Radioactive products people actually used..

[TLAM Strike]

Originally Posted by Platapus

Uranium Ore (ultra high radiation level)

Over 51,000 CPM

Yeah!!!


Sold out! WAAAaaaaaaaaa Not fair Not fair!!!

The Uranium is back in stock...


... and on this day the Subsim nuclear bomb project was begun...

[Rhodes]

Do you want some? One vase of my balcony only has uranium minerals, I can spare some.

PS: No, I am not joking!

Certainly some one else has made this observation.

Those who serve in nuclear submarines are exposed to less radiation than those living on God's surface.

The earth generally emits a certain amount of natural radiation which submariners are not subject to, and protected from, by existing under water (a natural shield).

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by TLAM Strike

We are lucky in this day and age with the Internet and all, when I was growing up we had to buy our nuclear material from some Russian dude on the street...

Amazon has uranium ore for $39.95, and it's in stock.

http://www.amazon.com/Uranium-Ore/dp...1130594&sr=8-1

This is one of those awesome Amazon product pages that is worth looking at just to read the comments:

Now as for the uranium its self, I was using it for an at home science experiment I had seen on the internet in which you use the uranium, along with several car batteries, solar panels, water tank, steam collection tank, fans and presto, you have an at home nuclear reactor to power your entire house and live fully off the grid! I followed the instructions to a T and found that when I first powered on my at home reactor all was well. I had created my project in a tool shed at the back of my property as had been recommended in the instructions to keep separate from the home. With the system up and running I left it to work and went inside my home to enjoy my new free energy home. All was going well for several days until the living dead began to wake from the adjacent cemetery at the back of my property. Apparently the latent radiation from the uranium, and the by products from my home fusion reactor (which I was draining into the cemetery) can have the side effect of causing the dead to rise. No worries though, it wasn't like in the movies, they were very decomposed and slow, and with only a few quick blows from a shovel then were put down.

Uranium ore is process intensive. I suggest forgoing this product and buying the yellow cake instead. I understand Iraq has a large quantity for sale, at reasonable prices. Don't tell the USA, they are still looking for it. They will never think to look on Amazon.

I started using this as a spice a few months ago for many of the foods that I cook for my family. Aside from the terrible taste of my food and the larger number of casualties, I highly recommend this product to anyone who shares a little problem with me. You see, the lights are always out at night in my house and I always have to pee at night. My wife would always complain about the urine all over the place in the morning. Now, my pee glows in the dark! Say good-bye to wet-sticky toilet seats in dark bathrooms America! A much higher percentage of my urine enters the toilet now.

I bought this product because I heard from my Native American friends that it promotes vivid dreams. I have used it under my pillow for three weeks and no luck so far, though most of my hair has fallen out and my teeth are loose.

Do not be fooled by this product. I bought this along with four terrapins and a rat (since I couldnt lay my hands on a warthog and a rhino). I rubbed this product into my skin and gums then rolled around with the terrapins and the rat. Long story short I did NOT end up with my own crime-fighting mutant superhero team. The rat bit me and I crushed the terrapins. Also I now have a strange rash and I'm coughing up blood, whats up with that?

My neighbor bought a new TV recently - Samsung PN58C7000 58-Inch 1080p 3D Plasma HDTV (Black) - and he's been lording it over me ever since. Once I figure out how to weaponize this stuff we'll see if he looks so smug.

Ok so I bought this the other day and it came in the mail today. I then uploaded a video and sent the link to the French. Within the hour they have surrendered. Thank you Uranium Ore I now have my own country to run.

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.

[TLAM Strike]

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

Amazon has uranium ore for $39.95, and it's in stock.

http://www.amazon.com/Uranium-Ore/dp...1130594&sr=8-1

This is one of those awesome Amazon product pages that is worth looking at just to read the comments:

Whats even more funny?

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought:

The Making of the Atomic Bomb by Richard Rhodes
^OK this guy is going to be visited by the FBI...

