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07-21-23, 12:08 PM | #4471 |
Chief of the Boat
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When my teenage son worked part time in a hardware store, a man came in to buy hooks for hanging plants. But there were only two hooks left in the gold color that he needed.
My son, trying to be helpful, suggested, “Could you maybe use the silver or the white instead?” The customer scrutinized him and said, “You’re not married, are you?”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-22-23, 03:05 AM | #4472 |
Ocean Warrior
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07-22-23, 05:12 AM | #4473 |
Chief of the Boat
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Dad loves to eat and does so with gusto—to the distress of my mother, who worries about his weight. One evening Dad was devouring a snack of cheese spread and crackers. As he scraped the last bit of spread from its container, he asked Mom if she wanted to save the jar.
“No, it’s okay,” Mom replied. “Go ahead and eat it.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-22-23, 05:29 AM | #4474 |
Fleet Admiral
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I tried to marry my Ex-wife again, but she said no
I guess she knew I was only wanting to marry her for my money
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
07-22-23, 07:02 AM | #4475 |
Chief of the Boat
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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-22-23, 07:43 AM | #4476 |
Fleet Admiral
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I don't see my wife and kids any more
And it is all due to my gambling. I won the lottery and I am on the beaches of Costa Rica!!!!!!!
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
07-22-23, 12:51 PM | #4477 |
Chief of the Boat
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Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-22-23, 04:49 PM | #4478 |
Fleet Admiral
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“I’ve a downloaded copy of Prince Harry’s book ‘Spare’. Do you wish to read it?”
“Is it a pdf file?” “Nope, that’s his uncle. A totally different Prince”
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
07-23-23, 05:41 AM | #4479 |
Chief of the Boat
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Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con… OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-24-23, 09:45 AM | #4480 |
Chief of the Boat
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Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-24-23, 10:01 AM | #4481 |
Chief of the Boat
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A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-24-23, 11:13 PM | #4482 |
Ocean Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,424
Downloads: 58
Uploads: 0
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A frog goes into Macdonalds and orders a Cheeseburger.
The Macdonalds workers says......... "Would you like flies with that?"
__________________
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07-25-23, 03:58 AM | #4483 |
Chief of the Boat
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Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-25-23, 07:02 AM | #4484 |
Chief of the Boat
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Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-25-23, 03:24 PM | #4485 |
Fleet Admiral
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I asked my wife to rate me on how good of a listener I was
She said "You're an eight on a scale of ten" Which confused me Why does she want me to pee on a skeleton?
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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