2019 Subsim Fantasy Football Season

[Gut Wrench]

Nighthawks Score 200
Who Dat Get Slaughtered

Week Seven in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and we should really start talking about the playoffs for some of these teams. We'll talk about the team that has scored yet another 200+ points game, the team that continues to win as ghost, and the team that is lasting their way through the division

Before we do gossip over any of these, however, we have to talk about two other important topics.


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Our Match of the Day this week was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. These two power house teams have gone back and forth on one another within the division for the past few years. Coming into today's game, the Nighthawks were beaten last week in a stinging loss to the lowest rank team in the league. They were looking for redemption at all costs, and redemption they earned as they plowed their way trough the Nation. While the Nation had some credible performances from Dak Presscot (QB) and Michael Thomas, (WR) it was the combined aspect of the Nighthawks that ran over the nation. Even their defense got in on the act this with with the Patriots (DEF) outscoring every player on the field for the Who Dat Nation. This one wasn't even close, but as we look at the final score, there is an air of ominous from the Helmand Nighthawks as they solidify their position as the league leaders. Helmand Nighthawks blow out the Who Dat 207 - 130.

Across the nation, the Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys, after beating up the Helmand Nighthawks last week, must have partied well into the week for they only brought five (5) starters. Even then, those starters still managed to put up more points than one other team this week (well get to that in a minute) but it was always going to be an easy win. The Guns of Hochuli account for the Drunk Monkeys 124 - 103.

How many ways are there to lose a football game? Just ask the Australian Taipans. The Taipans started their start Patrick Mahonnes (QB) who was good for one quarter before succumbing to injury. With that many points not met, you would have assumed that the Black Cats would just steamroll their way to a victory. Cats starter Matt Ryan (QB) also sustained an injury early in the game, and both teams were now in a race to the bottom of the ladder. The Cats were revitalized by Amari Cooper (WR) and the Rams (DEF) who put them over 110 points. The Taipans needed their lowest score of the year to win it but even with Julian Edelman (WR) and Mike Nugent (K) couldn't help their cause. For the second time this season, the Taipans crash narrowly in a loss to the Black Cats 111 - 100, but really, both teams probably need to be relegated if that's their best performance.

So for the first time in many years, we have three teams at the top of the ladder and we have one ghost team showing how to play football. Perhaps Coach FYC should not show up to more games?

The Hemland Nighthawks at 5-2 lead the Surface Skimmers Division while the Guns of Hochuli with the same record lead the Sub Simmers division. The Black Cats. also 5-2, occupy the #3 seed. The rest of the league follows at below .500%.

The Who Dat Nation at 3-4 are in the stronger of the two divisions and are attempting to stave off the following teams who may get by them. The Taipans at 2-5 are almost eliminated from winning the Sub Simmers division, whilst the Drunk Monkeys at 1-5 are still not eliminated form playoffs.

How is that possible?

Next week we go back to the Carolina's for a top of the ladder challenge as we look to have both 5-2 teams battle it out. The Black Cats will be hosting the Helmand Nighthawks and while the Cats continue to ghost - and win, they can't be discounted. The Nighthawks may not have to put uo 200 points next week but they will still need a load of points to take the win.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Hard to looks past one of the most outstanding performances in the history of the league. As much as we wanted to give it to another Defense, this players numbers were just took good. For the effort of 492 yards and 5 touchdowns and 6 rushing yards for 1 touchdown, for an enormous score of 59.26 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Seven MVT to Aaron Rodgers of the Helmand Nighthawks.

[Gut Wrench]

Who Dat Fire the Gunners
Taipans End Their Slump

Week Eight in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. The half way point of the entire season and so far, it looks like we have only one playoff contender showing how it's done, and one relegation showing how it's not done. And in the middle, it's just a big old Antonio Brown mess. (Too soon?). As we get ready to go around the grounds and find out just what happened, here's the most important happening you need to know about.


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Lets take this for the bottom of the table and work our way up, this week.

In Australia, the Taipans return for a much needed home field stretch. Our defending Torpedo Bowl Champions have been just awful this year amassing four consecutive losses. A divisional loss this week would put the Taipans on the brink of elimination, but thanks to some sloppy work in another game, and with the coaching of the Drunk Monkeys, the Taipans got a break. Brandin Cooks (WR) could do with an additional Kit Kat bar as he sustained a concussion running out on to the field, leaving the depleted Taipans wide receiving corp one player down before the kick off and after the close of starters. Not to worry, the Drunk Monkeys who made the long trans Pacific crossing helped out when Devonte Adams (WR) Ezekial Elliott (RB) and Juystin Tucker (K) were all detained at Sydney International Airport for Customs Inspection. The three Monkeys on their quarantine card had responded to the question "Do you have anything to declare?" with "Mind your own business." The players were detained across the weekend ensuring that the Taipans would have no trouble winning the match. Final score Taipans 161 Drunk Monkeys 90.