Die Hard Collection (Die Hard/ Die Hard 2:... Blu-ray ~ Bruce Willis
^This cannot end well...

Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz
^Uranium... it does a body good!

Red Hot Chili Peppers Socks 24X36 Poster
^Now I'm just confused...

My neighbor bought a new TV recently - Samsung PN58C7000 58-Inch 1080p 3D Plasma HDTV (Black) - and he's been lording it over me ever since. Once I figure out how to weaponize this stuff we'll see if he looks so smug.

If you can't weaponize this stuff you are too stupid to buy it. Serrously just grind in to powder, insert in to pipe bomb and detonate in public area. Then turn on CNN and enjoy the chaos.

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by TLAM Strike

Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz

Go look at the reviews on this one. It's a longstanding running gag among Amazon reviewers, that's why it shows up on the list you quoted.

Here's one:

He always brought home milk on Friday.

After a long hard week full of days he would burst through the door, his fatigue hidden behind a smile. There was an icy jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz in his right hand. With his left hand he would grip my waist - I was always cooking dinner - and press the cold frostiness of the jug against my arm as he kissed my cheek. I would jump, mostly to gratify him after a time, and smile lovingly at him. He was a good man, a wonderful husband who always brought the milk on Friday, Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz.

Then there was that Friday, the terrible Friday that would ruin every Friday for the rest of my life. The door opened, but there was no bouyant greeting - no cold jug against the back of my arm. There was no Tuscan Whole Milk in his right hand, nor his left. There came no kiss. I watched as he sat down in a kitchen chair to remove his shoes. He wore no fatigue, but also no smile. I didn't speak, but turned back to the beans I had been stirring. I stirred until most of their little shrivelled skins floated to the surface of the cloudy water. Something was wrong, but it was vague wrongness that no amount of hard thought could give shape to.

Over dinner that night I casually inserted, "What happened to the milk?"
"Oh," he smiled sheepishly, glancing aside," I guess I forgot today."

That was when I knew. He was tired of this life with me, tired of bringing home the Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz. He was probably shoveling funds into a secret bank account, looking at apartments in town, casting furtive glances at cashiers and secretaries and waitresses. That's when I knew it was over. Some time later he moved in with a cashier from the Food Mart down the street. And me? Well, I've gone soy.

THEN go read the reviews for The Mountain Men's Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee:

http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three...ref=pd_sim_a_1

Guaranteed to make you get women, and fly.

[Betonov]

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.

love the jokes that actually make you think

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by Betonov

love the jokes that actually make you think

I know, the first time I stumbled on that page - via a link from Consumerist, I think - I had to scroll down to see if there were actually reviews for the product. That was the very first one. I'm just glad I wasn't taking a sip of something or I would've done a spit-take.

[krashkart]

I came back, I saw, I lollerskated.

[nikimcbee]

radioactive suppositories made men believe that they could be transformed from ‘weak discouraged men’ into strong, heroic males that would ‘bubble over with joyous vitality’

That explains why Jim was so happy.

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by nikimcbee

That explains why Jim was so happy.

Not to mention his youthful glow!

Edit: and possibly also this:

[ajrimmer42]

hah, brilliant, all reminds me of something like off Fallout 3 or Bioshock!

[Weiss Pinguin]

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and
when I opened it today, it was half empty.

my favorite

[Platapus]

Originally Posted by Weiss Pinguin

Quote:
I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and
when I opened it today, it was half empty.
my favorite

product is shipped by weight, some settling of the product can be expected.

I wonder if I will get into trouble if I order a lot of Uranium and insist that it all be shipped in one container to save shipping...tightly packed?

[TLAM Strike]

Originally Posted by Platapus

product is shipped by weight, some settling of the product can be expected.

I wonder if I will get into trouble if I order a lot of Uranium and insist that it all be shipped in one container to save shipping...tightly packed?

I wonder how much Uraninite you would need to reach criticaity?