The joke thread II - Page 315

Platapus · 10-17-23, 04:22 PM

Cross-eyed teachers have a harder time controlling their pupils

Jimbuna · 10-18-23, 06:17 AM

How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans.

Jimbuna · 10-18-23, 01:12 PM

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.

Jimbuna · 10-19-23, 05:03 AM

How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.

Jimbuna · 10-19-23, 05:06 AM

Why shouldn’t you trust trees? They seem shady.

Platapus · 10-19-23, 01:51 PM

My girlfriend left me because she thinks I am obsessed with gambling.

All I can think of is how to win her back.

Jimbuna · 10-20-23, 06:50 AM

What kind of music scares balloons? Pop music.

Jimbuna · 10-20-23, 12:34 PM

What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather? A shoe.

Platapus · 10-20-23, 04:00 PM

My wife blocked me on facebook for making too many bird puns

Well toucan play at that game

Jimbuna · 10-21-23, 05:57 AM

How do you stop a bull from charging? You cancel its credit card.

Platapus · 10-21-23, 01:02 PM

My wife said "you have no sense of direction"

I wondered where that came from?

Jimbuna · 10-22-23, 06:39 AM

Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools.

Jimbuna · 10-23-23, 06:05 AM

Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory? He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

Jimbuna · 10-23-23, 01:13 PM

Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.

Platapus · 10-23-23, 02:24 PM

I drank some holy water along with a laxative

I am about to start a religious movement

10-17-23, 04:22 PM	#4711
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,000 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Cross-eyed teachers have a harder time controlling their pupils __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-18-23, 06:17 AM	#4712
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-18-23, 01:12 PM	#4713
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-19-23, 05:03 AM	#4714
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-19-23, 05:06 AM	#4715
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why shouldn’t you trust trees? They seem shady. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-19-23, 01:51 PM	#4716
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,000 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My girlfriend left me because she thinks I am obsessed with gambling. All I can think of is how to win her back. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-20-23, 06:50 AM	#4717
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What kind of music scares balloons? Pop music. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-20-23, 12:34 PM	#4718
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather? A shoe. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-20-23, 04:00 PM	#4719
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,000 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My wife blocked me on facebook for making too many bird puns Well toucan play at that game __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-21-23, 05:57 AM	#4720
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How do you stop a bull from charging? You cancel its credit card. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-21-23, 01:02 PM	#4721
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,000 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My wife said "you have no sense of direction" I wondered where that came from? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-22-23, 06:39 AM	#4722
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-23-23, 06:05 AM	#4723
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory? He wasn’t putting in enough shifts. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-23-23, 01:13 PM	#4724
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,912 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-23-23, 02:24 PM	#4725
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,000 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I drank some holy water along with a laxative I am about to start a religious movement __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.