Il2 COD Tsunami

[Hottentot]

Ha, I knew I still had it on my computer somewhere! I got this text by email a long time ago and back then thought that whoever wrote it must have been a pissed off sim enthusiast. Reading this again made me appreciate the fact that the forums I frequent don't have these. Well, most of these anyway...

How to recognize a forum whiner?

Topic is agressive/frustrated. "OoW (Object of Whining) sucks!!!!!111"

Topic is started after being beaten in an online match.

Topic includes word under- or overpowered. "OoW is underpowered!", "OoW is overpowered". Can also include words "Über" (usually spelled "Uber") or "Nerfed".

Whiner's side is always underpowered or nerfed. The opposing side is always overpowered or uber.

If it is possible to play two different sides in the game (for example Allied and Axis) a forum whiner always plays only one side and ardently refuses to play the other.

In some cases may insult the players of the other side with funny historical names, for example referring to the players of the axis side as "Nazis". Especially true if these particular individuals happen to disagree with the whiner.

If a disagreeing person can't be insulted with anything personal, he can always be called fanboy. For example "Why am I wasting my time here, arguing with the fanboys?!"

Also if a disagreeing person can't be insulted with anything personal, he can always be called "n00b" because the whiner has bigger post count.

Can't be proven wrong. When in doubt, starts calling the opposition by names.

Freedom of speech in forums means that you are allowed to call anyone who disagrees with you with most colorful and imaginary insults and accuse them of flaming when they use similar insults against you.

Gets banned for insulting the other forum members on regular basis. Will come back after a while to demand his freedom of speech and accuse the moderators for being fascists (and usually fanboys too).

If a player of the other side starts a topic discussing the possible problems of his side, no matter how the opinion is expressed, a forum whiner will always come to the thread and shout "Stop whining lol!!!!111".

Will try to change every possible thread's topic to discuss the apparent problems of the game. Even if the original topic was about how cute the kittens are.

Believes in a big global conspiracy against his country, especially if the game is not made in whiner's country.

Politics is a topic related to EVERYTHING.

Loves the word "patch". "Where is my patch?!", "Fix this in the patch!" "Why is the patch late again?!"

Quotes a long post as a whole and says "Disagree".

Creates a thread about the same topic every week even when the old thread(s) is/are still active.

If whining about anything being underpowered, puts the word "my" in front of the OoW. For example "My Tiger tank is underpowered!" or "My P-51 should be much better!"

If the game has historical context (World War II for example), whiner always finds quotes and numbers to support his claims and happily ignores all the quotes and numbers that are against his claims.

Whiner will always find an ace who flew whiner's favourite plane/drove his favourite tank/commanded his favourite naval vessel. After that whiner will start a topic where he will loudly wonder why he can't do exactly as well in the game as the ace did in real life after playing for whole five minutes.

Whiner will always find smaller whiner to admire and support him.

Whiner will always find someone from the other side and call him whiner.

If the game gets a sequel, it sucks. Period. If it is somehow different to the original game it's not canonical enough and if it's similar to the original game, it's just a clone meant for ripping off innocent customers.

Whiner knows the sequel sucks years before it has been released. Will still buy the sequel and play it for an hour. After that will rush to the forums and create ten threads which all containt the same "I told you so" message.

If possible to have an answer from the dev. team (and sometimes even when it isn't), whiner will insult them and loudly accuse them of bias.

The first post of the topic includes sentence "Dev. team should fix this!"

Expects the dev. team to apologize and correct "the problem" within an hour.

Has many persons. For example "We pay your wages so you should listen to what we want" or "We don't like this!"

Always wants new playable stuff because it's "vital" and the game "is not complete without it." After getting it, comes back in a month demanding something else.

Complains about playable stuff he got for free in a patch because he isn't interested in it. Starts demanding something else (see previous.)

If the new playable stuff is interesting, it's not modelled correctly (most often it's underpowered or nerfed).

Knows everything about game making and how easy it is to create new content for any game. Still refuses to contribute anything himself.

Everything said by the dev. team is a promise. If "the promise" is not fulfilled, the dev. team is just a sorry bunch of liars.

Will threaten not to buy the future products and/or leave the forum for good if "the problem" is not fixed.

Even if the whiner leaves, he will always be back in less than a week to let everyone know how much the game being discussed sucks.

[NeonSamurai]

Originally Posted by Hottentot

Ha, I knew I still had it on my computer somewhere! I got this text by email a long time ago and back then thought that whoever wrote it must have been a pissed off sim enthusiast. Reading this again made me appreciate the fact that the forums I frequent don't have these. Well, most of these anyway...

That list takes me back to WW2 Online and the first 6 months after release. The amount of whining that came from the allied camp was unbelievable. Especially when considering that they had some of the better equipment of the war at the time.

The most laughable was when they were whining about the "glass gun char b". The Char B was a near indestructible monster to German tanks, even at pointblank range (like 5 yards away) shooting at its key weak points, the thing would still go on. The only effective way to stop it (other than an 88 gun), was to shoot out its guns at close range. So the allies started a massive whining campaign about the char having a glass gun, and got the devs to make the char's gun invulnerable in the end (and only for the char).

[Hottentot]

Aye, I think stuff like that is bound to happen in any such online game. I had no trouble recognizing some things from the good old Ubizoo IL-2 forum when reading that and I think there was a jab or two at Fallout 3 too.

That's one of the reason I like Silent Hunter 3. If a boat in it is modelled wrong, then at least it's modelled wrong for all of us. While I'm still hoping for a new Destroyer Command and could even find its multiplayer aspect interesting, I can only wonder if we would start getting similar topics too. Or maybe not here, but in the official forum. Were there any with the original DC and SH 2 combo?

The problem is that people want balance. Or no, that's not a problem, but in fact it contains two problems itself. One of them is that life isn't balanced. You go against an F-16 with a Fokker D.XXI and you're very likely to get blown to bits. But some people still insist that it should be a balanced fight, because otherwise the game isn't fun. The other thing is that their idea of "balance" is having a plane or whatever with which they couldn't lose even if they sank it into a pool of lava. I haven't ever seen anyone in any forum crying for balance that would make the opposing side's assets more challenging for the topic starter.

And unfortunately sometimes the loudest are the ones that get listened to. I'm afraid it will eventually happen with this title too. In some cases I think it happened with IL-2 too.

[Dowly]

Ah yes, WWIIOL. So much whine (and I have done it myself too... bloody lazors in Allied fighters! ), especially love the start of campaigns.

Allies: LOLOLOLOL!!11 We r pwning you!

Come tier 1/2 and Axis starts to have stuff to fight back the allied armor zerg.

Allies: WTF!? THIS IS BS!!

Come Tier 3/4 and Axis starts to push west.

Allies: Come on Rats! Do something about this! It's ridiculous!! *Joins Axis*

Yeah yeah, that's not entirely true, but that's how it always feel when I play the game (only play Axis).