I'm a Hard Nut, Me

[Aktungbby]

...that's "my idiot friends and I" ya illiterate bugger! I did the same thing when I touched the rubber cable cap over the sparkplug of the sailboat's 9hp outboard with my finger while it was running during a minor repair to the starter. I had thought the rubber would be sufficient insulation...as a massive shock travelled up my arm; across my chest ...and down the other arm, as I ended up on the dock 5' away from the stern flat my back. A very minor cardiac: numbness down my arm; pain under the jaw and dizziness event occurred in the middle of the Bay a week later; and I have had occasional ventricular arrhythmia since; but my cardiologist can find nothing wrong after two treadmill tests...Unable to sail confidently (71)and my boat captain(75) in bad shape also; we sold the boat after 8 years of voyaging every week.

[August]

I once climbed up a wire fence at my Aunts Indiana farm in order to pet the horses. I was like 5 or 6. Grabbed hard onto the top wire with both hands to heft myself up and then woke up about 20 feet away with the adults running out of the house screaming "Oh my God he's dead!"

[Aktungbby]

...fortunately U have a healthy 'messiah complex'

[Rockstar]

This is somewhat badass.

There I was three sheets into the wind tipping back another cold frosty one. Lo and behold I get recalled for a SAR case. A freighter had grounded off the beach, boats couldn’t reach it people couldn’t walk out to it.

So I was volunteered to go for a helicopter ride. The helo picks me up from the beach in a basket and the crewman drags me inside. As we fly towards the freighter the pilot must have caught a whiff of booze. Because he suddenly turned around and demanded to know if I had been drinking. I looked at the crewman and then the pilot, I smiled and shouted NO SIR! About a minute or two later we get over the freighter I get into the basket and the pilot tells the aircrew “get him off my helicopter.”

Down I go, banging into the mast and rigging all the way down to the deck and bailed out.

Eventually I received a messenger via the old .30 caliber line throwing gun from the beach. I found a suitable length of rope on the ship to get us to the beach. And we all climbed down the ladder into the water and made our way to land. Currents were ripping and without that rope we would have certainly been dragged under that ship.

Worst part of the whole ordeal was a hangover the next morning.

[Rockstar]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

...that's "my idiot friends and I" ya illiterate bugger!

Call a priest, Aktungbby has been possessed by Sailor Steve!

[Platapus]

I once told my wife that I did not want to spend the holiday with her relatives.

[Rockstar]

Originally Posted by Platapus

I once told my wife that I did not want to spend the holiday with her relatives.

That is the ultimate badass. Not many men are that brave and those which are rarely survive.

[Commander Wallace]

Originally Posted by Platapus

I once told my wife that I did not want to spend the holiday with her relatives.

How did you ever manage to survive that ? I know guys that have done far less than that are 6 feet under.

When we were in high school and young and stupid, we had a party where there was some drinking. We might have been slightly delinquent too. The party was very near an industrial complex.

One friend got up after drinking a copious amount of alcohol to relieve himself. Unfortunately for him, he did so on the fence encompassing the property. Unbeknownst to him, the metal fence was electrified. I will never forget his screaming.
I don't even want to imagine what that felt like. He was okay though after a while. Although it wasn't funny then, I still chuckle when I see him and he does too a bit.


This goes under the heading of, " One day we will all look back on this and laugh and think it was funny."