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02-14-20, 10:54 AM | #1546 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just had the following conversation at the airport
Security: Do you mind if we search your luggage? Me: It depends, what are you looking for? Security: Drugs Me: Well in that case, no!
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Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-14-20, 10:55 AM | #1547 |
Chief of the Boat
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Stayed up all night trying to remember if I have amnesia or insomnia.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-15-20, 09:56 AM | #1548 |
Chief of the Boat
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Conor McGregor walks into a bar and says, “I’ll take a couple of shots please.” The barman says, “You didn’t take them very well on Saturday”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-15-20, 09:58 AM | #1549 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just got a pizza delivered and they forgot to put mozzarella on it. I’m really cheesed off.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-16-20, 02:34 AM | #1550 |
Sea Lord
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Reno Nevada USA
Posts: 1,860
Downloads: 85
Uploads: 0
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Bob was sitting on the plane, waiting to fly to Baltimore, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, obviously in fear. "What's the matter," Bob asked, "flying bother you?"
"No, I've been transferred to Baltimore. I've heard things are terrible there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation." Bob replied, "I've lived in Baltimore all my life. It's not as bad as the media say. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as you want to make it." The guy relaxed and stopped shaking. He said, "Oh, thank you! I've been worried to death. But if you live there, and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?" "I'm a tail-gunner on a Budweiser truck." Magic
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Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l |
02-16-20, 09:21 AM | #1551 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just signed a £250,000 per week contract to play for Manchester United.
I just need to get them to sign it now.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-16-20, 09:23 AM | #1552 |
Chief of the Boat
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Interviewer: What’s your main weakness and strength?
Me: Well my main weakness is knowing the difference between truth and fiction. Interviewer: And your strength? Me: My main strength is that I’m Batman!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-17-20, 02:31 PM | #1553 |
Chief of the Boat
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Last night a cinema near me was robbed of over £1000.
The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large drinks and a pack of Skittles.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-17-20, 02:31 PM | #1554 |
Chief of the Boat
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Most people are shocked when they find out…
I’m a self-taught electrician.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-17-20, 02:33 PM | #1555 |
Chief of the Boat
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I’m going through a divorce at the moment and my wife told me she is going to make sure that my bank balance is £0…
That’s nice of her, paying off my debts.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-18-20, 02:52 AM | #1556 |
Ocean Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,425
Downloads: 58
Uploads: 0
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How can you tell what clan a scotsman belongs to???
Check under his kilt, if he's got a quarter pounder, he's a Mcdonalds.
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02-18-20, 03:16 PM | #1557 |
Chief of the Boat
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My Doctor has advised me to start running. I’m not ill or anything, I’ve just been sleeping with his wife.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-19-20, 01:24 PM | #1558 |
Rear Admiral
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What one atom said to the other: "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."
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Extradite Deez Nutz in your mouth Commissioner Mark Rowley you fascist pig. Make 1984 fiction again. |
02-19-20, 01:30 PM | #1559 |
Chief of the Boat
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I don’t understand Christians. They say that gambling is wrong, then bet their entire life on heaven being real.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
02-19-20, 01:33 PM | #1560 |
Chief of the Boat
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If you want to change the world do it while you’re single.
Once you get married you can’t even change the TV channel.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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