The joke thread II - Page 303

Platapus · 08-10-23, 03:24 AM

I met my wife on Tinder

It was awkward to say the least

Jimbuna · 08-10-23, 05:08 AM

What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got marooned!

Jimbuna · 08-10-23, 07:33 AM

What did the termite say when it walked into a bar?
"Where's the bar tender?"

Platapus · 08-10-23, 01:34 PM

My wife says that I am the cheapest man in the world.

I'm not buying that

Jimbuna · 08-11-23, 06:32 AM

Why can’t you send a duck to space?
Because the bill would be astronomical!

Platapus · 08-11-23, 07:20 AM

What kind of doctor was Dr. Pepper

Fizz-ician, of course

Jimbuna · 08-11-23, 07:58 AM

What happened when the world's tongue-twister champion got arrested?
They gave him a tough sentence!

Jimbuna · 08-12-23, 03:47 AM

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Platapus · 08-12-23, 05:33 AM

If you are an American when you go into a bathroom and an American when you leave a bathroom, what are you when you are in the bathroom?

European.

Jimbuna · 08-12-23, 05:53 AM

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a shellfish?
An oyster bunny!

Platapus · 08-12-23, 01:52 PM

I have to confess

The time I had my Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.

Jimbuna · 08-13-23, 05:28 AM

Why did the pony get sent to his room?
He wouldn’t stop horsing around!

Jimbuna · 08-13-23, 01:55 PM

Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted!

Jeff-Groves · 08-13-23, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted!

Variation of post #4522?

Jimbuna · 08-14-23, 04:13 AM

How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut!

08-10-23, 03:24 AM	#4531
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,444 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I met my wife on Tinder It was awkward to say the least __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-10-23, 05:08 AM	#4532
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? He got marooned! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-10-23, 07:33 AM	#4533
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the termite say when it walked into a bar? "Where's the bar tender?" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-10-23, 01:34 PM	#4534
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,444 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My wife says that I am the cheapest man in the world. I'm not buying that __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-11-23, 06:32 AM	#4535
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why can’t you send a duck to space? Because the bill would be astronomical! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-11-23, 07:20 AM	#4536
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,444 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What kind of doctor was Dr. Pepper Fizz-ician, of course __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-11-23, 07:58 AM	#4537
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What happened when the world's tongue-twister champion got arrested? They gave him a tough sentence! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-12-23, 03:47 AM	#4538
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-12-23, 05:33 AM	#4539
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,444 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	If you are an American when you go into a bathroom and an American when you leave a bathroom, what are you when you are in the bathroom? European. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-12-23, 05:53 AM	#4540
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a shellfish? An oyster bunny! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-12-23, 01:52 PM	#4541
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,444 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I have to confess The time I had my Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-13-23, 05:28 AM	#4542
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did the pony get sent to his room? He wouldn’t stop horsing around! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-13-23, 01:55 PM	#4543
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-14-23, 04:13 AM	#4545
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,484 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!