Bilge - Page 3

Bellman · 11-01-05, 01:46 AM

BOT- Bilges - Rubbish.

For those of us who take rubbish very, very seriously:-

http://www.funny.co.uk/keywords/prop...ish-jokes.html

The Mods please note there is a valuable and informative section on...................................''Fish''

Bellman · 11-09-05, 12:05 PM

A useful tool - Microsoft Calculator Plus.

http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/d...displaylang=en

Bellman · 11-12-05, 01:59 AM

Mindfull of the ever present challenges to airconditioning technology in the latest submarines, I call
your attention to a BBC contributor:-

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbtoday/F27...thread=1434169

Amazing the lengths to which scientists will go in pursuit of ''pure'' research.

Bellman · 11-16-05, 09:42 AM

Broadly on topic - Sea Rescue

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster.
A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)

Read or listen to more ' hilarious cuttings from their newspapers' sent in by listners.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/n...cuttings.shtml

Kapitan · 11-16-05, 10:09 AM

lmfao :rotfl:

Bellman · 11-17-05, 02:05 AM

Referring to the outcome of many of our DW battles, it is only proper that we consider the 'final' proceedings.

It is reported that there is an increasing trend for 'Pop songs' to be played during funeral services.
Tunes like "I did it my way'' are very popular and there is an increasing trend to "Hot, Hot, Hot Dance Songs ''
at crematoriums.

Bellman · 11-19-05, 02:42 AM

Back on topic.

No serious student of the history and development of the technology of 'waste management' should be unaware
of this leading edge firm :-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Crapper

Bellman · 11-19-05, 09:21 AM

..........and for any fragrent ladies who may have wandered in here.
Honey let me give you a bouqet of the 'Hyacinth' kind :-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey_bucket

Now come on -If Her Majesty does it, dont get uppity.

Bellman · 11-19-05, 09:30 AM

Press Cutting from the BBC News Quiz :-

Would the congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the church labelled 'for the sick'
is for monetary donations only. (Churchtown Parish Magazine)

OneShot · 11-19-05, 07:03 PM

Now that is one hell of a nice toilet

Bellman · 12-03-05, 02:52 AM

For those folk who enjoy the 'sauce' from time to time there is an infallible test as to whether you
should leave the car and hand over the keys.

It is a free test as to your inebriation and is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language:-

''The sixth sick shiek's sixth sheep's sick.''

So if you start seeing purple 'Lennies"- give it a roll.

Bellman · 12-03-05, 10:58 AM

Heres a 'Hot' shot (?) headline ...........................................in 02.

''Dung power station fires up''

Well I've heard about going 'Green' but heck..............' Brown' ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2135431.stm

Bellman · 12-10-05, 02:06 AM

Slip of the Fat Finger. The Times. 9/12.

'Feel fraternal sympathy with all who have ever suffered a senior moment of scrambled memory: namely
most of the poor, fuddled human race.

A trader on the Tokyo stock exchange was told to sell a single share in a company flotation for 600.000 yen
(about 3000 pounds.) Wires in the trader's head crossed, and he put through an order to sell 600,000 shares
at a yen each. It is the sort of slip that most of us cam make at algebra or Su Doka. Market dealers are
supposed to be better at sums than the rest of us. But they no longer shout face to face in a finger-waving,
self-correcting hubub. They sit tapping keyboards - and all who tap keyboards know that error is not only possible,
but inevitable. Fool-proof computer systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools.

As the insane bid flashed up on other screens it created shockwaves on the Tokyo exchange.
There was a deer-in-the-headlights effect, a carnage of stockselling. Until the culprit firm was named,
investors dumped shares of every brokerage firm, in case it had been responsible. Nearly 2% was lopped
from the value of the Nikkei 225 Index. The error cost an estimated 1.6 billion pounds.

To err is human. A Swiss banker leant on his keyboard while attempting the crossword, and bought
an oil company. It cost his bank 60,000 ponds

Such cock-ups are called 'fat fingers' in the trade.'

Kapitan · 12-10-05, 02:56 AM

i know the fat finger syndrome all to well

Etienne · 12-10-05, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bellman

Off topic - Pity airliners cant find a safer way to deal with frozen urine - many cases of shattered roofs - not very nice

Except airliners don't do that. For obvious reasons, they have sceptic tanks.

MARPOL does allow for the rejection of waste. I'm not a E/R guy so I don't know the specifics, but I know ocean going ships don't wait to pump out ashore. In the Lakes and in some special areas, of course, waste is retained onboard.

Heck, we can throw food overboard 3 miles offshore. I don't see why we would be able to throw s... overboard as well.