Back on the mainland, the Who Dat Nation arrived for a showdown with the Guns of Hochuli, still licking their wounds after being given a right royal ass beating by the Nighthawks. The Nation, heavily stacked had been waiting on the star Drew Brees (QB) to return from injury, this being his first week back. Brees did not disappoint coming out and throwing for over 373 yards and 3 touchdowns. The Gunners were resting on their star Carson Wentz (QB) to at least stay on pace with Brees so that their running backs could carry the load. However, Coach Casey, in a rare error, started David Johnson (RB) who this week was scheduled to have his ass enlarged to fit his padded shorts. With Johnson as a non starter, the Nation were able to capitalize on the gap with Mike Evans (WR) going for 198 yards and 2 touchdowns. This game wasn't even close as the Who Dat Nation reaffirmed their position as the leagues potential #2 team by disposing of the the divisional leader Guns of Hochuli. In a massive blow out, the Who Dat Nation put their Torpedo Bowl hopes back in motion, thoroughly beating up the Guns of Hochuli 190 - 103.

Our Match of the Day this week was in the Carolina's where the Black Cats have amassed a 5-2 winning record without Coach FYC ever showing up and without making a single change to their team. The Cats have gone deeper into the regular season than any ghost team prior, to put themselves in the unfathomable position of being league leaders with a win.

"We don't give a crap about their record," Coach Mister Chris of the Helmand Nighthawks responded to the media when asked. "We're here to play the Black Cats."

And play them they did. The Nighthawks for the second week in a row put up the leagues highest score, and set the Nighthawks up not only as the highest average scorer in the league, but come away with sole possession of the best record. The Nighthawks skinned the Black Cats 216 - 125.

So, with the wins and losses there is a little more clarity in the league positions.

The Helmand Nighthawks at 6-2 have the best record in the league and lead the Surface Skimmers Division. Competing in the tougher of the two divisions, the Nighthawks are not yet assured a divisional seeding, but they can put themselves into position to capture either the #1 or #3 seed, and potentially the softer path to the Torpedo Bowl.

The loss by the Guns of Hochuli and the Black Cats keep them at 5-2. The Gunners have a two game lead over the nearest divisional rival and are currently the #2 seed. The Cats with the same record have the #3 seed, but they only hold a one game lead over the divisional rival.

The Who Dat Nation at 4-4 occupy the #4 seed and are the third team in the Surface Skimmers division. The Nation are only one game behind the Black Cats and two games behind the Helmand Nighthawks. This division is undecided for while they may be the #4 seed, they are a past Torpedo Bowl Champion and potentially could play spoiler. There is no one who thinks that the Who Dat Nation can't win the division from two games back.

The Australian Taipans at 3-5 have a much trickier path to the play offs. They have lost games they had no business losing, giving the Black Cats a two game lead. If the Cats continue to ghost along, the Taipans not only have to pick up two games, but also have to get a third game in front of the Cats to win the countback. If they fail to do so, the Black Cats will be the first ghost team to make the playoffs. There's a lot for the Taipans to loose.

At the bottom of the ladder are the Drunk Monkeys at 1-7, but their sole win was against the league leader. The Monkeys are already four games back of the Sub Simmers divisional leader, the Guns of Hochuli, and with the closeness of the Surface Skimmers, are getting close to facing elimination from the playoffs. It's very simple for the Monkeys from here on out. Win everything.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

We so looked at giving this weeks aware to another Defense for their outstanding performance, however, they were overshadowed in the Great Southern Land by a second half worthy of the record books. For the effort of 67 rushing yards, 7 receptions for 159 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a score of 47.60 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Eight MVT to Aaron Jones (RB) of the Australian Taipans.

[Gut Wrench]

Getting Easy For Some
Getting Harder for Others

Week Nine in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. If you're keeping score than you better start penciling in one team for the playoffs. You can also pencil one team for an early trip away at the end of the season, and while you're scratching over the remaining intermediary positions, you can keep the eraser handy as we still don't have a clear picture of who's advancing and who's not.

But we do have a very clear picture of the two most important items you should do, right now.


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Week Nine in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and in past years, we would normally be touting the virtues of one team an "winner takes all"...and then going "oops" about four weeks later when they crash and burn int he final weeks of the season. We're going to look at the low scoring adventures of this weeks games then come back and really draw our first predictions on the final placings.

Let's start with the first game where we nearly had a massive choke. Drunk Monkeys were playing the Helmand Nighthawks, again this week. The Monkeys sole win this year came against the Nighthawks, but it wasn't going to be a repeat performance this week. Despite the sloppy play of Aaron Rodgers (QB) and Ju Ju Smith - Schuster - probably form doing too many commercials, it was Cam McCaffrey that kept the Nighthawks on the winning path. Not that they needed much of a performance, Coach Thad once again started two (2)players still on their season break and was only able to post a paltry score. The Nighthawks didn't have to do a lot to win, but, at one stage, they didn't look like they could post a score to won. Grinding out needlessly what should have been an early slam dunk, the Nighthawks finally come away with the win defeating the Drunk Monkeys in a low scoring game, 120 - 81.

