A humo(u)r Thread Just For Dowly - Page 2

Jimbuna · 04-22-09, 06:14 AM

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on tantric sex.

“We ordered it six months ago”, said the librarian. “But it’s taking a long time coming.”

AVGWarhawk · 04-22-09, 01:00 PM

AVGWarhawk · 04-22-09, 01:10 PM

The Ferret

A guy walks into a bar and sees another guy sitting with a ferret. The guy seems to be stroking it rather lovingly. The first guy asks him, 'Why are you stroking that ferret?
He replies, 'Well my friend, the ferret gives the best head in the world. 'Bull****, theres no way a ferret can do that.'
'Go try yourself.'
So the first guy takes the ferret and goes into the bathroom. A few minutes pass and suddenly there's banging and moaning and screaming coming from the bathroom. The first guy comes out, stroking the ferret lovingly and looks at the second guy. 'I will give you $1000, for this ferret.'
The second guy thinks about it for a little while and then nods. 'Alright, a thousand dollars it is.'
The guy takes the ferret home. He places it on the table in front of his wife and tells her the story. She looks at him in amazement, 'What am I supposed to do with a $1000 ferret?', she asks.

'Teach it to cook and get the hell out!'

Jimbuna · 04-22-09, 01:43 PM

Anyone tried the Chinese version of "where's Wally?"

F**king impossible!!

nikimcbee · 04-23-09, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Anyone tried the Chinese version of "where's Wally?"

F**king impossible!!

nikimcbee · 04-23-09, 01:36 AM

just for Dowly's sig!

Dowly · 04-23-09, 04:16 AM

Jimbuna · 04-23-09, 05:46 AM

10% of women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of women favour nudity.
45% of women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of women experienced anal sex.
70% of women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

nikimcbee · 04-23-09, 10:05 PM

favorite prank!

Dowly · 04-24-09, 04:05 AM

Old and posted trillion times, but just cant help but laugh everytime I see this.

Kratos · 04-24-09, 05:20 AM

This is the proper way to fart

HunterICX · 04-24-09, 05:21 AM

HunterICX

Dowly · 04-24-09, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kratos

This is the proper way to fart

Haha!

AVGWarhawk · 04-24-09, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kratos

This is the proper way to fart

Commonly known as 'The Dutch Oven"

Jimbuna · 04-24-09, 01:56 PM

04-22-09, 06:14 AM	#16
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A man walked into a library and asked for a book on tantric sex. “We ordered it six months ago”, said the librarian. “But it’s taking a long time coming.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-22-09, 01:00 PM	#17
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,253 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	__________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

04-22-09, 01:10 PM	#18
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,253 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	The Ferret A guy walks into a bar and sees another guy sitting with a ferret. The guy seems to be stroking it rather lovingly. The first guy asks him, 'Why are you stroking that ferret? He replies, 'Well my friend, the ferret gives the best head in the world. 'Bull****, theres no way a ferret can do that.' 'Go try yourself.' So the first guy takes the ferret and goes into the bathroom. A few minutes pass and suddenly there's banging and moaning and screaming coming from the bathroom. The first guy comes out, stroking the ferret lovingly and looks at the second guy. 'I will give you $1000, for this ferret.' The second guy thinks about it for a little while and then nods. 'Alright, a thousand dollars it is.' The guy takes the ferret home. He places it on the table in front of his wife and tells her the story. She looks at him in amazement, 'What am I supposed to do with a $1000 ferret?', she asks. 'Teach it to cook and get the hell out!' __________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

04-22-09, 01:43 PM	#19
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Anyone tried the Chinese version of "where's Wally?" Fking impossible!! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!**

04-23-09, 01:36 AM	#21
nikimcbee Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Patroling the Slot. Posts: 17,952 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	just for Dowly's sig! __________________

04-23-09, 04:16 AM	#22
Dowly Lucky Jack Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 25,052 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0

04-23-09, 05:46 AM	#23
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	10% of women had sex within the first hour of their first date. 20% of men had sex in a non-traditional place. 36% of women favour nudity. 45% of women prefer dark men with blue eyes. 46% of women experienced anal sex. 70% of women prefer sex in the morning. 80% of men have never experienced homosexual relations. 90% of women would like to have sex in the forest. 99% of women have never experienced sex in the office. Conclusion: Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day. Moral: Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

04-23-09, 10:05 PM	#24
nikimcbee Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Patroling the Slot. Posts: 17,952 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	favorite prank! __________________

04-24-09, 04:05 AM	#25
Dowly Lucky Jack Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Finland Posts: 25,052 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	Old and posted trillion times, but just cant help but laugh everytime I see this.

04-24-09, 05:20 AM	#26
Kratos Ace of the Deep Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,267 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	This is the proper way to fart __________________

04-24-09, 05:21 AM	#27
HunterICX Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2006 Location: Malaga, España Posts: 10,750 Downloads: 8 Uploads: 0	HunterICX __________________

04-24-09, 01:56 PM	#30
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!