Important open now no delay!

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by UnderseaLcpl

Keep it up and I'll explain how female Marines store tampons

Tucked jauntily behind one ear?

[UnderseaLcpl]

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

Tucked jauntily behind one ear?

You got the "tucked" and behind" parts right.

Note to self: if you ever meet Sailor Steve in person, do not - repeat, DO NOT - shake hands.

Too late

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by UnderseaLcpl

Too late

As I recall we didn't shake hands.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

As I recall we didn't shake hands.

You're too old to recall anything

[CaptainHaplo]

What is this "toilet paper" you speak of?

[razark]

Originally Posted by CaptainHaplo

What is this "toilet paper" you speak of?

See memo:

Originally Posted by J. W. Coe

SS184/LS/SS36-1 June 11, 1942

From: Commanding Officer
To: Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, California

Subject: Toilet Paper

Ref: (a) (4608) USS Holland (5148) USS SKIPJACK req 70-42 of 30 July 1941
(b) SO NYMI cancelled invoice No. 272836

Encl: (1) Sample of cancelled invoice
(2) Sample of material required.

1. This vessel submitted a requisition for 150 rolls of toilet paper on July 30, 1941, to USS HOLLAND. The material was ordered by HOLLAND from the Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, for delivery to USS SKIPJACK.

2. The Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island, on November 26, 1941, canceled Mare Island Invoice No. 272836 with the stamped notation "Cancelled — cannot identify." This cancelled invoice was received by SKIPJACK on June 10, 1942.

3. During the 11-3/4 months elapsing from the time of ordering the toilet paper and the present date, USS SKIPJACK personnel, despite their best efforts to await delivery of the subject material, have been unable to wait on numerous occasions, and the situation is now quite acute, particularly during depth-charge attacks by the "back stabbers."

4. Enclosure (2) is a sample of the desired materials provided for the information of the Supply Officer, Navy Yard, Mare Island. The Commanding Officer, USS SKIPJACK, cannot help but wonder what is being used at Mare Island in place of this unidentifiable material, once well known to this command.

5. SKIPJACK personnel during this period have become accustomed to the use of "crests," i.e., the vast amount of incoming non-essential paper work, and in so doing feel that the wish of the Bureau of Ships for reduction of paper work is being complied with, thus killing two birds with one stone.

6. It is believed by this command that the stamped notation "cannot identify" was possible error, and that this is simply a case of shortage of strategic war material, the SKIPJACK probably being low on the priority list.

7. In order to cooperate in the war effort at a small local sacrifice, the SKIPJACK desires no further action be taken until the end of the current war, which has created a situation aptly described as "War is hell."

J. W. Coe

[antikristuseke]

I have no idea why, but this exchange reminded me of a rather bad joke which I am now going to inflict upon you.

Unlikely line to hear in a war film
Soldier 1:"I can't feel my legs!"
Soldier 2:"That's because your arms have been blown off"

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by UnderseaLcpl

You got the "tucked" and behind" parts right.

[Platapus]

Toilet Paper? What sissies. 40 grit sandpaper. It gives you that real clean feeling.

[frau kaleun]

Originally Posted by Platapus

Toilet Paper? What sissies. 40 grit sandpaper. It gives you that real clean feeling.

And followed by a nice alchohol spritzer. Very refreshing!

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by Platapus

Toilet Paper? What sissies. 40 grit sandpaper. It gives you that real clean feeling.

[papa_smurf]

Simple answer to the no toilet paper problem, just leave a copy of your favourite tabloid within easy reach. When there is toilet paper you can read and laugh at it, and when there isn't, it's a win-win scenario!

Sound advice there

@ frau

How long have you been waiting to use that one?

Long enough.....