Our Match of the Day this week, although unadvertised in this forum, cause I forgot to really proof read my own publication (bad, Gut Wrench) was the Black Cats hosting the Guns of Hochuli. These two divisional rivals have been almost locked in step since the start of the season, and while the Gunners have quietly and methodically gone about their business, it has been the Black cats which has been the most surprising Ghost Team of the past decade, amassing wins early in the season. Well, those wins came to a historical low halt today as the Cats register the lowest ever score in the history of the league. Fielding only three players, the Cats had more players on the field than in the stands (barely). The Guns of Hochuli made a quick meal of the Cats disposing of them 129 - 53.

Our closest game of the week was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Australian Taipans. The Nation have been stifled by the Black Cats winning ways and needed to get back on track against the Taipans. The Taipans have been frustrated week after week, plagued by injuries, and this week was no exception as they started six (6) players on the Questionable list. There was even an unconfirmed report of Antonio Brown (WR) being at the ground getting ready to suit up for the Taipans. Taipans started with a weak score and finally put some points on the board to at least make this a game. Who Dat Nation crippled the Taipans with their receiving corps and though behind on the scoreboard at the start of Monday night, had really only to take the field and put on a quarter of a game to ensure the win. Who Dat Nation get back on the wining track defeating the Taipans 157 - 122.

So this week the low scoring aspect of the league has brought some question into the final play off positions. We'll take this apart one by one and start to clear the air.

The Helmand Nighthawks at 7-2 lead the league and the Surface Skimmers division. The Nighthawks still have to play the Monkeys two more times before the end of the season. Giving the Nighthawks wins in both games, they only need to win one more game to ensure a play off position. They will, in all fairness, probably finish the regular season as the #1 seed. Again.

We're going skip over the #2 seed for just a moment, but we will come back to it.

The #3 and #4 seeds in the league so far are the Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats. The Black Cats have shown themselves to be the best damm ghost team ever, but the Nation have chased them down from arrears and equaled their 5-4 record. If the Cats continue to ghost the remainder of the season the Who Dat Nation will mathematically outscore them and assume the higher seeding within the consolation series. For the moment, we'll give the Nation the #3 seed, but we're not going to give the Cats a seeding just yet. Let's get back to the #2 seed.

The Guns of Hochuli with their win this week reach 6-3 and hold the #2 seeding, for the moment. Their division included the Australian Taipans and the Drunk Monkeys. As we mentioned earlier, we don't expect the Monkeys to carry through on wins, so unless there is an appearance by Coach FYC, we'll go ahead and pencil the Monkeys in as the #6 seed and eliminated from the playoffs.

But what does that have to to with the #2 seed. Everything.

The Gunners, have, in the last few weeks, methodically gone about business and won games. But, they also give the appearance of being a part time Ghost team as well. They need another four (4) wind to solidly their position, because they are also scheduled to play the Who Dat Nation, the Black Cats and the Taipans in the final weeks. On paper, that's a tough draw.

The Black Cats are 5-4 and in the #4 seed, but they are also 2-1 in their division, while the Who Dat Nation are 0-3 within the division. The Cats really only need to beat the Nation one more time to ensure a higher ranking then them, or, hope for the Nation to be defeated by the Nighthawks. The Cats may end up stealing the #3 seeding from the Nation, unless they can get some help. And where is that help going to come form?

The Australian Taipans at 3-6 are three games back of the Divisional Leaders and in trouble if they want to play in December. The Taipans have had more injuries this year than...they did last year, when they won the league. The Taipans have to play everyone in front of them on the ladder in the last few weeks, and most of their past games have been decided by one or two players, or one or two injuries. The Taipans look like they will miss out on the playoffs, unless they can win. If they do, their wins will reshuffle the Who Dat Nation, Black Cats and possibly, but less likely, the Guns of Hochuli.

So what does that mean? The seeding for positions #2 through #5 are not yet decided, and with too many variables and ghost teams, could change next week. But fortunately, that's why you have us writers at the helm. Which leads us to next weeks Match of the day, the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Nation need the win to pull ahead of the Black Cats, and if the Gunners are in fact ghosting, this will be the week when it shows up. The Nation can pull ahead of the Black Cats with a win and leapfrog up the ladder to strengthen their claim on the #3 seed, As usual, we will be there to capture all the highlights and the low lights.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

With some low scoring this week, we really had to look hard to find a worthy recipient for this award. We found it in a previous winner of this award for the this season. For the effort of 146 rushing yards and 2 touchdowns, 3 receptions for 20 yards and a touchdown, for a total of 43.60 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Nine MVT to Cam McCaffrey (RB) of the Helmand Nighthawks..

[Gut Wrench]

Taipans Down the Nighthawks
Drunk Monkeys Get an Uber Home


Week Ten in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. There are only a few more weeks left before we enter the playoff season and as yet, no one has cinched a position. We do, however, have our first team eliminated from the playoffs, but if you were thinking that you knew what was going to happen this week, you were most definitely in for the ride of the the year.

Let's find out about what happened before the first match of the week, and what controversy now surrounds one of our Coaches, whose name is not Antonio Brown.

Right after this very important message.

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Let's start with what happened before the first match of the weekend

The Australian Taipans have been a little disappointing this year. Earlier in the week there was some "conversations" which correspondents may interpret as "mudslinging". The Taipans were heavy underdogs against the Helmand Nighthawks who were going to have travel through some of the worst fires in the history of the world, just to get to the ground. Now, Mister Chris is not one to shy away from a response, but before it got out of Hand, Commissioner Pioneer called in Coach Pioneer for a friendly reminder. Word on the street is that conversation was fiery, and that Coach Pioneer left the Commissioner Office, and both parties are now not talking to each other.

That would make for a dandy drive home that day.

On to the game. Taipans were in desperate need of a win having lost several games they had no business losing. The Nighthawks were starting to run away with the league, and looking like a mighty dangerous force to sweep the playoffs. Early Thursday the Taipans started well just getting their nose in front, but it was the work on the ground where they truly shone. Having been steamed by abysmal performance the Taipans came ready to meet the Nighthawks head on. Following the draft, the Nighthawks scouting report indicated that this would be their most vulnerable week, and the report was correct. Mister Chris had been outspoken on all opponents being dangerous, and like a knowledgeable Coach, knew that this was a difficult game. The Nighthawks out ran the ball with Devonte Cook (RB) and Christian McCaffrey (RB) but a soft air game from Aaron Rodgers (QB) and the wide receiving corp set this game up as an ugly loss for Mister Chris. As he proclaimed, all opponents are dangerous until defeated and Mister Chris and the Nighthawks were defeated by the Taipans 105 - 167.

Our Match of the Day was a thriller, but I will confess, somewhere I turned off the national broadcast thinking the Guns of Hochuli had this sewn up, only to return after full time to discover the Who Dat Nation had blown the Gunners away. The Gunners came out and had 100 plus points on the board before the Who Dat Nation even took the field. Tryee Hill (WR) was outstanding for Coach Casey, but, a bruised ego on the opening drive to David Johnson (RB) robbed the Gunners of a high scoring machine. The Who Dat Nation got off to a start with a frightening scare as Drew Brees (QB) choked. The Nation would need some voodoo to get back into this one, and they did so Michael Thomas (WR) scoring over 34 points. However, it wasn't quite enough as they were only able to draw closer to the Gunners, and had to rely on their Defense to bring home the goods. The Nations stomping by the Steelers (DEF) carried the Nation through the still smoking haze from the Gunners who had left the field to go and celebrate. In a come from behind win, and a chase from over 100 points back, the Who Dat Nation got a well deserved, albeit high scoring and narrow win over the Guns of Hochuli. The Who Dat Nation hang on to win the game 173 - 160 over the Guns of Hochuli.

So, those four teams represent the strength of the league and at least three of them will be going into the playoffs, albeit we do not know what their seeding will be. We have two more teams in the league who are Ghosting along, at opposite ends of the spectrum. The Back Cats continue their record breaking run of winning - without a Coach, while the Drunk Monkeys continue to be the best damm "almost won again" team without Coach Thad.

Monkeys and the Cats was always going to a low scoring affair. Both teams started a lot of players either attending Tupperware parties and had requested the weekend off, or were attending Marine Corp Balls (Thanks you for your service.) The Cats were without a running back and a tight end, while the Monkeys were without a quarterback and a running back. Playing 9 a side offense, this game was indeed offensive. Low scoring, hampered scores, this is one of those games when you look back at the end of the season, you will ask "how did we let that happen?" Black Cats had a glimmer of honor as Amari Cooper (WR) had 11 receptions and 147 yards with a touchdown for a score of 39 points. That one score would be the deciding factor in the game as the Black Cats dispose of the Drunk Monkeys 115 - 83.

This weeks games have provided a minor upset, and in one instance, has stifled the juggernaut of the league leaders. It has also given us our first elimination. Let's take the league apart piece by piece, and see where we are. By starting at the bottom.

The loss of the Drunk Monkeys drops them to 1-9. They would have to win five of their next four games in order to reach a countback situation for the playoffs. Not going to happen. The Drunk Monkeys are eliminated from the post season. They will finish the season as either the #5 or #6 team watching from the grandstands.

Let's move to the top of the ladder, where that is almost as clear. The shock loss by the Nighhawks leaves Mister Chris at 7-3. His lead on the league is back to one game. The Nighthawks can still miss out on the play offs, but, they have the easiest run into the post season as they have to play the Drunk Monkeys two more times. While the Monkeys defeated them on their first time around, rest assure, Mister Chris is not going to let it happen three times. Still, with his lead over the rest of the league reduced, he needs three wore wins to finish out as the #1 seed.

It gets a little more complicated right behind him.

The Who Dat Nation, the Black Cats and the Guns of Hochuli are one game behind the Nighthawks at 6-4. Each of these teams have trailed the Nighthawks all season, and to be one game in arrears, must be disheartening for Mister Chris. Lets take the Guns of Hochuli first. The Gunners lead the Surface Skimmers division by two games. It's too early to be forecasting their position yet as they play the Taipans twice in the last three weeks. But the Gunners could snatch the #1 position away from the Nighthawks with some help. That help is going to come from the Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats.

Both the Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats are in the same division as the Helmand Nighthawks but with very different records. The Cats are 2-1 in their division, and they have defeated the Nighthawks. The Who Dat Nation while an equal record, but are 0-3 in their division. The Nation, in order to finish higher than the Black Cats, have to win within their division and get some help. The Black Cats, need to score more points for while their divisional record is better, if the Nation don't win the division, the Cats fall behind on the countback of points. This division is too close to call.

And that leaves us our fifth team vying for the fourth and final position, the Australian Taipans. The Taipans at 4-6 have to chase down their divisional rival the Guns of Hochuli first, and then rely on other favorable results to make their way to the playoffs. They could end up as the #3 seed, but their fate is more likely the #5. They have more to loose than than any other team.

So what does that mean for next week. The marquee gave is the Australian Taipans hosting the Guns of Hochuli, however, the fires in Australia have put the Taipans home ground in jeopardy of being burnt to the ground. The Taipans have asked the Commissioner for an alternative field, but after the Commissioner and the Coach of the Taipans "meeting" earlier this week, the Commissioner may not be as receptive to moving the game. Let's stay with a game that we know has just as much on the line, and not subject to being moved. The Who Dat Nation hosting the Black Cats. The winner of this match will own the #3 seed in the league with just a few weeks left. The Nation are fighting for divisional wins, while the Cats have amassed an impressive Ghost Record. If the Cats win, it will be repercussions across the league on managing your team "from afar".

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

They took on the giant of the league, and they came home with a victory. For the effort of 223 passing yards and 3 touchdowns, 64 rushing yards for 1 touchdown, for a total of 39.42 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Ten MVT to Lamar Jackson (QB) of the Australian Taipans.

[Gut Wrench]

Who Dat Win
...but the Nighthawks Haven't Clinched, yet.


Week Eleven in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. We're coming down to the final weeks of the regular season and as yet our front runner of the league has not yet clinched a play off spot. And while we've been talking all season about him, look around and recognize that at least one team has kept pace within a game to cast the entire league deep into the regular season without booking their ticket to the Post Season.

We'll go around the grounds, include the wild weather that plagued one game, right after we tell you about the most important thing to do this week before getting your turkey.


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With so much to talk about, let's begin with our Match of the Day that turned into a snooze fest. This come after our proclamation last week that the winner of the Who Dat Nation hosting the Black Cats would have outright hold on the #3 seed in the league. James Connor (RB) was the first to trot out onto the field for the Black Cats, but he really could have stayed back in the pavilion as he only produced 2 points before coming off. This left the door open for the Who Dat Nation to romp away, but even with the poor start of the Cats, the Nation made the first "rookie" coaching mistake of the year by starting Jarvis Landry (WR) who went for one touchdown, and the Steelers (DEF). Mistakes like this in the post season won't advance the Nation and although they ran away with this game by almost 90 points, it was a very unlike Coach Fuel For Blood error. For a game with so much on the line, Coach FYC of the Black Cats no longer looks like the best Ghost Coach in the history of the league. Final Score Who Dat Nation 152, Black Cats 61.


Now where I live the Helmand Nighthawks and Drunk Monkeys game was the locally broadcast late game. I will confess, I was having several beers at the start of this game, but you couldn't put money on the Nighthawks to loose this one. Recall just a few weeks ago the Drunk Monkeys upset the league leaders, and this week, they almost pulled off a second defeat of the Nighthawks. Deshawn Watson (QB) started for the Monkeys and when he only scored 1.96 points, you might have thought the win by the Nighthawks was going to be by "how much". Hold the phone, the Nighthawks Mister Terrific, Tom Brady (QB) was equally unimpressive scoring only 8 points, and when each of the Nighthawks three wide receivers failed to find the in zone, I for one stopped drinking. The Monkeys were leading the Nighthawks late Sunday afternoon and the Nighthawks only had one more player left. Cooper Kupp (WR) needed just one catch and maybe thirty yards to give the Nighthawks the lead, but they had to wait an awfully long time, almost into the darkness before Kupp finally made the catch. Having secured the win Kupp (WR) took a nap on the field and was only good for two more catches, a big disappointment for the Nighthawks who should have pummeled the Monkeys into oblivion. The Drunk Monkeys, having been eliminated from the playoffs last week, came oh so close to handing the league leaders their second loss as the worst team in the league. The Nighthawks barely fly the coop on this one and eek out a win in the ugliest way finally overcoming the Drunk Monkeys 112 - 105.


