Tasars... A Word To The Wise - Page 2

CCIP · 03-04-08, 04:26 PM

When I was in grade 2, I decided to stick a paperclip into an electric outlet.

You can guess what happened

Blacklight · 03-04-08, 04:50 PM

Let's see...
Swan dives off the roof of my two story house onto a dirt pile..

My friends and I tossing fireworks at each other... like cherry bombs..

Taking model rocket engines, gluing fins to them and just putting a nose cone on them and lighting them...(You never knew what direction they would go)

Covering my arm with lighter fluid and then lighting it...

Riding my bike down the two story staircase from the back of my house...

Riding my bike down a huge pile of excavated dirt from a construction site with no brakes..

Trying to jump said bike off a 4 foot wall (and this was back in the 70's when bikes weren't meant to do that)...

..and there's a LOT MORE to this list.
Thankfully me and my friends never built that submarine out of old metal drums we had found (And we spent MONTHS working on the design for it. We could figure out how to make it go down, but not how to make it go up). If we had made the submarine, I or one of my friends wouldn't be here today because of course we had no concept of water pressure.

Yes.. I probably shouldn't be alive today.

Skybird · 03-04-08, 05:31 PM

What an idiot. Imagine how it would have ended if he would have bought a gun. Reminds me of a story that won a Darwin Award (to be found at their website). Police one day found a young man stabbed to death, but no sign of attackers. It was cleard up like this: his mother had bought him a protective jacket due to the many knifes and violence incident at his school. when she left the house the young man must have taken on that jacket, got a knife and tested how well protected he was.

Thanks for improving the human genome by removing your genes from it.

But in the mid 80s, in the last year at school, I used to distribute newspaper during vacation. There was this big shepard dog that I needed deal with when passing a compund to get to the paper box of one house, ironically near a church, this holy house of love and friendiness - just that nobody had told that dog. It always commenced fake attacks on me, but one day it all went too far and it was no fake anymore, so I released a full broadside of CS gas into it's face. What do you think the dog did? No kidding: it did not balk and did not run away - it immediately fell like a cut tree, like a pancake falling out of the window and landing on the pavement with a satisfying loud "SPLAT!", it then laid flat on the ground and covered eyes and nose with both front legs, as if wanting to play some doggy game. It looked ricidulous. when I passed it two minutes later on my way out, it still laid like this, making some strange yowling sounds.

Never needed to gas it again - just moving my hand to the pocket of my trousers made it run away. Would have expected another reaction from a CS-treated dog, though, some hectic running around and loud noise, or so...

Blacklight · 03-04-08, 05:38 PM

The Darwin Award site is funny. It's too bad that 99% of the Darwin Awards go to made up stories and wives tales. Call me sick but I wish that most of those incidents really occured because it makes me feel smarter.

XabbaRus · 03-04-08, 05:39 PM

That reminds me of when I was 16 and we had the new gas hob installed it had teh electronic ignition thing, you know the button you push to make a spark and light the gas. WEll I figured it can't be THAT much forgetting that the thing is wired into a standard UK 240V circuit so I put on finger on said sparking terminal and hit the switch with my other finger. Very odd...Thankfully the switch was springloaded.

bookworm_020 · 03-04-08, 07:37 PM

Thanks for the laugh,

have sent it on to my wife. At least I'm safe Tazers are ileagal here in Australia!

FIREWALL · 03-05-08, 11:30 AM

I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

A good laugh daily is good for the soul.

Tchocky · 03-05-08, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Letum

Want to paste strangely formatted text into the subsim forums?

First paste it into notepad, then copy it again and paste it in to the forum!

We are all equal before the Mighty NotePad

Rockstar · 03-05-08, 12:41 PM

That was such a great story!

I was in the public library when I read this I laughed so hard and loud. Many curious patrons came over and enjoyed it in much the same way!

