2011 Subsim Fantasy Football PreSeason

Gut Wrench · 07-27-11, 11:19 PM

Welcome back football fans, to another grueling season, as we head to the pinnacle of football monarchy, the Subsim Torpedo Bowl.

The lock out is over and the signatures are being penned as we get ready to see our coaching managers cross the continent, and several outlying countries, scouring out the best damm WR3 they can find for the notorious bye week. Yes, it's that time again, are you ready for some fantasy football.

Each week, well have our reporting team at every game, wherever it may be, as we head towards January in our search to find, the best fantasy football team. Will Portis be drafted in the first round? Will Favre be drafted...if he shows up? Will our defending champions the Takky Glue repeat? And most importantly, how many weekly reports will have to be rewritten in the final two minutes of the Monday night game?

This year, we'll be adding some new information, covering the preseason and the we'll be listening in on the draft August 27.

Get ready viewers, because Fantasy Football Is Back.

Gut Wrench · 07-31-11, 06:49 PM

Week One of the preseason to the Subsim league, where 12 teams will fight it out to compete in the Subsim Torpedo Bowl.

With nominations opening earlier in the week, there are a couple of surprises already, and we haven't even made it to draft day. There are currently nine teams entered into the league, but the most surprising of the teams was Coach Mookie selling out his former team for the price of two lap dances at the Republican Headquarters Stripper Convention.

"Yeah, it was time to run their sorry asses out of town," Coach Mookie proclaimed in an exclusive interview. "They aren't the first team to be run out of Houston, and they probably won't be the last."

Ironically, Coach Mookie has announced the acquisition of one of the expansion teams, scooping out Donald Trump and Rupert Murdoch to take the first team, the Ghost Monkeys. The Ghost Monkeys will be wearing the reverse Raider colors of silver and black for home games, and Orangutang orange and ruby red as their away colors.

The second item of interest this week was the return of Plexico Burress, signing a new deal to compete in the Subsim league.

"Yeah, both Michael Vick and I have come through the junior ranks of the NFL and Penitentary Reform League. I saw what Michael did last year and thought I was ready to step up to the big league in the Subsim league," Burress said at a press conference at the Subsim Clubhouse.

When asked where he thought he might like to play, he said "anywhere they don't have an ATF bureau."

Next week, it is anticipated that the final line up up of managers and their teams will be in place, and we'll look at the newcomers to the league, and just what that means to a couple of international based teams.

For the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW), this is Gut Wrench covering the preseason of the 2011 Subsim League.

Gut Wrench · 08-11-11, 10:15 PM

Welcome back football fans as the minor league NFL gets underway this evening, from a weird looking San Diego sky - at least it looks that way form the Seahawks box seats on the western side of Jack Murphy.

The big news in the Subsim League is that the Takky Glue...are not back. They have taken their Torpedo Bowl trophy, sold off the team and made like the Baltimore Colts and left town in the dead of night.

The gaping hole left by the defending Torpedo Bowl champions has seen new teams brought into the championship, and all four of the new comers have been placed in the same division, the obviously apparently weaker division of the two division league.

The first team in, the Dover Destroyers, are still without a state that can host a field big enough for the Subsim League, so they have two alternatives in place for the season. Their first option is to put a large plywood board over the Dover Delaware International Speedway and paint it green. Their second and preferred option, is to play on the deck on any visiting aircraft carrier.

The second team in are The Guns of Hoculi. The coach, Casey of another team in the past two years, has moved across to one of the expansion teams, and named their team in honor of a personal friend of my family. We'll take a closer look at the other two teams next week, as we try to work out why the games tonight is being billed as Monday Night Football.

No wonder the NFL is in turmoil and the Subsim League is the premier football league.

As the Chargers choke on 4th and 3, for the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW), this is Gut Wrench covering the preseason.

Gut Wrench · 08-22-11, 10:08 PM

Welcome back football fans with the news that the draft is 5 days away.

This years draft will take place on the east coast in Atlantic City at Harrah's casino.

Commissioner McBee, when asked on his choice of venue, commented that "some friends of his in Chicago strongly suggested Atlantic City", and who was he to argue.

The 2011 draft will be full of pomp and circumstance, with an obvious "state" theme built into the celebrations. The draft will take place at 2pm this Saturday (est), Opening the draft event will be New Jersey native Bruce Springsteen, while another New Jersey native Bruce Willis will be the guest announcer for the draft.

"One up on you and your toy boy Demi," Bruce was heard to say when he was given the nod by McBee to be the host.

The draft order is still a closely guarded secret, and just who will be the first pick of this years draft is still a mystery. Almost as much of a mystery as this years Best of Subsim Awards...which I'm kinda hoping to get at least one nomination this year.

Stay tuned football fans (that includes you Raiders too) as we get ready for some Fantasy Football.

nikimcbee · 08-23-11, 06:50 PM

Before I totally forget.

Draft is same as last year. Please check/install necesary software from yahoo BEFORE the draft, not 10 before

. Everything went smooth last year.

Gut Wrench · 08-27-11, 10:40 AM

Football fans, in a rare pre-draft appearance, the Commissioner has called an impromptu news conference lasting exactly 12 seconds.

The Commissioner issued one statement.

"Neither hail, rain, sleet, hot chicks mud wrestling or some big fat stalker called Irene, will prevent the draft from going ahead."

nikimcbee · 08-27-11, 10:45 AM

Quote:

hot chicks mud wrestling

Am I in the middle of that?

Gut Wrench · 08-27-11, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikimcbee

Am I in the middle of that?

