The joke thread II - Page 312

Jimbuna · 10-04-23, 04:11 AM

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.

Platapus · 10-04-23, 05:00 AM

My girlfriend dumped me today, saying that I was not American enough.

I saw that coming a kilometer away

Jimbuna · 10-04-23, 08:49 AM

Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.

Platapus · 10-04-23, 04:07 PM

My wife called me at the bar and told me "If yiou are not home in 10 minutes, I will give your dinner to the dog"

You can bet that I made sure I was home in 5 minutes....

I love that dog

Jimbuna · 10-05-23, 06:38 AM

When does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary.

Jimbuna · 10-05-23, 01:33 PM

What did the tree say when spring finally arrived? What a re-leaf.

Platapus · 10-05-23, 02:37 PM

I admit that I married my wife for her looks

Not the ones she has been giving me lately, though

Jimbuna · 10-06-23, 05:25 AM

Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.

Platapus · 10-06-23, 06:00 AM

What did the triangle say to the circle

"You're pointless"

Jimbuna · 10-06-23, 08:43 AM

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

Platapus · 10-06-23, 01:19 PM

My wife is putting glue on all my rifles

She denies it...

but I am sticking to my guns

Jimbuna · 10-07-23, 08:56 AM

How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.

Platapus · 10-07-23, 01:45 PM

Someone just called my phone and all they did was sniff, cough, and sneeze.

I am getting tired of these cold calls

Von Due · 10-07-23, 03:26 PM

In response to Japan's shrinking workforce, Toyota presented today their new car

Jimbuna · 10-08-23, 05:57 AM

Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sour puss.

10-04-23, 04:11 AM	#4666
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-04-23, 05:00 AM	#4667
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,999 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My girlfriend dumped me today, saying that I was not American enough. I saw that coming a kilometer away __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-04-23, 08:49 AM	#4668
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-04-23, 04:07 PM	#4669
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,999 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My wife called me at the bar and told me "If yiou are not home in 10 minutes, I will give your dinner to the dog" You can bet that I made sure I was home in 5 minutes.... I love that dog __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-05-23, 06:38 AM	#4670
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	When does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-05-23, 01:33 PM	#4671
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the tree say when spring finally arrived? What a re-leaf. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-05-23, 02:37 PM	#4672
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,999 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I admit that I married my wife for her looks Not the ones she has been giving me lately, though __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-06-23, 05:25 AM	#4673
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-06-23, 06:00 AM	#4674
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,999 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What did the triangle say to the circle "You're pointless" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-06-23, 08:43 AM	#4675
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-06-23, 01:19 PM	#4676
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,999 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My wife is putting glue on all my rifles She denies it... but I am sticking to my guns __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-07-23, 08:56 AM	#4677
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-07-23, 01:45 PM	#4678
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,999 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Someone just called my phone and all they did was sniff, cough, and sneeze. I am getting tired of these cold calls __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-07-23, 03:26 PM	#4679
Von Due Sea Lord Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 1,668 Downloads: 30 Uploads: 0	In response to Japan's shrinking workforce, Toyota presented today their new car

10-08-23, 05:57 AM	#4680
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sour puss. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)