Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

Fish · 12-18-08, 05:33 PM

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:
If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

http://www.pinetree.net/humor/thermodynamics.html

UnderseaLcpl · 12-18-08, 05:44 PM

:rotfl:
Always a funny story, if a bit old.

Hylander_1314 · 12-18-08, 05:46 PM

It doesn't rally matter. It's just really really warm there. You may want to pack the shades, some SPF 45 sunblock, and the Bermuda shorts.

A Very Super Market · 12-18-08, 06:33 PM

What if the Bermuda shorts got you into Hell in the first place?

Nicolas · 12-18-08, 06:54 PM

Ive barely read the post, but if love, hate, or soul related feelings, are quimics in your head, i prefer be dead right now. Come on!! you know you have a soul!! you know!! :p

Task Force · 12-18-08, 06:57 PM

I sure hope I never get a question on a biology quiz. My brain would probably play Windows.

(TFs brain crashes to a blue screen."Would someone hit the restart button".)

Task Force · 12-18-08, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Very Super Market

What if the Bermuda shorts got you into Hell in the first place?

That means you were cheating on your wife.

Skybird · 12-18-08, 07:09 PM

Spock must love this!

Hylander_1314 · 12-19-08, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Very Super Market

What if the Bermuda shorts got you into Hell in the first place?

Then all you gotta worry about is the SPF 45 sunblock, and the shades.

Task Force · 12-19-08, 09:51 PM

I wonder what happens when the sunblock runs out.:hmm: (Would be a good Idea to get the extra large economy size)

12-18-08, 05:33 PM	#1
Fish Eternal Patrol Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Netherlands Posts: 1,923 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist: If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic." The student, Tim Graham, got the only A. http://www.pinetree.net/humor/thermodynamics.html

12-18-08, 05:44 PM	#2
UnderseaLcpl Silent Hunter Join Date: May 2008 Location: Storming the beaches! Posts: 4,254 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: Always a funny story, if a bit old. __________________ I stole this sig from Task Force

12-18-08, 05:46 PM	#3
Hylander_1314 Sea Lord Join Date: May 2006 Location: 5 Miles Inland West Of Lake Huron Posts: 1,936 Downloads: 139 Uploads: 0	It doesn't rally matter. It's just really really warm there. You may want to pack the shades, some SPF 45 sunblock, and the Bermuda shorts. __________________ A legislative act contrary to the Constitution is not law. -John Marshall Chief Justice of the Supreme Court ---------------------

12-18-08, 06:33 PM	#4
A Very Super Market The Old Man Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Deep in the Wild Canadian suburbs. Posts: 1,468 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	What if the Bermuda shorts got you into Hell in the first place? __________________ The entire German garrison of Vanviken, right here in your thread!

12-18-08, 06:57 PM	#6
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	I sure hope I never get a question on a biology quiz. My brain would probably play Windows. (TFs brain crashes to a blue screen."Would someone hit the restart button".) __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time" Last edited by Task Force; 12-18-08 at 09:21 PM.

12-18-08, 06:54 PM	#5
Nicolas Commander Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Uruguay Posts: 453 Downloads: 196 Uploads: 4	Ive barely read the post, but if love, hate, or soul related feelings, are quimics in your head, i prefer be dead right now. Come on!! you know you have a soul!! you know!! :p

12-18-08, 07:09 PM	#8
Skybird Soaring Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the mental asylum named Germany Posts: 42,637 Downloads: 10 Uploads: 0	Spock must love this! __________________ If you feel nuts, consult an expert.

12-19-08, 09:51 PM	#10
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	I wonder what happens when the sunblock runs out.:hmm: (Would be a good Idea to get the extra large economy size) __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

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