The joke thread II - Page 262

Jimbuna · 12-19-22, 06:54 AM

I went to the bookshop today to get a book about conspiracies and government control of the media but I couldn’t find anything. Coincidence?

Jimbuna · 12-19-22, 06:55 AM

Had a random drug test today at work and my results were negative. My dealer has got a lot of explaining to do.

Jimbuna · 12-20-22, 08:29 AM

Just invented an invisibility cloak. Everything you cover becomes invisible.
Unfortunately you can still see the cloak itself so further work is needed.

Jimbuna · 12-20-22, 08:36 AM

Just seen a man on a tractor shouting about the end of the world.

I think it was farmer Geddon.

Jimbuna · 12-21-22, 08:54 AM

The following conversation took place at bar

Customer: What’s the WiFi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Customer: Ok, I’ll have a coke.
Barman: $10 please.
Customer: There you go. So what’s the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase!

Jimbuna · 12-21-22, 08:56 AM

Scientific survey found out recently that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Jimbuna · 12-22-22, 07:58 AM

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

Jimbuna · 12-22-22, 07:59 AM

“Sorry, I reversed into your car. Loads of people saw me do it so I decided to leave you this note. They think I’m leaving you my name and address but I’m not. Good luck with the repairs.”

Jimbuna · 12-23-22, 01:23 PM

Really fed up with my new Thai bride!

She keeps leaving the toilet seat up!

Jimbuna · 12-23-22, 01:30 PM

The first ever tablet to download data from the cloud was actually invented by Moses in 1300 BC.

Ostfriese · 12-24-22, 12:43 AM

What's a typical 7 course meal in Ireland?

Six pints and a potato.

Jimbuna · 12-24-22, 09:11 AM

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: Yes!!
Boss: That’s good, because after you left early yesterday for your grandmother’s funeral she came into the office to see you.

Jimbuna · 12-24-22, 09:18 AM

Ladies please be careful when drinking tea. I found out last night that tea is more dangerous than alcohol. I came home at 4am after having 12 pints of beer and my wife who stayed at home drinking tea was really angry and violent.

Jimbuna · 12-26-22, 08:08 AM

Interesting Fact:

A shark will only attack you if you are wet.

Jimbuna · 12-26-22, 08:09 AM

Went to the zoo yesterday and saw a discarded baguette in the monkey enclosure.

It was bread in captivity.

12-19-22, 06:54 AM	#3916
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I went to the bookshop today to get a book about conspiracies and government control of the media but I couldn’t find anything. Coincidence? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-19-22, 06:55 AM	#3917
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Had a random drug test today at work and my results were negative. My dealer has got a lot of explaining to do. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-20-22, 08:29 AM	#3918
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just invented an invisibility cloak. Everything you cover becomes invisible. Unfortunately you can still see the cloak itself so further work is needed. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-20-22, 08:36 AM	#3919
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just seen a man on a tractor shouting about the end of the world. I think it was farmer Geddon. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-21-22, 08:54 AM	#3920
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The following conversation took place at bar Customer: What’s the WiFi password? Barman: You need to buy a drink first. Customer: Ok, I’ll have a coke. Barman: $10 please. Customer: There you go. So what’s the wifi password? Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-21-22, 08:56 AM	#3921
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Scientific survey found out recently that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-22-22, 07:58 AM	#3922
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-22-22, 07:59 AM	#3923
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	“Sorry, I reversed into your car. Loads of people saw me do it so I decided to leave you this note. They think I’m leaving you my name and address but I’m not. Good luck with the repairs.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-23-22, 01:23 PM	#3924
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Really fed up with my new Thai bride! She keeps leaving the toilet seat up! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-23-22, 01:30 PM	#3925
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The first ever tablet to download data from the cloud was actually invented by Moses in 1300 BC. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-24-22, 12:43 AM	#3926
Ostfriese Ace of the Deep Join Date: May 2004 Location: Northern Germany Posts: 1,178 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	What's a typical 7 course meal in Ireland? Six pints and a potato.

12-24-22, 09:11 AM	#3927
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: Yes!! Boss: That’s good, because after you left early yesterday for your grandmother’s funeral she came into the office to see you. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-24-22, 09:18 AM	#3928
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Ladies please be careful when drinking tea. I found out last night that tea is more dangerous than alcohol. I came home at 4am after having 12 pints of beer and my wife who stayed at home drinking tea was really angry and violent. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-26-22, 08:08 AM	#3929
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Interesting Fact: A shark will only attack you if you are wet. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-26-22, 08:09 AM	#3930
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,865 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Went to the zoo yesterday and saw a discarded baguette in the monkey enclosure. It was bread in captivity. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)