Truly a classic :rotfl:

03-04-08, 04:26 PM	#16
CCIP Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Waterloo, Canada Posts: 8,700 Downloads: 29 Uploads: 2	When I was in grade 2, I decided to stick a paperclip into an electric outlet. You can guess what happened __________________ There are only forty people in the world and five of them are hamburgers. -Don Van Vliet (aka Captain Beefheart)

03-04-08, 04:50 PM	#17
Blacklight Ocean Warrior Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Connecticut Posts: 2,507 Downloads: 145 Uploads: 0	Let's see... Swan dives off the roof of my two story house onto a dirt pile.. My friends and I tossing fireworks at each other... like cherry bombs.. Taking model rocket engines, gluing fins to them and just putting a nose cone on them and lighting them...(You never knew what direction they would go) Covering my arm with lighter fluid and then lighting it... Riding my bike down the two story staircase from the back of my house... Riding my bike down a huge pile of excavated dirt from a construction site with no brakes.. Trying to jump said bike off a 4 foot wall (and this was back in the 70's when bikes weren't meant to do that)... ..and there's a LOT MORE to this list. Thankfully me and my friends never built that submarine out of old metal drums we had found (And we spent MONTHS working on the design for it. We could figure out how to make it go down, but not how to make it go up). If we had made the submarine, I or one of my friends wouldn't be here today because of course we had no concept of water pressure. Yes.. I probably shouldn't be alive today. __________________ Be my friend or be a mushroom cloud. "I am coming at you. You will explode in a couple of minutes !"

03-04-08, 05:31 PM	#18
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 42,636 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	What an idiot. Imagine how it would have ended if he would have bought a gun. Reminds me of a story that won a Darwin Award (to be found at their website). Police one day found a young man stabbed to death, but no sign of attackers. It was cleard up like this: his mother had bought him a protective jacket due to the many knifes and violence incident at his school. when she left the house the young man must have taken on that jacket, got a knife and tested how well protected he was. Thanks for improving the human genome by removing your genes from it. But in the mid 80s, in the last year at school, I used to distribute newspaper during vacation. There was this big shepard dog that I needed deal with when passing a compund to get to the paper box of one house, ironically near a church, this holy house of love and friendiness - just that nobody had told that dog. It always commenced fake attacks on me, but one day it all went too far and it was no fake anymore, so I released a full broadside of CS gas into it's face. What do you think the dog did? No kidding: it did not balk and did not run away - it immediately fell like a cut tree, like a pancake falling out of the window and landing on the pavement with a satisfying loud "SPLAT!", it then laid flat on the ground and covered eyes and nose with both front legs, as if wanting to play some doggy game. It looked ricidulous. when I passed it two minutes later on my way out, it still laid like this, making some strange yowling sounds. Never needed to gas it again - just moving my hand to the pocket of my trousers made it run away. Would have expected another reaction from a CS-treated dog, though, some hectic running around and loud noise, or so... __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert. Last edited by Skybird; 03-04-08 at 05:42 PM.

03-04-08, 05:38 PM	#19
Blacklight Ocean Warrior Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Connecticut Posts: 2,507 Downloads: 145 Uploads: 0	The Darwin Award site is funny. It's too bad that 99% of the Darwin Awards go to made up stories and wives tales. Call me sick but I wish that most of those incidents really occured because it makes me feel smarter. __________________ Be my friend or be a mushroom cloud. "I am coming at you. You will explode in a couple of minutes !"

03-04-08, 05:39 PM	#20
XabbaRus Navy Seal Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 5,330 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	That reminds me of when I was 16 and we had the new gas hob installed it had teh electronic ignition thing, you know the button you push to make a spark and light the gas. WEll I figured it can't be THAT much forgetting that the thing is wired into a standard UK 240V circuit so I put on finger on said sparking terminal and hit the switch with my other finger. Very odd...Thankfully the switch was springloaded. __________________

03-04-08, 07:37 PM	#21
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Thanks for the laugh, have sent it on to my wife. At least I'm safe Tazers are ileagal here in Australia! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

03-05-08, 11:30 AM	#22
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	I'm glad you all enjoyed it. A good laugh daily is good for the soul. __________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

03-05-08, 12:41 PM	#24
Rockstar In the Brig Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Zendia Bar & Grill Posts: 12,614 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	That was such a great story! I was in the public library when I read this I laughed so hard and loud. Many curious patrons came over and enjoyed it in much the same way! Truly a classic :rotfl: