2016 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

[CaptainHaplo]

Go ahead and put the Black Cats name on the trophy now.....

[Gut Wrench]

WHO DAT NEEDS ALL OF THE NATION
Black Cats Claim Trophy in Week 1?

Week 1 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. First game, first opportunity, and judging by prior commentary, first bold statement of the year. We find out if the defending champions have what it takes, we'll look at the silent threat of the Gunners, and check out if the Cats can defend their pre week one engraving on the Torpedo Bowl

Before we look at anything, let's make sure that look at what's really important to this game.


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Week 1 and if you're based anywhere in the world outside of the continental United States, you're on the road. The first of our two foreign teams on the road from London are Mister Chris and the Helmands Nighthawks traveling the FurBall Path headed to meet the Black Cats. Coach Halo after making the wildest claim of "put our names on the trophy....before the season starts" backed up his claim for the trophy with a Week 1 stamping of assertion. The Cats, carrying less Panthers this year than ever before, began the season riding on the shoulders of Derek Carr (QB). An untried commodity against the once glorious Nighthawk Russell Wilson (QB), Carr was able to throw for over 300 yards and put two of his wide receivers, Jordy Nelson and Kelvin Benjamin into the endzone more times than the Nighthawks.

We always seem to have this same conversation year after year, where the question do the Black Cats have the legs to go all the way. Usually the week after we question them the Cats come out and stomp their opposition, so this year, we're going to put the Black Cats victory down to a well oiled piece of machinery, churning it's way through the league beginning with the surprise demolition of the Helmand Nighthawks. Black Cats win their home opener 122 - 108.

Guns of Hochuli got to stay at home this weekend also based on Coach Thad forgetting the draft. You gotta show up for the draft Thad, or you'll end up picking a defense in the first round. Gunners this years are lead by Big Ben (QB) who return to the team after a few years of some other substandard teams. The Drunk Monkeys are no slouch having drafted the returning from injury Andrew Luck (QB), but they had no help when they started suspended Le'Veon bell (RB). Again, we find ourselves Monday Night Quarterbacking some poor choices. Had Coach Thad chosen a Running Back that had any points, he could have reduced the score line and put himself into the running for a win. No running back, no win, and the Drunk Monkeys fall to the Guns of Hochuli 136 - 149. Gunners get the win and look forward to the Defending Champions the Who dat Nation, to determine if they sit alone at the top of the division after Week 1.

Our Match of the Day, as always for Week 1, features our defending Champions staying at home against a really good team. Somehow a really good team was unavailable and the Australian Taipans were scheduled in their place. The Who Dat Nation was favored by 50 points, it didn't even look like it would be a close game. But it was, Drew Brees (QB) set the tone for the Who Dat Nation by coming out and just lighting up the scoreboard with 44 points. The Nation could have had more points if they hadn't make a rookie mistake in starting Justin Landry (WR) and Seattle (Defense). Fortunately for Coach FuelForBlood, they two didn't cancel each other out. The Taipans however got off to a wild start before the game even started, having to trade out two starters, and then losing two more starters to injury during the game. But they stayed with their game working against the Tide and putting up one of the most recent record losing score. If they had played anyone else, they would have had the W, but instead, fall short late on Monday Night when Todd Gurley (RB) gets shut out. Who Dat Nation opens the season off with a high scoring, but less than convincing win against the Taipans 186 - 163.

So, at the end of week 1, here's how the league looks: half the teams are 1-0, the other half are 0-1.

Next week, we head across the Atlantic to the home of the American British team, the Helmand Nighthawks, as they play the Australian American team, the Taipans in our Match of the Week. The two internationals go head to head, once again, early in the season but this time, both teams are trying to get to 1-1.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 8 receptions for 126 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 38.6 points (and was still not the highest individual score of the week) , the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Antonio Brown of the Who Dat Nation, the Week One MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

WHO DAT SMASHED
Can You Hear The Guns Now?

Week 2 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and it looks like we have a number of firsts this week. First beat down of our defending champion, first claim of ownership for a new champion, and sadly, first appearance of a ghost tea, - and it isn't even Halloween yet.

We'll go around the grounds and check in on all the action, just as soon as we bring you this very important message.


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Week 2 in the Subsim Fantasy league, as we start to grind our way towards the elusive Torpedo Bowl. Some teams will be challengers, others will wax and wain, and if you are the Drunk Monkeys, you might even try to show up once in a while cause you got 5 wins last year without doing squat. Of course this week, you got your buckshot handed to you by the Black Cats. Coach FYC was on fire this week, with his divisional opponents facing off against one another, it was an opportunity to go one game ahead which looks like all three teams are going to show up this year. At the hand of Cam Newton (QB) the Black Cats carved out a wretched path of destruction against the Drunk Monkeys; not even 22 points by the Broncos (Def) could help Coach Thad this week as the Cats demolished the Monkeys.

"Whoo hoo, **** yeah, how about them apples, you piece of crap Gut Wrench."



The media senses that Coach FYC is not a fan of our writing, so rather than antagonize the Cat (this week), we'll just tip our heat and say "we're impressed" as the Black Cats dismantle the Drunk Monkeys 162 - 119. Black Cats advance to 2-0, and share of the League Lead and sole outright ownership of the division.

Back on home soil, the Guns of Hochuli were hosting the defending champions the Who Dat Nation in what is being predicted as the possible Torpedo Bowl match up. I certainly hope come December it's a little more exciting that this time cause the Nation were sent packing. The Gunners at 1-0, like the Black Cats, were looking to put away their divisional rival and take a share of the ownership of the league. And that they did with a systematic demolition of the Nation. With only two of the Gunners starting team not scoring double digit points (AJ Green (WR) and Mark Ingram (RB)), they were in part helped to a very comfortabel win with the implosion of RB Doug Martyon and Arian Foster for a combined score of 3.8. Even the Nation's Blair Walsh (K) scored more points than that (6 to be exact). Gunners humiliate the Who Dat Nation 121 - 78.

Our Match of the Day was in London where the Helmand Nighthawks were hosting the Australian Taipans on their first "round the world" away trip. Nighthawks started early on Thursday with future potential QB Julian Edelmann (WR) scoring first. With the balance of Brandon Marshall and Dez Bryant (WR) the Nighthawks simply outscored the Taipans at every position, except for Kicker where the Taipans scored 17.50 with Graham Gano. For the second week in a row, the Taipans get beaten by a team putting up another record score. Helmand Nighthawks take the first of the divisional match ups in London to cut the Taipans 162 - 132.

So where does that leave us?

The Gunners and Black Cats at 2-0 share the league lead. Nighthawks win the count back for 3rd position over the Who Dat Nation also at 1-1. Only because the Nation have less points for than against them. Tapins come in at 5th having scored more points than any other team, but also, having more points scored against them by other teams. Drunk Monkeys bring up the Ghostly rear.

Next week, we will have one team with sole ownership of the league as the Guns of Hochuli stay home against the Black cats. With both teams at 2-0, this game becomes pivotal in Week 3 as it is the only meeting between the Gunners and the Cats all year.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 353 passing yards, 37 rushing yards and 4 touchdowns, for a total of 44.32 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Cam Newton of the Black Cats the Week Two MVT.

[CaptainHaplo]

Coach FYC is indeed a huge fan of the Subsim Fantasy Football reports!

Not so much a fan of the injury bug though! 2 RB's both injured - what's up with that?

Its ok - the Black Cats have officially doubled the yahoo prediction on wins. Take that, Yahoo!

[Gut Wrench]

TAIPANS GET ONE BACK AGAINST WHO?
Do Gunners Own the League Yet?

Week 3 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. And between a rewrite of all three games, and the amount of traffic leaving the Superdome tonight, it's a wonder that anyone can get a Fantasy Football Report written, but we have. We'll tell you about the almost greatest comeback ever seen, who almost coughed up a furball and which team was lucky to be playing the Ghosts this week.

But before we do any of that, let's hear the immortal words from both Presidential Candidates in tonight mass debate.


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Wee 3 in the Subsim Fantasy Football league and the Taipans finally come home to their opening game. After having been marginally beaten on two different continents, the Taipans were trying to stop the landslide by getting one back against their Week 1 rivals, the Who Dat Nation. The Taipans started brilliantly on Thursday night with the New England Defense scoring 27 points (who'd have picked that?) Taipans have been decimated by injuries early ( haven't we all heard that before) but they went out and finally declared their weekend over at 162.20. Coach Pioneer said to the Coach Fuel For Blood "You think you're good enough, come and get it."

Holy crap, Drew Brees (QB) and Devonte Freeman (RB) went after the Taipans, collectively scoring 75 combined points, and only needing Brandon Cooks (WR) of the Nation to bring in the last remaining five or so points. Uh, hello, calling Mister Cooks, where were you? At a lousy 3.9 points, Cooks failed to deliver the last piece of one of the biggest run downs ever seen in fantasy football, to leave the Who Dat Nation short by 1.16 point. From 90 points back they ran down the Taipans but come up 11 yards short. Taipans narrowly get one back, beating the Who Dat Nation 162.2 - 161.04.

Coach Pioneer said after the game "We we're lucky."

Our Match of the Day this week was the Black Cats hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Furballs and the Gunners only meeting this year drew considerable interest from around the league as they watched one spartan and one almost spartan go blow for blow. The Cats were relying on Cam Newton (QB) who scored modestly, however, it was the selection of Kelvin Benjamin, currently on PTO to attend the Presidential Debate, which shocked the league, scoring a big fat score of 0. With a final tally of 122.68 points, the Cats were not yet assured the victory with the Gunners RB of Mark Ingram still to play. Ingram came out and played, ran, caught a touchdown and a 2 point point conversation to swing the Monday night final result to the Gunners favor. A closer than expected win for the Gunners after Big Ben (QB) choked earlier in the weekend on a furball. Final score Guns of Hochuli 128.48 - Black Cats 122.68.

The Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are not yet convinced on either team being the dominate force this year, so we'll have a look at one more game, which was also decided late Monday night.

The Ghost Team of the Drunk Monkeys were hosting the Helmand Nighthawks back on the North American continent after a one game home stand in England. The Nighthawks, surprisingly, only put up 123 points. The Monkeys' even though they started suspended RB Le'Von bell, still had Julio Jones (WR) to play on Monday night, and this game also looked like it was going to down to the wire. From the broadcast booth, I repeatedly had to check the tally sheet on Jones throughout the night just to make sure I wasn't missing any catches. Only 1? Who the hell only brings in one catch on a Monday night? Oh, that's right, the Drunk Monkeys, who had a chance to steal a game from the Nighthawks, but fell short. Nighthawks win this one 123 - 114 and can count themselves lucky to have done so.

So after a quarter of the way through the season, let's check the Arnold Palmer Memorial Scorecard and see where the leaders and bogeys lay.

The Guns of Hochuli at 3-0 lead the league and hold a two game lead in their division. Unless the Ghost Team returns to life, the Gunners are in a two horse race to win that division.

The Black Cats and the Helmand Nighthawks are tied at 2-1 both within the league and within their division. The Surface Skimmers division this year looks to be a scrappy affair, where any of the three teams could win the division.

The Who Dat nation and the Australian Taipans are 1-2 and in their respective divisions and need to do some work to catch up. The Nation are two games behind the Gunners, while the Taipans who have scored more points than anyone else, and have also had more points scored against them than anyone else.

The Drunk Monkeys sit at the bottom of the ladder at 0-3 waiting for their coach to show up, again.

Next week, we go back to merry old England as the league makes the Who Dat Nation cross the world from their game in Australia, as the Nighthawks host the Oregon based team. Both teams need a win to stay in contact with the Gunners, and yet, both teams do not need a loss.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 205 passing yards, 4 touchdowns and the important 22 rushing yards for the win, for a total of 33.40 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Aaron Rodgers of the Australian Taipans the Week Three MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

OMG - MONKEYS WIN?
Statisticians Update?

Week 3 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. And a challenge has been made.

Upheld.

Score revision, Drunk Monkeys win 114 - 107.

[Gut Wrench]

DRUNK MONKEYS GO BANANAS
Ghost Team rises in standings.

Week 4 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League...and the other journalists are all talking about.

"Hey Gut Wrench, can't you read?"

"Hey Gut Wrench, pay attention."

"You need glasses."

...and yes, all of the above is correct. To the Drunk Monkeys and the Helmand Nighthawks, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are profoundly apologetic for their error in last weeks report, and have no idea at all how I ballsed up the score so badly.

And in honor of that, we humbly request your acceptance of our apology with the following message.


DONATE TO SUBSIM...SO GUT WRENCH CAN SEE WHAT HE'S WRITING.

Not really, just donate.

On with the show.

This weeks Match of the Day was back at Wembley where after a count back, the Helmand Nighthawks fell to 1-2, and were hosting the Who Dat Nation. After getting last weeks statistics wrong, the Nighthawks came out and just belted the Nation with three players scoring over 20 individual points. With Kirk Cousins passing for 3 touchdowns (22 points) Emanuel Sanders receiving 88 yards and one touchdown (22 points) and Ezekiel Elliot rushing for 138 yards and 1 touchdown (28 points) the Nighthawks set last years champion a sizeable target to chase down. The Who Dat Nation were relying on Drew Brees (QB) to have a 500 yard day (right division, wrong team) but only managed to score 16 points. Melvin Gordon (RD) and Antonio Brown (WR) carried the Nighthawks for a combined 56 points, but the remainder of the team, suffering jet lag and Newcastle Ale hangover, just didn't live up to expectations. The Nighthawks take back their loss from the previous week from the Who Dat Nation, outscoring them 140 - 116.

Back on the homeland, the Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Australian Taipans. Until this week the Taipans have scored more points than anyone else, but alas, have also had more points scored against them than anyone else resulting in a losing record. The Gunners sitting at 3-0 with sole ownership of the league were looking to put themselves two games clear of everyone with a sizeable win against the foreign imports. Gunners started quickly Thursday night with AJ GReen (WR) going for 173 yards and 1 touchdown for 39 points. Taipans never really got off the ground, and with several players injured, left the gate wide open for the Gunners to bookend the week with a statement performance by Ben Rothlisberger (QB) of 300 yards and 5 touchdowns for 48.90 points. Taipans have yet another team score big against them as the Guns of Hochuli easily account for them, 167 - 100. Guns of Hochuli move to next week salivating for their next victim.

The big show however, was from Coach Thad's team. On the road against the Black Cats, the Drunk Monkeys proved that last weeks accounting error was mo misnomer as they set about putting the Black Cats in a coma. Cats QB Cam Newton was injured during the game, depriving the Cats a points scoring machine. In retaliation, Drunk Monkeys WR Julio Jones set the world on fire, and carrying their team to a second consecutive win, even though Eddie Lacey (RB) was a non starter. I think we had this conversation last year, just what could the Drunk Monkeys do if they showed up? Drunk Monkeys obliterate the Black Cats 148 - 109.

So last week the mix up with the Drunk Monkeys created controversy in the scoring department, so we need to look closely at just where our teams stand.

The Guns of Hochuli stand alone at the top of the league at 4-0. They are 2-0 over their divisional opponents and hold a two game lead over everyone else in the league. Now emerging as the favorite for the Torpedo Bowl.

Now in second place it's a mess, so we'll carve it up so that it presents the most interesting approach possible. Three teams sit at 2-2 and remarkable, the Drunk Monkeys (SubSimmers Division) are ahead on for and against (How on earth is THAT possible?) The Black Cats and the Nighthawks sit at 2-2 wrestling for the Surface Skimmers Division lead, with the Cats winning it on a half game divisional advantage.

At the bottom of the table at 1-3 are the Australian Taipans, and last years champion the Who Dat Nation. The Taipans relinquish most points scored this week the Guns of Hochuli, but still retain most points scored against. The Taipans and Nation have split their series 1-1, so the Nation is relegate to 6th. The defending Torpedo Bowl Champions are in last place a quarter of the way through the season. Unbelievable.

With the table reset, we now need to look at where to go for next weeks best match up. Should we go to Australia to see if the Taipans can stop the Monkeys? Do we slip down to Carolina to watch two prior champions battle? Nope, we're heading to the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. Despite the statistical information, this match looks like being the traditional slug em out powerhouse football we've come to expect of these two stalwarts.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Hard not to pick the champion this week. For the effort of 12 receptions for 300 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 54 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Julio Jones of the Drunk Monkeys the Week Four MVT.

[Gargamel]

I've served my 4 game (plus Thursday's (tonight's) game I missed) suspension for a coach using PED's. Who woulda thunk it that high doses of caffeine weren't a TUE allowance in the subsim league?!

[Gut Wrench]

NIGHTHAWKS SILENCE GUNNERS
Coach Garagamel returns (finally)

Week 5 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and there are lots of questions being asked.

Can Coach Gargamel hold on for the next eight weeks? Have the Nighthawks served notice on the Gunners? And who devised the schedule that two teams meet in consecutive weeks?

Yes, all these and the big questions of the week, will be answered, right after we bring you the most important message since the Presidential Debate.


VOTE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM...WE DIDN'T DELETE ANY EMAILS AND WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT ANY WOMAN.

On to the important stuff.

This weeks Match of the Day brings about the strangest anomaly for these two teams...again. The Guns of Hochuli meet each other in back to back weeks, this week the Gunners stay home and the Nighthawks fly in. Next week the Nighthawks host the Gunners in England. Confusing? Apparently so 'cause the Gunners were silenced this week in such dramatic fashion, that it even keeps the The Who Dat Nation in the hunt. Gunners rode on the shoulder on their Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger who scored an individual 42 points. The Wide Receiving Corps for the Gunners stumbled a little with not very many yards and only one receiving touchdown between them. In any other league the Gunners 132 point score would be respectable for a win, but not in the Subsim League. Gunners running back pair of Ezekiel Elliott and David Johnson rushed for a combined 291 yards and 4 touchdown, to do the damage right up the middle. And as if to say "You people should never have revolted", the Nighthawks stay on and just pip the highest score in the league this year. Nighthawks on the road defeat the Gunners 188 - 132. Next week the two teams meet again in Wembley, England.

Rumors have been abound for the last four weeks about the location of Coach Gargamel. Jail? House arrest? Hospital? Truth of the matter has been disclosed that in true money grabbing fashion, Coach Gargamel has been phoning in his plays after a stalemate on his pay. Coach was asking for more bananas, whereas the club just wanted pay him more money. The Drunk Monkeys have played on however and made the long trek south to take on the Australian Taipans. The Taipans, who it seems has had everybody put up record scores, were on track to be the basement dwellers of the league. Taipans finally put the bite on the slippery slope and stop the bleeding by taking care of business at home. Monkeys swung into town and made a rookie mistake, starting Julio Jones (WR) and Denver (DEF). While Jones didn't hurt the equation, the mathematics behind it was anything but common core. Taipans put up another good score, and this time, don't get the crap beaten out of them. Taipans win 158 - 113.

Now the one game that was off everyone's radar were the Who Dat Nation hosting the Black Cats. Both teams are previous champions but have struggled to regain that form that had seen them take home the crown. Who Dat Nation sits at the bottom of the ladder with just one win - which they were lucky to get. Black Cats were without their starting QB, Cam Newton, as he serves a one week suspension for violation of the Subsim League Jackass Policy for headbutting a rhinoceros last week. Black Cats coach FYC must have known something about this game, he even started without a kicker so supremely confident he was.

"We don't need no stinking kicker," he said. "We'll run them over."

And they did. Black Cats respond to Who Dat Nation Tom Brady (QB) throwing for over 400 yards by scoring points right across the board. Cats shed the bottom of the ladder as they stride past the Nation 150 - 118.

Now, this week has shaken up the standings just a bit, and in one division, it's back up for grabs.

The loss by the Gunners stops the artillery barrage at 4-1, but they still hold both the best record in the league and the division. After that, it become a little messy.

With all three teams in the Surface Skimmers Division winning this week, there's a status quo about the Cats, Nighthawks and Taipans. However, with all three teams in the Sub Simmers Division losing, those three teams are now without one or two games of the league lead. That division is going to be black and blue by the end of the season.

The Drunk Monkeys after going 2-2 as a Ghost team, are now steadily under the helm of Coach Gargamel, and drop immediately to 2-3. Maybe he should have waited another week? The real surprise of the season is the Who Dat Nation at 1-3, three games out of the division lead. The Nation might be in trouble now that Coach Gargamel has returned, and could face the prospect of Championship Elimination if they don't get their scoring mojo back on again. Nation needs a win to get their season back on track.

And that's exactly where we're going next week for the Match of the Week as the Drunk Monkeys welcome home Coach Gargamel with the their first prime time broadcast of the year hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Monkeys after starting miraculously at 2-2 can put two games between them and the Who Dat Nation with a win. The Nation however will have other ideas as they try to stop their four game losing streak and stay in the hunt. This divisional game will have some implications as both teams need to avoid a loss to stay in contact with Guns of Hochuli.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 157 rushing yards, 3 receptions for 28 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 39.5 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present David Johnson of the Helmand Nighthawks the Week Five MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO
Monkeys Dominate The Nations

Week 6 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and the crowds were on hand to see some thumping fantasy football this weekend. We'll talk about the team starting to pull away from the rest of the league, the team anchoring the bottom of the league, and, alas, the surprising team that is once again purring ahead of their division.

In this election year, there's only one more thing you need to do.

VOTE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM...'CAUSE WE DIDN'T GRAB ANYTHING.

The censors wouldn't let me write what I wanted, but you get the meaning.

Speaking of small black furry things, Black Cats hosting the Australian Taipans for the second time this year, and just like it was earlier, the Black Cats showed the foreigners just exactly how it's done. Lead by the Almost Panther team, the Black Cats this week were dominated by Buffalo McCoy (RD) who just ran through the Taipans, again and again and again. Taipans still can't catch a break (maybe they're the Cubs of the FF?) as the Cats stacked the scoring box with two of the highest scoring individual points of the year. And the Cats needed it too, after Travis Benjamin (WR) and the Panthers (DEF) coughed up furballs with low and negative scores respectively. Black Cats get their second divisional win against the same divisional opponentbeating the Taipans 147 - 129.

Our Match of the Day saw 200,000 fans turn out to Chad Stadium to welcome home their long lost Coach Gargamel from a tour of the North Atlantic. Drunk Monkeys were decked out in their historic jerseys of all brown and bright red rumps as they hosted the failing Who Dat Nation. The Nation opened the season off with a win but have been on a season long downhill slide since. Monkeys showed the Nation how it's done with Julio Jones (WR) once again showing why he's worth the high draft pick by scoring another 32 points to his yearly total. The Who Dat Nation were lead by Tom Brady (QB) who top scored with 37 points and three touchdowns. However, it was their entire WR, RB and TE Corp that didn't score a single touchdown that left their Defense of the Eagles to score their only remaining TD. Drunk Monkey Nation goes bananas as Gargamel and the Monkeys move into a play off position at 3-3.

The blockbuster of the week was the match between the Guns of Hochuli and the Helmand Nighthawks. Gunners currently own the league, just barely, having had some favorable lower scoring wins, but they knew that the Nighthawks would leave nothing on the table this week as they set out to prove the dominate firepower. Gunners delayed their start, opting not to play in Thursday nights choke fest, which hampered the Nighthawks who scored below par. Unfortunately, the Nighthawks made a classic rookie mistake of playing Brandon Marshall (WR) and the Cardinals (DEF) against each other. Desperate they were to mount a come back on Monday Night, there was only so much that David Johnson (RB) could do to chase down the Gunners lead. Nighthawks come up short on Monday night and allow the Guns of Hochuli to steal one away 155 - ???

As we approach the halfway point of the season, we'll look at each of the division racers and try to dissect what's going on.

In the Sub Simmers division, the Guns of Hochuli at 5-1 hold a two game lead and control their destiny. The return of Coach Gargamel has a death knoll about it as the Who Dat Nation were expected to at least contest for the division lead. The return of Coach Gargamnel and his two game winning streak puts the Monkeys at .500 at 3-3. The Who Dat Nation appear to be choking in a vat of bourbon as they close out the division at 1-5, and are already two divisional games behind the Monkeys. The Monkeys are setting themselves up for one of the biggest shocks of the year if they can bundle the Nation out of the Championship Playoffs.

Over in the Surface Skimmers division, it's not so clear. The Black Cats sit atop the division at 4-2, but have scored almost the identical number of points as the other two teams int he division. The separator in the division has been the points scored against. The Helmand Nighthawks sit at 3-3 and one game further back are the Taipans who have had almost a game and a half of points scored against them when compared to the Black Cats. With only two games separating the Cats, Nighthawks and Taipans, this division is a little cloudy to predict, but if the Taipans don't stop the loss rout, it will be a Cats and Nighthawks decider.

And that is exactly where we'll be going to next Weeks Match of the Day, Black Cats will be hosting the Helmand Nighthawks in Carolina as they arm wrestle for control of the division. A win by the Cats puts some purring distance over the other two teams, but a loss brings the Divisional Lead back into contention again. This may end up being a key game which will decide the Divisional Title, and we're only half way through the season.

Just imagine what the next half will bring to the league.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 157 rushing yards, 8 receptions for 222 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 46.2 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present O'Dell Beckham Junio of the Guns of Hochuli the Week Six MVT.