The joke thread II - Page 147

Jimbuna · 08-16-20, 12:44 PM

Lost my internet connection last night and couldn’t use Facebook. I had to spend 4 hours calling 247 of my friends to tell them ‘I hate work, I’m having a glass of wine before going to bed, lol’.

Jimbuna · 08-17-20, 07:49 AM

I’m going through a divorce at the moment and my wife told me she is going to make sure that my bank balance is £0…
That’s nice of her, paying off my debts.

Jimbuna · 08-17-20, 07:50 AM

I don’t understand Christians. They say that gambling is wrong, then bet their entire life on heaven being real.

Jimbuna · 08-18-20, 12:51 PM

Anyone want some coconut shampoo? I bought some the other day but I don’t have any coconuts.

Jimbuna · 08-18-20, 12:52 PM

I’ve just been given two weeks to live. My wife’s going on vacation for a couple of weeks.

Jimbuna · 08-19-20, 11:32 AM

My wife’s star sign was cancer and it’s quite ironic how she died really…

She was killed by an angry goat.

Jimbuna · 08-19-20, 11:34 AM

If you want to change the world do it while you’re single.
Once you get married you can’t even change the TV channel.

Catfish · 08-19-20, 12:27 PM

^

mapuc · 08-19-20, 12:31 PM

A fairy gave a man a wish
he wished his wife was 30 years younger and the fairy swung the wand and now the man was 80 years old

Markus

Jimbuna · 08-20-20, 05:53 AM

My son brought his first girlfriend home tonight. The verdict? Flat chested, fat legs, and a flabby bottom.
Oh, and she doesn’t react well to criticism.

Jimbuna · 08-20-20, 12:38 PM

Had a random drug test today at work and my results were negative. My dealer has got a lot of explaining to do.

Platapus · 08-20-20, 02:51 PM

Last anniversary, I gave my wife a diamond bracelet and she has not spoken to me since.

Well, that was the agreement.

Texas Red · 08-20-20, 03:35 PM

I told my wife I have the body of an 18 year old......

She did not believe me until she looked in the freezer.

Buddahaid · 08-20-20, 09:31 PM

This last page is all repeats and some of them weren't very long ago.....

Jimbuna · 08-21-20, 04:36 AM

What's the difference between a Chinese zoo and an American zoo? A Chinese zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

08-16-20, 12:44 PM	#2191
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Lost my internet connection last night and couldn’t use Facebook. I had to spend 4 hours calling 247 of my friends to tell them ‘I hate work, I’m having a glass of wine before going to bed, lol’. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-17-20, 07:49 AM	#2192
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I’m going through a divorce at the moment and my wife told me she is going to make sure that my bank balance is £0… That’s nice of her, paying off my debts. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-17-20, 07:50 AM	#2193
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I don’t understand Christians. They say that gambling is wrong, then bet their entire life on heaven being real. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-18-20, 12:51 PM	#2194
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Anyone want some coconut shampoo? I bought some the other day but I don’t have any coconuts. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-18-20, 12:52 PM	#2195
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I’ve just been given two weeks to live. My wife’s going on vacation for a couple of weeks. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-19-20, 11:32 AM	#2196
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wife’s star sign was cancer and it’s quite ironic how she died really… She was killed by an angry goat. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-19-20, 11:34 AM	#2197
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If you want to change the world do it while you’re single. Once you get married you can’t even change the TV channel. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-19-20, 12:27 PM	#2198
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 16,913 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	^ __________________ >^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.

08-19-20, 12:31 PM	#2199
mapuc Fleet Admiral Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Denmark Posts: 18,165 Downloads: 37 Uploads: 0	A fairy gave a man a wish he wished his wife was 30 years younger and the fairy swung the wand and now the man was 80 years old Markus

08-20-20, 05:53 AM	#2200
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My son brought his first girlfriend home tonight. The verdict? Flat chested, fat legs, and a flabby bottom. Oh, and she doesn’t react well to criticism. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-20-20, 12:38 PM	#2201
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Had a random drug test today at work and my results were negative. My dealer has got a lot of explaining to do. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-20-20, 02:51 PM	#2202
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,990 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Last anniversary, I gave my wife a diamond bracelet and she has not spoken to me since. Well, that was the agreement. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-20-20, 03:35 PM	#2203
Texas Red Fastest Gun Around Join Date: Aug 2019 Location: Agua Fira, New Mexico Posts: 2,376 Downloads: 527 Uploads: 5	I told my wife I have the body of an 18 year old...... She did not believe me until she looked in the freezer. __________________ There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. — Colin Powell I'm not very active on the forums anymore. If you have a question, please DM me and I'll respond ASAP!

08-20-20, 09:31 PM	#2204
Buddahaid Shark above Space Chicken Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 8,576 Downloads: 160 Uploads: 0	This last page is all repeats and some of them weren't very long ago..... __________________ "However vast the darkness, we must provide our own light." Stanley Kubrick "Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming." David Bowie

08-21-20, 04:36 AM	#2205
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,491 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What's the difference between a Chinese zoo and an American zoo? A Chinese zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)