Why Men Lie Up and Women Lie Down

[Gerald]

Both men and women lie, but they lie about different (and predictable) things.

Whether in personal ads or in face-to-face conversations, men tend to lie about their earnings and their height. In contrast, women tend to lie about their age and their weight. And both men and women often lie about the number of sexual partners they have had in their lives.

On all of these dimensions, men typically lie upwards and women typically lie downwards. Men pretend that they make more money than they actually do, they pretend that they are taller than they actually are, and they pretend that they have had more sexual partners than they actually have. In contrast, women pretend that they are younger than they actually are, they pretend that they are lighter than they actually are, and they pretend that they have had fewer sexual partners than they actually have.

Of all these dimensions, height is the only one that stays more or less the same throughout adult life. All the other dimensions only increase with time. Age by definition increases uniformly and equally with time. Most people's earnings increase with age and experience. Because metabolism slows down with age, most people become heavier as they get older. And the lifetime number of sexual partners cannot decrease and usually increases with time.

In other words, women lie and pretend to be what they used to be before in the past, whereas men lie and pretend to be what they will be in the future (or what they hope to become in an alternate universe or in their fantasy).

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...women-lie-down


Note: Published on May 8, 2011

[Jaguar]

I guess an evolutionary biologist would say we lie to improve our chances to reproduce. Our genes think we still live on an African savannah, after health the best characteristic to males is protection (hence earnings and height) and to females is youth.

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Jaguar

I guess an evolutionary biologist would say we lie to improve our chances to reproduce. Our genes think we still live on an African savannah, after health the best characteristic to males is protection (hence earnings and height) and to females is youth.

Yes, could be a likely explanation

[AVGWarhawk]

Sounds like insecurity issues to me.

[Jaguar]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

Sounds like insecurity issues to me.

If you are relatively young, tall, strong and rich = yes. Otherwise not, you just want to get laid .

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Jaguar

If you are relatively young, tall, strong and rich = yes. Otherwise not, you just want to get laid .

I'm not any of those things, and except for young I never have been. That aside, the only thing I've ever seriously lied about was my activities, some of which I wasn't proud of.

[DarkFish]

Originally Posted by Vendor

Men [...] pretend that they are taller than they actually are

And why would I want to do that?

Seriously, 1.89m (6 ft 2.5 in) is tall enough

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by DarkFish

And why would I want to do that?

Seriously, 1.89m (6 ft 2.5 in) is tall enough

You may grow up some more, I may use binoculars to look down on you,

[Jaguar]

Originally Posted by DarkFish

And why would I want to do that?

Seriously, 1.89m (6 ft 2.5 in) is tall enough

I´m 1,98m but would very much like to make more money than I actually do.

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Jaguar

I´m 1,98m but would very much like to make more money than I actually do.

Everything is not just about length and money, but "some" may suggest that length may play a role,

[Jaguar]

Originally Posted by Vendor

Everything is not just about length and money, but "some" may suggest that length may play a role,

Indeed . Shall we not enter in details about it ok?

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Jaguar

Indeed . Shall we not enter in details about it ok?

It feels as if the thread is entitled "hot" as it is, without any details,

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Jaguar

If you are relatively young, tall, strong and rich = yes. Otherwise not, you just want to get laid .

In part, yes.

At one time I'd tell'em I'm hung like a light switch. I never got many dates when I said that.

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

In part, yes.

At one time I'd tell'em I'm hung like a light switch. I never got many dates when I said that.

Me neither...I used to compare it to a swans neck with a kittens head at the end...they never hung around long

[jumpy]

Originally Posted by Vendor

Yes, could be a likely explanation

For my own experience and observation, it is easy to lie to people you don't know - they mean nothing to you so why should they matter? Lying to strangers is easy and probably quite commonplace. Motivation varies from self preservation to self interest, generally superficial in nature with little in the way of personal consequences for either party.

Lying to someone you know is more complex. For friends, it varies in severity but still matches lying to strangers in motivation and consequences, offset by knowledge of the person and how much the social bonds could be damaged as a result.

Lying to someone you love is a flagrant denial of those feelings from either side of the relationship (ie loving someone, or being loved yourself). For me it is something I cannot do and never have been able to, even when perhaps it would have been to my advantage to do so.

I don't mean those superficial 'white lies' that serve merely to grease the social wheels and in effect more clearly delineate your bonds in a relationship -
her: does my bum look big in this?
him: no.
She looks for reassurance from someone who's opinion is important to her, but the truth is less so than the response, whilst he thinks the question is empty but responds with a positive because he knows that is what she wants to hear from him.

The 'Lie of Omission' is probably the worst in a relationship - it undermines the very best of the other person and bolsters the self-righteousness of the reasoning for the lie in the first place.
Omitting to tell the truth is still just a lie, the only difference is that it is more subtle and complete a lie than the others - the lie is simultaneous: you lie to the other person and yourself.

Perhaps it is because I'm a bloke - and therefore have no intimate experience of being involved with another bloke, thus my reasoning is skewed by only seeing this in women - but women lie more often and more completely than men, particularly when they believe a relationship has failed - it can be months before they will act on their belief and in the mean time the lie of omission is king. Motivation is simple and starts at the beginning - self preservation and self interest.

For this, I believe the old stereotypes are correct - men are basically quite simple in their nature and interest, whilst women are the exact opposite.

But I can simplify this: people lie /end.