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05-24-21, 06:40 AM | #3016 |
Fastest Gun Around
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Agua Fira, New Mexico
Posts: 2,367
Downloads: 527
Uploads: 5
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Son: “Dad, what was your favorite day as a soldier?”
Dad: “The first time I sent some private to find batteries for the chem lights.”
__________________
There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. — Colin Powell I'm not very active on the forums anymore. If you have a question, please DM me and I'll respond ASAP! |
05-24-21, 08:15 AM | #3017 |
Chief of the Boat
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Dentist warns his patient, “This might be a bit painful.”
Patient: “That’s OK, I’ll handle it.” The dentist sighs, “For a while now, I’ve been having an affair with your wife.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-24-21, 01:48 PM | #3018 |
Chief of the Boat
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Patient: Oh Doctor, I’m starting to forget things.
Doctor: Since when have you had this condition? Patient: What condition?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-25-21, 06:52 AM | #3019 |
Chief of the Boat
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A clairvoyant to a man, “I can see you are the father of 3 kids.”
The man smiles smugly, “No, I have 4 kids.” The clairvoyant, “That’s what you think.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-25-21, 01:46 PM | #3020 |
Chief of the Boat
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Wife, “Honey, soon there will be 3 of us here! Isn’t that great?”
Husband, “Oh darling, that is simply wonderful!!!” Wife, “I’m so happy you react that way! I did tell my mom you won’t mind her moving in!”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-25-21, 04:54 PM | #3021 |
Fleet Admiral
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Cat puns freak meowt
I'm not kitten
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
05-25-21, 05:01 PM | #3022 |
Fleet Admiral
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Yesterday, I had to put my cat down
She was really heavy and my arm started to get tired.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
05-26-21, 06:35 AM | #3023 |
Chief of the Boat
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Years ago, I threw away a boomerang really hard.
I’ve lived in constant fear since.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-26-21, 06:36 AM | #3024 |
Chief of the Boat
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I lent my girlfriend a lot of money for cosmetic surgery a while ago. I’ve been trying to get it back now for weeks.
Problem is, I’ve no idea what she looks like now.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-26-21, 09:37 PM | #3025 |
Fastest Gun Around
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Agua Fira, New Mexico
Posts: 2,367
Downloads: 527
Uploads: 5
|
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for thirty seconds though, and only once
__________________
There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. — Colin Powell I'm not very active on the forums anymore. If you have a question, please DM me and I'll respond ASAP! |
05-27-21, 03:53 AM | #3026 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
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^ So mean
"My Twins are six months now. Never been vaccinated and never been sick!" If you're looking for faster results you can always let the car seats unbuckled while driving.
__________________
>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. |
05-27-21, 08:19 AM | #3027 |
Chief of the Boat
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On a mountain trip a man falls down into a crack. His wife calls after him, “Are you OK?”
“Yeah!” “Are you hurt?” “No!” “Not a scratch? How come?!“ “I’m not done falling yet-et-et-et-et!”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-27-21, 10:02 AM | #3028 |
Chief of the Boat
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Policeman: I'm very sorry, sir, but it looks like your wife got hit by a bus.
Man: I’m aware of that, but Karen has a wonderful personality.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-28-21, 08:05 AM | #3029 |
Chief of the Boat
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Where do we get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-28-21, 04:42 PM | #3030 |
Fleet Admiral
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Did you ever think that our farts may be just the ghosts of the animals we eat, escaping?
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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