The joke thread II - Page 263

Jimbuna · 12-27-22, 08:59 AM

Q. What do you call a Mexican who’s been the victim of vehicle theft?

A. Carlos.

Jimbuna · 12-27-22, 09:00 AM

Accordion to research 9 out of 10 people are so dumb they don’t even notice when you replace a word with a musical instrument.

Jimbuna · 12-28-22, 08:13 AM

We gave our granddad the nickname ‘Spiderman’,

He hasn’t got any super powers, he just finds it difficult to get out of the bath.

Jimbuna · 12-28-22, 08:14 AM

What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts?

The Carroty Kid

Jimbuna · 12-29-22, 07:36 AM

My friend Gav died from heartburn this morning.

I can’t believe Gaviscon.

Jimbuna · 12-29-22, 07:38 AM

Made a taxi driver really angry tonight.

Told him to drive me home in reverse and now he owes me £16.20.

Jimbuna · 12-29-22, 12:15 PM

Got my wife a new bag and belt for Christmas.

Vacuum cleaner should be like new once she fits in the new parts.

Jimbuna · 12-30-22, 08:02 AM

I once went on a date with a girl and I had to tell her that she drew her eyebrows to high… she looked surprised.

Jimbuna · 12-30-22, 08:03 AM

Guy who owns my local cinema just died.

His funeral is on Monday at 12:10, 14:20 and 18:40.

Jimbuna · 12-30-22, 03:30 PM

Just finished my Christmas cards.

MasterCard and Visa are now maxed out.

magic452 · 12-31-22, 01:10 AM

I went into a Burger King today.
The woman serving had a badge on her left breast that said Pat.

To make a long story short

I am now banned from Burger King.

Magic

Jimbuna · 12-31-22, 06:54 AM

Dad: Hi son, what has 4 legs and doesn’t breathe?
Son: Haha you can’t fool me, it’s a chair!
Dad: No you’re wrong.. Our dog has died!

Jimbuna · 12-31-22, 06:54 AM

Took my mother-in-law out last night. Loving my new sniper rifle.

Platapus · 01-01-23, 07:26 AM

I recently visited my childhood home
I asked if I could come in and look around for old time's sake
They said no and slammed the door

My parents can be so rude!

Jimbuna · 01-01-23, 07:48 AM

My parents made a fortune from selling lamb chops.

They’re minted.

12-27-22, 08:59 AM	#3931
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q. What do you call a Mexican who’s been the victim of vehicle theft? A. Carlos. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-27-22, 09:00 AM	#3932
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Accordion to research 9 out of 10 people are so dumb they don’t even notice when you replace a word with a musical instrument. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-28-22, 08:13 AM	#3933
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	We gave our granddad the nickname ‘Spiderman’, He hasn’t got any super powers, he just finds it difficult to get out of the bath. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-28-22, 08:14 AM	#3934
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts? The Carroty Kid __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-29-22, 07:36 AM	#3935
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My friend Gav died from heartburn this morning. I can’t believe Gaviscon. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-29-22, 07:38 AM	#3936
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Made a taxi driver really angry tonight. Told him to drive me home in reverse and now he owes me £16.20. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-29-22, 12:15 PM	#3937
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Got my wife a new bag and belt for Christmas. Vacuum cleaner should be like new once she fits in the new parts. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-30-22, 08:02 AM	#3938
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I once went on a date with a girl and I had to tell her that she drew her eyebrows to high… she looked surprised. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-30-22, 08:03 AM	#3939
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Guy who owns my local cinema just died. His funeral is on Monday at 12:10, 14:20 and 18:40. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-30-22, 03:30 PM	#3940
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just finished my Christmas cards. MasterCard and Visa are now maxed out. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-31-22, 01:10 AM	#3941
magic452 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Reno Nevada USA Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	I went into a Burger King today. The woman serving had a badge on her left breast that said Pat. To make a long story short I am now banned from Burger King. Magic __________________ Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l

12-31-22, 06:54 AM	#3942
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Dad: Hi son, what has 4 legs and doesn’t breathe? Son: Haha you can’t fool me, it’s a chair! Dad: No you’re wrong.. Our dog has died! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-31-22, 06:54 AM	#3943
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Took my mother-in-law out last night. Loving my new sniper rifle. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-01-23, 07:26 AM	#3944
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,000 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I recently visited my childhood home I asked if I could come in and look around for old time's sake They said no and slammed the door My parents can be so rude! __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-01-23, 07:48 AM	#3945
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,900 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My parents made a fortune from selling lamb chops. They’re minted. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)