The joke thread II - Page 185

Jimbuna · 02-19-21, 10:54 AM

Why won’t skeletons fight each other?

They just don’t have the guts.

Jimbuna · 02-19-21, 10:57 AM

Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?”

Platapus · 02-19-21, 05:12 PM

I twisted my ankle while digging for gold
It was a miner injury

Jimbuna · 02-20-21, 10:05 AM

On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?”
Another responded, “Wait till they’re asleep.”

Jimbuna · 02-20-21, 10:06 AM

A snail named Samuel just got a raise working as a realtor. He decided since he got this money he will get a custom sports car with a big "S" on the side to show everyone the car is his. While he's flexing his new car down the streets of Los Angeles, he passes an elderly couple sitting on their porch. As he passes the man exclaims to his wife, " Look at that S-Car-Go!"

Platapus · 02-20-21, 10:58 AM

When I picked up my Chinese food take out, there was no cookie
It was unfortunate

Jimbuna · 02-21-21, 06:49 AM

A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas. It was a disaster. The offspring were the laughing stock of the community!

Platapus · 02-21-21, 06:57 AM

My doctor said that I had to lose 200 Pounds for my health and general well being.

I took his advice. My divorce becomes final next month

Jimbuna · 02-21-21, 07:25 AM

Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

A: An Investigator!

Jimbuna · 02-22-21, 01:01 PM

What happened when the frog's car broke down on the side of the road?

A: It gets toad away.

Jimbuna · 02-22-21, 01:02 PM

Q: What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?

A: A flea market!

Jimbuna · 02-23-21, 06:14 AM

Hippo 1: You look like you’re gaining weight.

Hippo 2: That’s very hippo-critical of you.

Jimbuna · 02-23-21, 06:16 AM

Q. What did the sleepy Australian bear say at the job interview?

A. "I believe I am koala-fied for this position."

Platapus · 02-23-21, 04:44 PM

I went to a multi-cultural restaurant and asked for an Italian Salad with some Ethiopian Bread

The waiter refused to bring my order, claiming that it would be adding Insalate to Injera

Von Due · 02-23-21, 04:57 PM

I had a duck burger. It was delicious but the bill didn't go down well.

02-19-21, 10:54 AM	#2761
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why won’t skeletons fight each other? They just don’t have the guts. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-19-21, 10:57 AM	#2762
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-19-21, 05:12 PM	#2763
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,438 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I twisted my ankle while digging for gold It was a miner injury __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-20-21, 10:05 AM	#2764
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	On a Facebook page for beginning artists, one asked, “Any suggestions for painting dogs?” Another responded, “Wait till they’re asleep.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-20-21, 10:06 AM	#2765
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A snail named Samuel just got a raise working as a realtor. He decided since he got this money he will get a custom sports car with a big "S" on the side to show everyone the car is his. While he's flexing his new car down the streets of Los Angeles, he passes an elderly couple sitting on their porch. As he passes the man exclaims to his wife, " Look at that S-Car-Go!" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-20-21, 10:58 AM	#2766
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,438 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	When I picked up my Chinese food take out, there was no cookie It was unfortunate __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-21-21, 06:49 AM	#2767
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas. It was a disaster. The offspring were the laughing stock of the community! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-21-21, 06:57 AM	#2768
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,438 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My doctor said that I had to lose 200 Pounds for my health and general well being. I took his advice. My divorce becomes final next month __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-21-21, 07:25 AM	#2769
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? A: An Investigator! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-22-21, 01:01 PM	#2770
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What happened when the frog's car broke down on the side of the road? A: It gets toad away. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-22-21, 01:02 PM	#2771
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What type of market should you NEVER take your dog? A: A flea market! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-23-21, 06:14 AM	#2772
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Hippo 1: You look like you’re gaining weight. Hippo 2: That’s very hippo-critical of you. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-23-21, 06:16 AM	#2773
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,403 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q. What did the sleepy Australian bear say at the job interview? A. "I believe I am koala-fied for this position." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

02-23-21, 04:44 PM	#2774
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,438 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I went to a multi-cultural restaurant and asked for an Italian Salad with some Ethiopian Bread The waiter refused to bring my order, claiming that it would be adding Insalate to Injera __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-23-21, 04:57 PM	#2775
Von Due Sea Lord Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 1,691 Downloads: 30 Uploads: 0	I had a duck burger. It was delicious but the bill didn't go down well.