Now we go Down Under for the Taipans and Gunners match up that had fire and ice throughout the course of the game. Last week the home field was in direct line of the raging bushfires and under threat of the stadium being burnt. Come game time, the fires were still surrounding the stadium but the usual 1 million people turned out for the game. Halfway through the game the heavens turned an ugly shade of green and the skies opened up with hail the size of baseballs.




The groundskeeper closed the roof of the stadium and after a short delay play resumed with the Taipans just blowing thee Guns of Hochuli away. While both teams had multiple players still on the field late Monday night, this game was over by halftime. Traditional divisional rivals were unable to rise to the standard we've come to expect as the Taipans lowers the boom on the Guns of Hochuli 156 - 105.

So with just a couple of weeks left in the regular season, we've got some issues at the end of Week Eleven. As yet, the top five teams are still in contention and none of them have cliched a play off berth yet. The Drunk Monkeys were eliminated last week and with favorable results the Nighthawks could have been the first team guaranteed into the playoffs. While the Nighthawks look like they are the team to beat, they've have two weeks now where the just haven't have that firepower that they are known for.

Right behind them on the ladder just one game back, the Who Dat Nation had been stalking the Nighthawks all season, and now in the last weeks. they may end up stealing the #1 from the Nighthawks, albeit they will need some help. The Who Dat Nation win over the Black Cats only gives them their first divisional win. While more probably they will be the #3 seed, the Nation can't be counted out. The Black Cats fall one game back of the Nation but have a better divisional record. These two teams will be relying on other games to sort out their final seeding at the end of the regular season.

The third of the close matchups is in the Sub Simmers division where the win by the Taipans moves them within a game of the Guns of Hochuli. Both teams have the same divisional record but the Taipans have scored more points than the Gunners. We could be looking at a third count back in this division if one of these teams doesn't take control of their destiny.

Tough decisions to be made for the Match of the Day. The Drunk Monkeys are taking on the depleted Guns of Hochuli, the Black Cats get to host the Taipans after they get out of the fires and hail, but our biggest game, possibly for the year, is the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Who Dat Nation at Wembley. The Nighthawks can wrap up the division and the #1 seed with a win over the Nation, but the Nation can force the issue into countback rules with a win. This is more than a Prime Time Game, as we may be watching a preview of the Torpedo Bowl final.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

This one has been a long time coming. This player has been right there, week after week with outstanding performances as an individual, but not supported by his team. This week, however, the entire squad showcased their A level game. For the effort of 8 receptions for 114 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 31.40 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Eleven MVT to Michael Thomas (WR) of the Who Dat Nation.

[Gut Wrench]

Best Game of the Year
...closest score ever!.


Week Twelve in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. You know the playoffs are just around the corner, but this week, we had to wait until the final whistle late Monday night before we would know where the top five teams would be ranked. That's right - the top 5 teams positioning was undecided until the final play of Monday night - and even then, we needed to go back and correctly aligned the teams before we go send this report to the presses.

Let's hear about this wild game being dubbed the best game of the year - right after we hear about these two important messages.


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When things are on the line, and the playoffs are just a couple of weeks away, rest assure, the Guns of Hochuli are going to show up, regardless of who their opposition is. This week the Drunk Monkeys hosted the Gunners. There had been speculation that Coach Thad (Monkeys) and Coach Casey (Gunners had actually gone an an all expenses paid vacation to the honeymoon capital of the world - Niagara Falls; but those rumors were put to rest when Coach Casey picked up three (3) players form the waiver wire, including Kareen Hunt (RB) Coach Casey really needed to pick up four in order to replace their kicker Harrison Butker (K) Butker was serving a one game suspension for eating too much ice cream at the team table. Monkeys, having been eliminated form the play offs, were wanting to play spoiler and it was in this role that this first game hinged on Stefan Diggs (WR) who was also serving a similar suspension. With both teams without their full compliment of players Monkeys jumped out early with Deshawn Watson (QB) who threw for 298 yards. Being just two yards short would be a theme for the weekend when Carson Wenzt (QB) finally took the field for the Gunners and had a miserable game scoring just 11 points. With the Monkeys leading it would come down to the Gunners booming receiving corps to drag the Gunners ahead of the Monkeys. Even with Justin Tucker (K) * playing on Monday night, the Gunners cruised to an easy win over the Drunk Monkeys 147 - 104. Their appearance and waiver claims this week has implications for the two teams in the next game.

In the Carolina's, Coach FYC and the Black Cats were hosting the Australian Taipans as they take on the longest away game series of the year. The Black Cats have set records going this far into the regular season as the Undisputed Ghost Team of the Year, ironically, displacing the Drunk Monkeys. You got the feeling early on that this was not going to be close after Matt Ryan (QB) scored 11 points for the game for the Cats, while Lamar Jackson (QB) had 20 points by the end of the first quarter for the Taipans. Having been unceremoniously beaten earlier in the season, the Taipans returned to fine form with a right royal skinning of the Cats. Were it not for George Kittle (TE) scoring 30 points on Sunday night, this would have been the largest margin of defeat in the history of the league. Final score: the Australian Taipans run away with the win against the Black Cats 179 -78.