11-01-05, 01:46 AM	#31
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	BOT- Bilges - Rubbish. For those of us who take rubbish very, very seriously:- http://www.funny.co.uk/keywords/prop...ish-jokes.html The Mods please note there is a valuable and informative section on...................................''Fish'' __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

11-09-05, 12:05 PM	#32
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	A useful tool - Microsoft Calculator Plus. http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/d...displaylang=en __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

11-12-05, 01:59 AM	#33
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	Dr.Leakeys Anti-gas Beans. Mindfull of the ever present challenges to airconditioning technology in the latest submarines, I call your attention to a BBC contributor:- http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbtoday/F27...thread=1434169 Amazing the lengths to which scientists will go in pursuit of ''pure'' research. __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

11-16-05, 09:42 AM	#34
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	Broadly on topic - Sea Rescue A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The Times) Read or listen to more ' hilarious cuttings from their newspapers' sent in by listners. http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/n...cuttings.shtml __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

11-16-05, 10:09 AM	#35
Kapitan Sub Test Pilot Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: UK + Canada Posts: 7,130 Downloads: 77 Uploads: 7	lmfao :rotfl: __________________ DONT FORGET if you like a post to nominate it by using the blue diamond Find out about Museum Ships here: https://www.museumships.us/ Flickr for all my pictures: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131313936@N03/ Navy general board articles: https://www.navygeneralboard.com/author/aegis/

11-17-05, 02:05 AM	#36
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	Referring to the outcome of many of our DW battles, it is only proper that we consider the 'final' proceedings. It is reported that there is an increasing trend for 'Pop songs' to be played during funeral services. Tunes like "I did it my way'' are very popular and there is an increasing trend to "Hot, Hot, Hot Dance Songs '' at crematoriums. __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

11-19-05, 02:42 AM	#37
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	Back on topic. No serious student of the history and development of the technology of 'waste management' should be unaware of this leading edge firm :- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Crapper __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

11-19-05, 09:21 AM	#38
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	..........and for any fragrent ladies who may have wandered in here. Honey let me give you a bouqet of the 'Hyacinth' kind :- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honey_bucket Now come on -If Her Majesty does it, dont get uppity. __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

11-19-05, 09:30 AM	#39
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	Press Cutting from the BBC News Quiz :- Would the congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the church labelled 'for the sick' is for monetary donations only. (Churchtown Parish Magazine) __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

11-19-05, 07:03 PM	#40
OneShot Grey Wolf Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Germany Posts: 956 Downloads: 9 Uploads: 0	Now that is one hell of a nice toilet __________________ All the things you always wanted to know about Dangerous Waters but never dared to ask!

12-03-05, 02:52 AM	#41
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	For those folk who enjoy the 'sauce' from time to time there is an infallible test as to whether you should leave the car and hand over the keys. It is a free test as to your inebriation and is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language:- ''The sixth sick shiek's sixth sheep's sick.'' So if you start seeing purple 'Lennies"- give it a roll. __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

12-03-05, 10:58 AM	#42
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	Heres a 'Hot' shot (?) headline ...........................................in 02. ''Dung power station fires up'' Well I've heard about going 'Green' but heck..............' Brown' ? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2135431.stm __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

12-10-05, 02:06 AM	#43
Bellman Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,945 Downloads: 220 Uploads: 0	Slip of the Fat Finger. The Times. 9/12. 'Feel fraternal sympathy with all who have ever suffered a senior moment of scrambled memory: namely most of the poor, fuddled human race. A trader on the Tokyo stock exchange was told to sell a single share in a company flotation for 600.000 yen (about 3000 pounds.) Wires in the trader's head crossed, and he put through an order to sell 600,000 shares at a yen each. It is the sort of slip that most of us cam make at algebra or Su Doka. Market dealers are supposed to be better at sums than the rest of us. But they no longer shout face to face in a finger-waving, self-correcting hubub. They sit tapping keyboards - and all who tap keyboards know that error is not only possible, but inevitable. Fool-proof computer systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools. As the insane bid flashed up on other screens it created shockwaves on the Tokyo exchange. There was a deer-in-the-headlights effect, a carnage of stockselling. Until the culprit firm was named, investors dumped shares of every brokerage firm, in case it had been responsible. Nearly 2% was lopped from the value of the Nikkei 225 Index. The error cost an estimated 1.6 billion pounds. To err is human. A Swiss banker leant on his keyboard while attempting the crossword, and bought an oil company. It cost his bank 60,000 ponds Such cock-ups are called 'fat fingers' in the trade.' __________________ Liberty, Equality, Fraternity

12-10-05, 02:56 AM	#44
Kapitan Sub Test Pilot Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: UK + Canada Posts: 7,130 Downloads: 77 Uploads: 7	i know the fat finger syndrome all to well __________________ DONT FORGET if you like a post to nominate it by using the blue diamond Find out about Museum Ships here: https://www.museumships.us/ Flickr for all my pictures: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131313936@N03/ Navy general board articles: https://www.navygeneralboard.com/author/aegis/