The joke thread II - Page 100

Eisenwurst · 01-24-20, 06:54 AM

There's a good one about why did Mickey Mouse divorce Minnie, but it's a bit naughty for here.

Jimbuna · 01-24-20, 10:00 AM

All the seasons are named after coils of metal. Except Winter and Summer. And Autumn.

Jimbuna · 01-24-20, 10:02 AM

Just been scammed out of $25.

Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled “My Favorite 18 Holes”

Total waste of money, turns out it’s all about golf.

Jimbuna · 01-24-20, 10:04 AM

Did you hear the joke about the butter?
I’m not going to spread it.

O.Kusch · 01-24-20, 12:49 PM

Why a merried man cannot fall asleep after having sex?

Because he still must drive at home.

Eisenwurst · 01-24-20, 04:44 PM

What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?

a carrot.

Platapus · 01-24-20, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eisenwurst

There's a good one about why did Mickey Mouse divorce Minnie, but it's a bit naughty for here.

That is one of my favorites

Platapus · 01-24-20, 05:13 PM

Got an E-mail advertising how to read maps backwards

I think its spam

Eisenwurst · 01-25-20, 03:08 AM

If you're an Aussie in the Living Room, what are you in the toilet ?

European.

Jimbuna · 01-25-20, 05:35 AM

My wife died a few months ago. Ever since I’ve been a total mess… no sleep, weight loss, bloodshot eyes, unlaundered clothes… The other day my best friend told me “Steve, you’ve got to stop partying!”

Jimbuna · 01-25-20, 05:36 AM

My Jewish mate has been with his Tourette’s suffering girlfriend for years now. I always wondered what kept them together.

Then I saw the swear jar.

Eisenwurst · 01-25-20, 05:22 PM

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Jimbuna · 01-26-20, 11:11 AM

Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a church it feels nice.
Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a Mexican prison is quite scary and is usually followed by severe pain.

Jimbuna · 01-26-20, 11:12 AM

Jesus is the best. I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.

Platapus · 01-26-20, 05:48 PM

There is nothing as comforting as the laughter of a baby

Unless it is two o'clock in the morning and you are the only one in your house!

01-24-20, 06:54 AM	#1486
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,801 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	There's a good one about why did Mickey Mouse divorce Minnie, but it's a bit naughty for here. __________________

01-24-20, 10:00 AM	#1487
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,283 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	All the seasons are named after coils of metal. Except Winter and Summer. And Autumn. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-24-20, 10:02 AM	#1488
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,283 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just been scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled “My Favorite 18 Holes” Total waste of money, turns out it’s all about golf. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-24-20, 10:04 AM	#1489
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,283 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear the joke about the butter? I’m not going to spread it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-24-20, 04:44 PM	#1491
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,801 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	What's orange and sounds like a parrot ? a carrot. __________________

01-24-20, 12:49 PM	#1490
O.Kusch Sailor man Join Date: Apr 2019 Posts: 43 Downloads: 175 Uploads: 0	Why a merried man cannot fall asleep after having sex? Because he still must drive at home.

01-24-20, 05:13 PM	#1493
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,424 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Got an E-mail advertising how to read maps backwards I think its spam __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-25-20, 03:08 AM	#1494
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,801 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	If you're an Aussie in the Living Room, what are you in the toilet ? European. __________________

01-25-20, 05:35 AM	#1495
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,283 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wife died a few months ago. Ever since I’ve been a total mess… no sleep, weight loss, bloodshot eyes, unlaundered clothes… The other day my best friend told me “Steve, you’ve got to stop partying!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-25-20, 05:36 AM	#1496
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,283 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My Jewish mate has been with his Tourette’s suffering girlfriend for years now. I always wondered what kept them together. Then I saw the swear jar. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-25-20, 05:22 PM	#1497
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,801 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide. __________________

01-26-20, 11:11 AM	#1498
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,283 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a church it feels nice. Hearing the words “Jesus loves you” in a Mexican prison is quite scary and is usually followed by severe pain. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-26-20, 11:12 AM	#1499
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 191,283 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Jesus is the best. I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-26-20, 05:48 PM	#1500
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,424 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	There is nothing as comforting as the laughter of a baby Unless it is two o'clock in the morning and you are the only one in your house! __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.