And that leaves us with one game. This is the game that the world will talk about for years as the best game of Subsim Fantasy Football ever. But it's result could quite easily have been revered - we'll get to that in a moment.

The Who Dat Nation had slowly kept pace with the Helmand Nighthawks throughout the season, until the realization set in that they were only one game behind, but, behind on the countback having lost three times to divisional opponents. The Nations path to the playoffs required a win over the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks were on a two week losing streak and really needed to cement their place in the post season with the win. Late Sunday morning Mister Chris made four (4) changes to his team - but the one change he did not make was Bill Maher (K) and New England (DEF). This was only the second rookie mistake of the season, the last having been played by their opponent, the Who Dat Nation, the week before. While it wasn't a big loss in points, Maher (K) did take points away from the Nighthawks defense. Would that come into play?

Nighthawks started strong on Sunday morning but the Who Dat Nation came back and retook the lead shortly before lunch. The lead would swap three more times on Sunday and leaved the two teams in a battle with less that 2 points between them. Come Monday night, the Nation only had Mark Andrews (TE) to match up against the Nighthawks Cooper Kupp (WR). The lead changes twice during the Monday night. Andrews had a long 38 yard catch to give the Nation the lead, but Cupp. wasn't done. With just 2:13 remaining in the week. Cupp caught one last catch...for a whole 2 yards. If Cupp had gotten 3 yards, the end result would favor the Nighthawks. The shortage by Cupp plus the playing of Maher(K) and New England (D) would cost the Nighthawks the chance to wrap up the regular season and cement the #1 seed. As it was, these two teams set the closest score in the history of our game, beating the previous margin of win of 0.8 points set three (3) years ago. In the best game of the year, the Who Dat Nation scrape home against the Helmand Nighthawks, 164.14 - 163.98, a difference of 0.16.

Well done to both teams. But we have to talk about the impact of this game across the league. There are only two weeks left in the regular season and we still have a mess. Let's start at the bottom, and then come back to the top.

The Drunk Monkeys continue with their record losing season and are currently placed 6th. They have been eliminated form the playoffs.

Back to the top where it gets a little messy.

The Helmand Nighthawks still retain the league lead, but have not yet clinched a play off spot. They could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Who Dat Nation divisional record puts them in a hole if they need to go to the countback. They need to win their last two games and have some help to finish as the top seed. If they don't get it, they could fall out of of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Guns of Hochuli lead the Sub Simmers division by a game, but, they have not yet clinched. Their main opposition is one game behind them and they still have to play them again. The Gunners could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Black Cats are the best damm Ghost team ever, but that doesn't mean very much if they don't make the playoffs. While holding a divisional advantage over the Who Dat Nation, they can still win the division, and they could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Australian Taipans are the last team on the ladder, living week by week. At best, they could be the #2 team, but, they could also fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

All five teams are subject to falling out of the playoffs in the last two weeks. But if they win, well, there's too many variables at the moment to begin forecasting final positions. We'll have a better idea after next week.

As we head into the longest weekend of the football for the year, both the two international teams must travel to the United States as we celebrate Thanksgiving. This year, Thanksgiving occurs during Week 13 of the regular season, and someone's goose will be cooked this week. Their goose in fact could be finished by Thursday evening. We'll be covering the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation. Following the events of this week, these two teams could be fighting it out for the #1 seeding in the post season, or, they could also be trying to avoid being the second team eliminated. That's how close the tail end of this regular season has been. It has been wild, but we're not done with it yet.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Though the Nighthawks and Nations game was the marque matchup of the year, the marque player of the week did not come from that game. For the effort of 7 receptions for 184 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 43.40 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Twelve MVT to Chris Goodwin (WR) of the Guns of Hochuli.




*Wow. Two kicker references in the one paragraph!

[Gut Wrench]

Gunners Clinched Division
Two more clinch play off berths.


Week Thirteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. This was the longest week of football, no matter whether you team won or loss. For there was no team that won from the outset, there was no team who were behind from the start of the week, and most results were not decided until late in the week.

We'll go around the grounds one by one and see where your favorite team ended up, and the implications that this has for the play off seeding. And we'll do that right after this message.


