Windows for Warships

[Letum]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/02..._boxes_at_sea/

"Microsoft forced upon the RN"

[Tchocky]

Windows ain't great, but it sure is a step up

*waits for Linux/Unix crowd to arrive*

[Kapitan_Phillips]

I'm not a Mac follower, or a Linux follower.

But this is absolutley ridiculous

[The Avon Lady]

I don't necessarily see a better alternative.

[Kapitan_Phillips]

"tomahawk.exe has performed an illegal operation, and will self-destruct. We're sorry for the inconvenience."

"Cannot start war.exe because the program appears to be in use, please close the other program and try again"

Now to get another world power to equip its ships with Mac, and another with Linux and start a World war, the OS Wars. :rotfl:

[The Noob]

Any Russian Submarine Captain Could tell you thats not a wise idea.

What Really Happened to the Submarine Kursk

New information has come to light about the Kursk disaster. For those
with short attention spans, the Kursk was the Russian submarine that
blew up and sank in the Arctic Ocean killing all 118 on board. The
Russians tried to blame the incident on a collision with an unidentified
object. However, sonar tapes which recorded the blasts (a small one at
first, then a much larger one two minutes later) cast doubt on these
claims.

A whistle blower within the Russian military has leaked that the Kursk
was testing a new type of torpedo when the accident occurred. It
seems very likely that the test didn't go quite as planned. While
rescue efforts to save the survivors of the Kursk failed, salvage crews
were able to recover a 'Black Box' from the submarine which contained
detailed accounts of the events leading up to the explosion. A copy of
those tapes has recently come into the hands of NATO intelligence
officers, one of whom leaked it to the press..

It turns out that the submarine crew was trying to load Microsoft
Windows XP on their fire control computer. Their intent was to replace
the aging CP/M operating system with the flashier Windows OS.
Apparently, the Russians didn't know about the legendary stability
problems exhibited by Windows. The log tapes make this painfully
obvious:

Transcript of Portions of the Kursk Log

Captain: Is the new fire control Windows OS installed yet Comrade?
Seaman: Almost Sir. We just need to finish filling out the
registration card.
Captain: Excellent. Soon we will be able to point and click our
enemies into oblivion. [evil laughter in background]
Seaman: Comrade Captain! It is booting! Look, it says 'Preparing to
run Windows for the first time'. [long pause]
Seaman: Arrgh! Sir, it wants me to reboot again. That makes the 27th time.
Captain: Hmmm. This is not encouraging. Go ahead and reboot again.

Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [another long pause]
Seaman: Captain, it is up again. It says it found new hardware . . . . A CD-ROM drive and that it needs drivers.
Captain: Where are the drivers?
Seaman: On the CD-ROM.
Captain: You are joking, no?
Seaman: No Sir.
Captain: Reboot the damn thing again. I am starting not to like this Windows. [another long pause]
Seaman: Sir! It is back! It says it found the Gorby2000 Torpedo and is looking for the device drivers. Do we have a driver disk?
Captain: I do not think so.
Seaman: I will tell it to use the default drivers. [another long
pause]
Seaman: Crap. It wants to reboot again.
Captain: How many times are we going to reboot today? This is taking
forever. Our hull is going to rust out before this works. [another
long pause]
Seaman: Sir! It is up and this time it is not asking for anything!
Captain: Really? No device drivers? No registration cards? No user profiles?
Seaman: No Sir. I think it is ready.
Captain: Good work comrade. Now click on the fire control icon and let us see how this works.
Seaman: Clicking now, Sir. [another long pause]
Captain: Why does the fire control screen have a dancing paper clip on it?
Seaman: I have no idea Sir.
Captain: Hmmm, well try clicking on the menu.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. Let us see; Open E-mail, Spam a friend, Mail a Virus, Fire a Torpedo . . . .
Captain: We will spam a friend later. Let us fire a torpedo.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [another long pause]
Seaman: It is asking us to load the torpedo and to click when ready.
Captain: Torpedo room, load a torpedo in tube number 1!
Intercom: This is the Torpedo room. The torpedo is loaded Sir.
Captain: Click on the continue button.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [another long pause]
Seaman: It is asking for a target Sir.
Captain: Hmmm, target the Rainbow Warrior.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. Damn! It says the torpedo is low on ink.
Captain: Click ignore. We will get some ink when we return to base.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. We are ready to fire.
Captain: Very good. You may fire when ready comrade.
Seaman: Firing torpedo, Sir. [another really long pause]
Captain: Well?
Seaman: I am trying Sir. Nothing is happening. Wait a minute . . . .

[Loud explosion in the background]
Intercom: [Screaming]
Captain: What the $@#% was that?!?!?
Seaman: Captain! A new screen has appeared! It says, "Outlook
Express Fire Control has performed an illegal operation and will be shut
down. Click 'OK' to continue."
Seaman: Oh my God! The paper clip has died! What should I do?
Captain: Shut it down! Shut it down!
Seaman: It is not responding, Sir!
Captain: Try 'CTRL-ALT-DELETE'!
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. . . . Sir! We are in luck! The task manager is
still operating. I am instructing the task manager to shut down Outlook
Fire Control. [another long pause]
Seaman: The task manager says "Outlook Fire Control not responding."
Captain: Well no ****. Tell it to "End Task".
Seaman: Nothing is happening Sir.
Captain: Try 'CTRL-ALT-DELETE' again.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [sounds of frantic pecking on keyboard.]
Seaman: Oooh! What a pretty blue screen!
Captain: Holy $@#%! Not the blue screen of death
[Loud explosion heard]

The tape ends at this point. During the week long rescue effort,
divers reported hearing tapping in Morse Code coming from survivors
inside the damaged sub. The rescuers couldn't understand why a group of
men would spend the last of their strength tapping out "Windows Sucks!"
in Morse. The tapes of the last moments of the Kursk may offer some
insight into this.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Blue screen of death! :rotfl:

[SUBMAN1]

Originally Posted by The Avon Lady

I don't necessarily see a better alternative.

Linux

[tycho102]

Originally Posted by The Avon Lady

I don't necessarily see a better alternative.

Fighter jets tend to run their own operating system, which is manufactured at the same time as the hardware is designed. Hand-tweaked binary operating system. However, the idea with boats is they'll keep floating even if it blue-screens -- jets tend to un-float.

I'll also point out that Windows NT has pulled whatever the highest security classification (class 7? class 5?) is for confidental work -- but they removed the entire networking stack (absolutely no networking functionality left in the OS). Since that ship is going to be networked by satellite link, it's eventually going to get hacked or crash.

[lesrae]

In general this is a cost issue - hand crafted, unique, un-hackable code written by ubergeeks costs money - much cheaper to use MS based apps to run everything. You can blame the taxpayer who wants less council tax and VAT, cheaper booze, fags and petrol for that one - the cuts have to come from somewhere and defence is, and always has been, a classic target.

Remember that these systems are not accessible from the internet or even the MoDs own intranet, comms are with highly secured stand alone systems ashore. It doesn't even talk to the network I work with onboard, which is for office automation and general pupose use.