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04-08-20, 07:21 AM | #1681 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just discovered I have superpowers. I can actually melt ice cubes by staring at them. It takes me quite a long time though.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-08-20, 07:22 AM | #1682 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Got really bad sunburn yesterday so I decided to take Viagra. It doesn’t cure it but it really helps when sleeping to keep the bedsheets off my legs.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-09-20, 10:47 AM | #1683 |
Chief of the Boat
|
A recent survey has shown that a large number of women turn into good drivers.
So if you’re a good driver beware of women who are turning.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-09-20, 10:49 AM | #1684 |
Chief of the Boat
|
The following took place about 4’000 years ago.
God: I’m gonna create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die! Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a £20 note* God: Correction, I’m gonna create a great flood!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-10-20, 06:53 AM | #1685 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Feminists are always wanting to be equal to men? Why not try to be better than men? This shows a lack of ambition which is why men are better.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-10-20, 06:54 AM | #1686 |
Chief of the Boat
|
What do you call a man who randomly attacks people with his lower forearm?
A terror wrist.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-11-20, 06:51 AM | #1687 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Went to the barbers today and asked to get my hair cut like Justin Bieber. He totally shaved my head bald. I said “What the hell have you done. Justin Bieber doesn’t have his hair cut like this!!”, the barber said “He would if he came into my shop.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-11-20, 07:01 AM | #1688 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words “That bus is going quite fast.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-12-20, 06:00 AM | #1689 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I’m sure the Miss Universe competition is always fixed. Why does the winner always come from planet Earth?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-12-20, 06:02 AM | #1690 |
Chief of the Boat
|
The following conversation took place between a mental patient and a doctor.
Patient: Doctor please help me. I keep thinking I’m John McEnroe! Doctor: You can’t be serious!!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-12-20, 06:30 AM | #1691 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
|
I want to die fast and without pain, like my granddad, relaxed and content in a plane cockpit.
Not like sitting in the seats behind him.
__________________
>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. |
04-12-20, 02:29 PM | #1692 |
Navy Seal
|
Two elderly men are sitting in the park the first one says I am 84 years old and my body is full of aches and pains .
The second guy replies well I am 85 years old and I feel like a new born baby Really says the first man .yep says the second man. No hair no teeth and I have just wet my pants
__________________
pla•teau noun a relatively stable level, period, or condition a level of attainment or achievement Lord help me get to the next plateau .. |
04-12-20, 02:42 PM | #1693 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Can’t believe how stupid the staff are at the McDonalds drive through. Sometimes it feels like I’m talking to a brick wall.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-13-20, 07:32 AM | #1694 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Did you hear about the gypsy who won the lottery?
They paid him with travelers cheques.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
04-13-20, 07:36 AM | #1695 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Did you hear about the man with square testicles? He had cubic hairs.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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