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07-28-18, 04:58 AM | #286 |
Seasoned Skipper
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Right by the hydrophone station
Posts: 724
Downloads: 96
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I found my first Grey pubic hair today and I was shocked, although not as shocked as the other passengers on the bus.
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07-28-18, 07:30 AM | #287 |
Chief of the Boat
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Can’t believe how much doctors lie. Last year I went to hospital to get a vasectomy to stop my wife getting pregnant but it turns out all it does is change the colour of the baby.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-29-18, 05:11 AM | #288 |
Chief of the Boat
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Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
Two minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-30-18, 10:13 AM | #289 |
Chief of the Boat
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I never have any luck with women. The other day my girlfriend won a trip for 2 to Las Vegas, she went there twice on her own.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-30-18, 10:30 AM | #290 |
Sea Lord
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,668
Downloads: 30
Uploads: 0
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My girlfriend told me she wanted something that would go from 0 to 200 in 1 second. Got her a bathroom scale and she punched my lights out. What gives?
My girlfriend asked "do I look fat in this dress?", I sad "yes" and she punched my teeth down a floor. What gives? |
07-30-18, 12:32 PM | #291 |
Lucky Jack
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"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?" "Please, Father! I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "Four months vacation and five good leads..."
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“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road |
07-30-18, 06:17 PM | #292 |
Fleet Admiral
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I broke up with my Girlfriend because of religious differences
She thought she was a goddess I didn't
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
07-31-18, 08:40 AM | #293 |
Chief of the Boat
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Got in trouble last night after I went on a date but didn’t open the car door for the lady I was with. To my shame I decided to just swim to the surface and save myself.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-31-18, 11:13 AM | #294 |
Sea Lord
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,668
Downloads: 30
Uploads: 0
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My wife always stands by my side. No way am I spending money on another chair.
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07-31-18, 04:03 PM | #295 |
Machinist's Mate
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Usually in the past....
Posts: 121
Downloads: 144
Uploads: 0
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08-01-18, 07:23 AM | #296 |
Chief of the Boat
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A recent study has found that women who carry a bit of extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-01-18, 10:18 AM | #297 |
Chief of the Boat
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Really satisfied my wife in bed last night. I slept on the sofa.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-01-18, 05:44 PM | #298 |
Fleet Admiral
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My wife likes to talk dirty to me during sex
Last night she called from her hotel room R Dangerfield
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
08-02-18, 07:05 AM | #299 |
Chief of the Boat
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Got stopped by a women in the street today. She said “Excuse me sir, have you had an accident in the last 3 years that wasn’t your fault? I said, “Yes, she’s nearly 3 now.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-02-18, 08:40 AM | #300 |
Chief of the Boat
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When me and my wife have arguments I always have the last word. Usually those words are ‘Sorry, you’re right’.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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