muscles in their ears All to help them ignore you __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-21-23, 06:38 AM	#4802
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,795 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear the rumour about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-21-23, 05:42 PM	#4803
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,388 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why do Flamingos stand with one leg tucked under them? Because if they tried to stand with both legs tucked under them, they would fall __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-22-23, 07:16 AM	#4804
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,795 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-22-23, 08:42 AM	#4805
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,388 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I am now on two diets I found out that I was not getting enough food on just one diet. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-22-23, 10:34 AM	#4806
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,795 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-23-23, 07:33 AM	#4807
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,388 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why is my dog like my cell phone? They both have collar-IDs __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-23-23, 07:42 AM	#4808
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,795 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Where do burgers go dancing? At the meatball. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-23-23, 07:48 AM	#4809
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,795 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What time do ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-23-23, 09:35 AM	#4810
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,388 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why are Dalmatians terrible at playing hide and seek? Because they are always spotted! __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-23-23, 01:36 PM	#4811
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,795 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why was the broom late? It over-swept. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-24-23, 07:19 AM	#4812
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,388 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Trying to clean a house with a dog there is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-24-23, 08:03 AM	#4813
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,795 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-24-23, 10:36 AM	#4814
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,388 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What do you call a lazy kangaroo baby A pouch potato __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-24-23, 01:12 PM	#4815
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,795 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Where do books hide when they’re afraid? Under their covers. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!