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01-26-20, 06:33 PM | #1501 |
Ocean Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,425
Downloads: 58
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What did the Buffalo say to his son as he dropped him off at school?
Bison.
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01-27-20, 08:31 AM | #1502 |
Chief of the Boat
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Did you hear about the new mummy they’ve discovered in Egypt? It was covered in nuts and chocolate.
They think his name was Pharaoh Rocher.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-27-20, 08:32 AM | #1503 |
Chief of the Boat
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I’m on a quest around the world to find Bigfoot. I’d originally set out to find cheap car insurance, but I decided to keep my goals realistic.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-28-20, 02:49 PM | #1504 |
Chief of the Boat
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I’ve been sleeping with this bloke’s wife and today he sent me this text: “You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!” To which I replied: “8 out of 10, the word (I’ll ) requires an apostrophe and a capital I.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-28-20, 02:52 PM | #1505 |
Chief of the Boat
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Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: I was just keeping up with the traffic. Cop: There is no traffic! Me: I know, that’s how far behind I am.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-29-20, 09:10 AM | #1506 |
Chief of the Boat
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I vowed to my wife that I would never hit her again, that I would find a job and raise my kids properly.The tears streamed down her face, this moment of joy would stick in my mind forever.
The moment when I said “April fools!” and dropped that gullible bitch to the ground. Gets her every year!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-29-20, 09:12 AM | #1507 |
Chief of the Boat
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My fat ex-girlfriend recently got a t-shirt saying, ‘I’m a maneater’…
I told her that’s not how you spell manatee!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-30-20, 08:12 AM | #1508 |
Chief of the Boat
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I used to work for a Jewish carpenter.
He used to check my fingers for splinters to make sure I wasn’t stealing.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-30-20, 08:13 AM | #1509 |
Chief of the Boat
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My wife said I was rude for yawning when she was shouting at me.
I told her I wasn’t yawning, I was just trying to speak.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-30-20, 05:58 PM | #1510 | |
Fleet Admiral
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Quote:
Cool joke. I don't think we have seen that posted before.
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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01-31-20, 08:11 AM | #1511 |
Chief of the Boat
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The following conversation happened after calling the police.
Police: What’s your emergency? Me: Two girls are fighting over me. Police: OK and what’s the problem? Me: The fat one is winning!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-31-20, 08:12 AM | #1512 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just been fired from my job as an airline pilot for smoking weed on my first day 🙁 .
Apparently I misunderstood them when they told me to “get high” after takeoff.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-01-20, 08:32 AM | #1513 |
Chief of the Boat
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Facebook should have a limit on the number of times people can change their relationship status.
After five, it ought to default to “Unstable”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-01-20, 08:33 AM | #1514 |
Chief of the Boat
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Knocked on my neighbours door and just had the following conversation.
Me: Your son has just run out in front of my car, I nearly killed him!! Neighbour: I’m so sorry, he won’t be doing it again. Me: I know he won’t, the paramedic said he probably won’t walk again.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-02-20, 12:46 AM | #1515 |
Fleet Admiral
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Life is like a game of Tetris
Your mistakes stack up Your accomplishments quickly disappear.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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