Formula 1 2008

[Graf Paper]

Auto racing generally bores me. It's all about who can drive in a circle the fastest or stomps the gas first to hold on for dear life while some beast of an engine with wheels takes them for a ride down a 1.25 mile strip.

What we need is a sponsored sniper who will, every ten minutes, randomly pick a car to shoot out one of its tires. I might be able to show more interest then.

"Our exciting shooter this week is ex-Army sniper Lt. Jackie Moff, a West Point grad and father of four who enjoys family cookouts and the smooth taste of Bud Light™. Less filling and tastes great!™"

That being said, there's nothing wrong with auto racing if you love it. Heck, I still watch cartoons so I can't criticise anyone's television habits. :p

I did used to love watching cross-country races from time to time, but the roadways are too busy these days to shut down a few hundred miles for a weekend race. You also can't crowd people into stands and hawk over-priced drinks, food, and merchandise to them at cross-country events.

"Oops! Looks like number 12, driven by Hugh Phardette, is the first to receive the attentions of Lt. Moff!"
"You got that right, Ted. It seems our sniper struck before the ten-minute limit due to a race judge's ruling that the spectators were getting too restless so it was time to shake up those complacent drivers! Let's look at that again with the instant-replay on our sniper-cam!""
"Shook up is the right word, Bob. Look at those cars pile up in turn three! The audience is going wild! Yelling and screaming can work up a thirst, though. Good thing the raceway concessions have plenty of Bud Light™ on hand! Less filling and tastes great!™"