The video footage hasn't yet been released.

Gut Wrench · 08-27-11, 12:35 PM

The Nighthawks have first pick of the draft!

07-27-11, 11:19 PM	#1
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	2011 Subsim Fantasy Football PreSeason Welcome back football fans, to another grueling season, as we head to the pinnacle of football monarchy, the Subsim Torpedo Bowl. The lock out is over and the signatures are being penned as we get ready to see our coaching managers cross the continent, and several outlying countries, scouring out the best damm WR3 they can find for the notorious bye week. Yes, it's that time again, are you ready for some fantasy football. Each week, well have our reporting team at every game, wherever it may be, as we head towards January in our search to find, the best fantasy football team. Will Portis be drafted in the first round? Will Favre be drafted...if he shows up? Will our defending champions the Takky Glue repeat? And most importantly, how many weekly reports will have to be rewritten in the final two minutes of the Monday night game? This year, we'll be adding some new information, covering the preseason and the we'll be listening in on the draft August 27. Get ready viewers, because Fantasy Football Is Back.

08-23-11, 06:50 PM	#5
nikimcbee Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Patroling the Slot. Posts: 17,952 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	Before I totally forget. Draft is same as last year. Please check/install necesary software from yahoo BEFORE the draft, not 10 before. Everything went smooth last year. __________________

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07-31-11, 06:49 PM	#2
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Week One of the preseason to the Subsim league, where 12 teams will fight it out to compete in the Subsim Torpedo Bowl. With nominations opening earlier in the week, there are a couple of surprises already, and we haven't even made it to draft day. There are currently nine teams entered into the league, but the most surprising of the teams was Coach Mookie selling out his former team for the price of two lap dances at the Republican Headquarters Stripper Convention. "Yeah, it was time to run their sorry asses out of town," Coach Mookie proclaimed in an exclusive interview. "They aren't the first team to be run out of Houston, and they probably won't be the last." Ironically, Coach Mookie has announced the acquisition of one of the expansion teams, scooping out Donald Trump and Rupert Murdoch to take the first team, the Ghost Monkeys. The Ghost Monkeys will be wearing the reverse Raider colors of silver and black for home games, and Orangutang orange and ruby red as their away colors. The second item of interest this week was the return of Plexico Burress, signing a new deal to compete in the Subsim league. "Yeah, both Michael Vick and I have come through the junior ranks of the NFL and Penitentary Reform League. I saw what Michael did last year and thought I was ready to step up to the big league in the Subsim league," Burress said at a press conference at the Subsim Clubhouse. When asked where he thought he might like to play, he said "anywhere they don't have an ATF bureau." Next week, it is anticipated that the final line up up of managers and their teams will be in place, and we'll look at the newcomers to the league, and just what that means to a couple of international based teams. For the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW), this is Gut Wrench covering the preseason of the 2011 Subsim League.

08-11-11, 10:15 PM	#3
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Welcome back football fans as the minor league NFL gets underway this evening, from a weird looking San Diego sky - at least it looks that way form the Seahawks box seats on the western side of Jack Murphy. The big news in the Subsim League is that the Takky Glue...are not back. They have taken their Torpedo Bowl trophy, sold off the team and made like the Baltimore Colts and left town in the dead of night. The gaping hole left by the defending Torpedo Bowl champions has seen new teams brought into the championship, and all four of the new comers have been placed in the same division, the obviously apparently weaker division of the two division league. The first team in, the Dover Destroyers, are still without a state that can host a field big enough for the Subsim League, so they have two alternatives in place for the season. Their first option is to put a large plywood board over the Dover Delaware International Speedway and paint it green. Their second and preferred option, is to play on the deck on any visiting aircraft carrier. The second team in are The Guns of Hoculi. The coach, Casey of another team in the past two years, has moved across to one of the expansion teams, and named their team in honor of a personal friend of my family. We'll take a closer look at the other two teams next week, as we try to work out why the games tonight is being billed as Monday Night Football. No wonder the NFL is in turmoil and the Subsim League is the premier football league. As the Chargers choke on 4th and 3, for the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW), this is Gut Wrench covering the preseason.

08-22-11, 10:08 PM	#4
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Welcome back football fans with the news that the draft is 5 days away. This years draft will take place on the east coast in Atlantic City at Harrah's casino. Commissioner McBee, when asked on his choice of venue, commented that "some friends of his in Chicago strongly suggested Atlantic City", and who was he to argue. The 2011 draft will be full of pomp and circumstance, with an obvious "state" theme built into the celebrations. The draft will take place at 2pm this Saturday (est), Opening the draft event will be New Jersey native Bruce Springsteen, while another New Jersey native Bruce Willis will be the guest announcer for the draft. "One up on you and your toy boy Demi," Bruce was heard to say when he was given the nod by McBee to be the host. The draft order is still a closely guarded secret, and just who will be the first pick of this years draft is still a mystery. Almost as much of a mystery as this years Best of Subsim Awards...which I'm kinda hoping to get at least one nomination this year. Stay tuned football fans (that includes you Raiders too) as we get ready for some Fantasy Football.

08-27-11, 10:40 AM	#6
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Football fans, in a rare pre-draft appearance, the Commissioner has called an impromptu news conference lasting exactly 12 seconds. The Commissioner issued one statement. "Neither hail, rain, sleet, hot chicks mud wrestling or some big fat stalker called Irene, will prevent the draft from going ahead."

08-27-11, 12:35 PM	#9
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	The Nighthawks have first pick of the draft!