I personally never blame the soldiers for the war (it's a stupid thing, really), but I can't quite feel sorry for them here, either. As sad as it is, all of them are volunteers and all of them should have known what they were getting into. I'd save the sympathies for the tens of thousands of civilians that died in the war. Likewise, I'd save the loathing for the leadership that determines the course of action.
That said, I think the least the soldiers deserve is respect for doing their duty. And besides a few exceptions, I know most of them do it honorably.
As for those protesters - honestly, if I was passing by and saw something like that at a funeral, I'd probably tempted to throw in a few punches. Is that unreasonable?