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Last week the Helmand Nighthawks earned a record they didn't want - the smallest losing margin in the history of the league. That "hiccup" for the Nighthawks suddenly brought the entire league into a muddled mess. With a chance to close out the regular season as the #1 seed, they were unable to do it. This week the Nighthawks traveled to the Carolina's where the Black cats have shown they are now they best damm ghost team in the history of the league with their 6-6 record. The Cats were needing to get by the Nighthawks to make the play offs as their fantastic start to the season was now coming back to earth with a 3 game losing streak. Once again, we saw the Black Cats start two (2) players already ruled out of the season with genital herpes, but the Cats insist on starting their scabs. Matt Ryan (QB) was impressive for the Cats as they took an early lead on Thanksgiving Day, but the juggernaut of the Nighthawks were not going to be denied. Although the Nighthawks may be looking for a new kicker after Bill Maher (K) missed a field goal, the Nighthawks came to town to play for the post season. Lead by Aaron Rodgers (QB) the Nighthawks just rolled right through the Cats litter box and went on to earn a well deserved 141 - 122 win, to right their ship as they head into the final week. The win elevates the Nighthawks to the top of the league ladder, but they would have to wait on another game to know if the owned the leagues this year ... again.


Oregon was the state for the Who Dat Nation hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Who Dat Nation had ever so quietly kept pace with the Helmand Nighthawks throughout the season until they suddenly appeared and in contention for the league regular season winner. The Gunners, even more quietly, have made minimal changes to their team that included only their 7th change when they added Todd Gurley (RB) to the team. The Nation were on fire on Thanksgiving Day as Drew Brees (QB) once again lit up the scoreboard. This time, the Gunners sounded their bugles that they were not going to away as Carson Wenzt (QB) put in one of his finest performances of the season,. As the game went into Sunday the Gunners stole the lead away from the Nation when Gurley (RB) showed why he was added to the team as he rushed for 95 yards and a TD. The Gunners cemented the weekend when Devonte Hopkins (WR) passed for a TD late Sunday night. The Gunners cruised to an easy victory over the Who Dat Nation 150 - 105, and solidified their claim on the second strongest team in the league.

The final game of the week was one that carried no television broadcast - which turned out to be good thing given the embarrassment that the Taipans suffered at the hands of the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys have only one win this season as the second ghost team Their sole win came against the league leaders, and surely they couldn't win again? Having been eliminated from the playoffs, the Monkeys had nothing to loose playing spoiler. And spoil they did.

The Taipans started no one on Thanksgiving Day as the Monkeys were again, playing one started down. The Taipans suffered an indignation starting the Jets (DEF) and the Monkeys saw an opportunity to seize the lead. With outstanding playing from Deshawn Watson the Monkeys pummeled the Taipans but the for the valiant effort of Julian Edelmann (WR) to keep the game close. They only needed until the second quarter on Monday night for Stefan Diggs to get his first catch of the game to record the Monkeys second win of the season and their first win at home. In an defeat that will be talked about in two weeks time as the playoffs begin, the Taipans lost a game they had no business losing. Final score Drunk Monkeys 123 - Australian Taipans 118.

Wow. Week thirteen has certainly turned the league on it's head, and has significant implications for the playoffs. Let's start with the division where it's a little clearer - the Sub Simmers.

The win by the Drunk Monkeys does nothing for their cause except bragging rights. They were eliminated weeks ago and will finish out the season as the #6 team. No amount of wins or losses will change that.

The win by the Guns of Hochuli means that they are the first team to lock in to the playoffs. The win elevates the Gunners to 7-5 and with a two game lead, the Gunners become the first team to win a division. The Gunners will head into the post season as either the #1 or the #2 seed.


The loss by the Taipans puts them on the cusp of elimination. At 6-7 the Taipans must win next week to ensure they advance to the playoffs, or else, they go into a countback situation. As we predicted weeks ago, this is the team with the most to loose, having lost some games they had no business doing so.


Let's look at the Surface Skimmers division where the play off picture is a little more muddle.

The Helmand Nighthawks win elevates them to 9-4 and ensures they have a play off berth - which seeding they have is still undecided. The Nighthawks play the Drunk Monkeys next week where they are expected to win - however, one of the two Monkeys win this year has come against the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks will go into the playoffs as either the #1 or #3 seed.

The loss by the Who Dat Nation drops them back one game behind the Nighthawks at 8-4. The loss does secure them a playoff seeding, at worst as the #3 seed. But, they can still win the division. The Nation plays the Black Cats next week, their divisional rival, and in order to get to the countback, the Nation needs to win over the Black Cats and have the Nighthawks loose.

The third team in the Surface Skimmers division are the Black Cats. The Black cats are tied with the Taipans with a record of 6-7 and must win over the Nation - and then have some help, in order to make the playoffs. The Cats can only rise to the #4 seed, but a loss will eliminate them from the playoffs either on win loss record, or on a countback. As such, the Black Cats when they travel to Oregon to face the Who Dat Nation is our Match of the Week. With the potential #1 and elimination riding on the outcome, it's bound to be the best damm ghost appearance by the Cats.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

If ever there was a time for a player to show up, it was this week. For the effort of 243 yards, 3passing TD's, 1 reception for 6 yards and a recieving TD for a total of 33.36 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Thirteen MVT to Deshawn Watson (QB) of the Drunk Monkeys.