The joke thread - Page 180

Jimbuna · 11-29-12, 12:31 PM

A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned up.

The DJ said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you
have to do is answer the following question correctly, to
win our grand prize."

"That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.

"Feel confident?" she asked. "It's a maths question."

"Well, I've got a Masters in maths and am damn good at it," I
proudly replied.

"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a "Justin Beiber's" concert and to meet him back stage. What is 2+2?"

I replied, "7"

BossMark · 11-30-12, 05:13 AM

I'm so excited.

Only three more Chelsea managers till Christmas!

Jimbuna · 11-30-12, 11:21 AM

As a man grows older, hair grows in places you don't want it to grow. It grows out of your ears. Down your back. On your wife's chin.

BossMark · 12-01-12, 03:01 AM

Fair play to Freddie Flintoff for trying a sport he's not a natural at. And good luck Andy Carroll who will be doing the same for West ham.

Jimbuna · 12-01-12, 09:20 AM

Did you hear about the two irish men that broke into William Hill?

By the time the police arrived, they we're £50 down.

BossMark · 12-01-12, 09:24 AM

Chelsea have named their new management team for next season.

Roger over and out.

Jimbuna · 12-01-12, 09:49 AM

Rafa Benitez has just been named Manager Of the Month by Liverpool fans

Jimbuna · 12-01-12, 11:18 AM

When the taxi driver dropped Rafa Benitez off for his first day at Chelsea.....

I bet he left the meter running.

BossMark · 12-01-12, 12:49 PM

My Irish mate went to the bookies and put £1000 on the world ending on 21st December.

He tells me that if he's right he will win £25,000.

Jimbuna · 12-01-12, 12:53 PM

I wonder how Wayne Rooney will go for Man Utd today, as it's common knowledge he has trouble with Reading.

BossMark · 12-01-12, 01:06 PM

I saw this sexy young lady at the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

I said "Hey gorgeous, do I come here often?"

Jimbuna · 12-01-12, 04:55 PM

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas.

"Something that buzzes and is guaranteed to drive me crazy" she replied.

So I bought her a pet mosquito.

BossMark · 12-02-12, 12:43 AM

Arsene Wenger is a great manager.

Just ask Barcelona's Fabregas, Man City's Nasri or Man United's Van Persie.

Jimbuna · 12-02-12, 08:40 AM

I was reading an article today about an Indonesian man, whose best friend is a 27-stone Mulan tiger which he has raised from birth.

That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, until you end up tiger meat.

BossMark · 12-02-12, 03:12 PM

Our area experienced some pretty freak weather today.

We actually saw some bloody sun.

11-29-12, 12:31 PM	#2686
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,414 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned up. The DJ said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize." "That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight. "Feel confident?" she asked. "It's a maths question." "Well, I've got a Masters in maths and am damn good at it," I proudly replied. "Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a "Justin Beiber's" concert and to meet him back stage. What is 2+2?" I replied, "7" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-30-12, 05:13 AM	#2687
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	I'm so excited. Only three more Chelsea managers till Christmas! __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

11-30-12, 11:21 AM	#2688
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,414 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	As a man grows older, hair grows in places you don't want it to grow. It grows out of your ears. Down your back. On your wife's chin. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-01-12, 03:01 AM	#2689
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	Fair play to Freddie Flintoff for trying a sport he's not a natural at. And good luck Andy Carroll who will be doing the same for West ham. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-01-12, 09:20 AM	#2690
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,414 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the two irish men that broke into William Hill? By the time the police arrived, they we're £50 down. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-01-12, 09:24 AM	#2691
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	Chelsea have named their new management team for next season. Roger over and out. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-01-12, 09:49 AM	#2692
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,414 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Rafa Benitez has just been named Manager Of the Month by Liverpool fans __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-01-12, 11:18 AM	#2693
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,414 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	When the taxi driver dropped Rafa Benitez off for his first day at Chelsea..... I bet he left the meter running. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-01-12, 12:49 PM	#2694
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	My Irish mate went to the bookies and put £1000 on the world ending on 21st December. He tells me that if he's right he will win £25,000. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-01-12, 12:53 PM	#2695
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,414 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I wonder how Wayne Rooney will go for Man Utd today, as it's common knowledge he has trouble with Reading. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-01-12, 01:06 PM	#2696
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	I saw this sexy young lady at the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I said "Hey gorgeous, do I come here often?" __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-01-12, 04:55 PM	#2697
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,414 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. "Something that buzzes and is guaranteed to drive me crazy" she replied. So I bought her a pet mosquito. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-02-12, 12:43 AM	#2698
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	Arsene Wenger is a great manager. Just ask Barcelona's Fabregas, Man City's Nasri or Man United's Van Persie. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

12-02-12, 08:40 AM	#2699
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,414 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I was reading an article today about an Indonesian man, whose best friend is a 27-stone Mulan tiger which he has raised from birth. That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, until you end up tiger meat. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-02-12, 03:12 PM	#2700
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	Our area experienced some pretty freak weather today. We actually saw some bloody sun. __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now