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SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
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#3226 |
Chief of the Boat
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Is there a better way to start your day than waking up in a loving embrace of another human being?
Unless you’re in prison, of course.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#3227 |
Chief of the Boat
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What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running, but can’t remember where.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#3228 |
Fleet Admiral
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Once a friend of mine went to mime school
We never heard from him again
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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#3229 |
Chief of the Boat
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Sparkly water was invented by the Germans. Who else would think of adding gas?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#3230 |
Chief of the Boat
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A guy asks, “How big do penguins get?”
His colleague says, “Not much bigger than 4 feet.” The guy scratches his head, “Ok, in that case I guess I ran over a nun on the way to work.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#3231 |
Chief of the Boat
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Patient: "Doctor! Doctor! Help me - I cannot feel my legs!"
Doctor: "Don’t panic, that’s perfectly normal. It’s because I amputated your arms!"
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#3232 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
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Caring for the environment..
The end of petrol and Diesel cars in the UK was scheduled for 2030. This has now been brought forward to wednesday.
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>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. |
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#3233 |
Chief of the Boat
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Congratulations on your 60th birthday! At last you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#3234 |
Fleet Admiral
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I just invented a new word
Plagiarism
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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#3235 |
Chief of the Boat
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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#3236 |
Fleet Admiral
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Every frozen corpse on Mount Everest was a highly motivated individual who tried to pursue his or her dream.
Something to consider.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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#3237 |
Chief of the Boat
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A patient talks to his doctor, “I really can't decide between having this operation or facing certain death without it…”
The doctor tries to help, “You know, with a bit of luck, you could have both.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#3238 |
Chief of the Boat
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Why did Lisa fall of the swing?
Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Well, not Lisa, that’s for sure.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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#3239 |
Fleet Admiral
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Me at 17 years old...
Me: Mom, I would like to introduce my new girl friend, Mary Mom: hmmph, you really could not do better than this? Me: Mom! That's rude! Mom: I was not talking to you, son. ![]()
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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#3240 |
Chief of the Boat
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I want a divorce!
But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part. I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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