U-555 (Story)

[JokerOfFate]

While we were debating what sea creatures we are going fire two escorts spotted us and opened fire.
"Crash dive" I yelled
"We're already under water,sir" Said my Cheif
"Oh, then why are they shooting at us?" I asked
"You left the Periscope up,sir"
"Damage Report!" I snapped
"Here,sir" said one of my crew handing me a sheet of paper
It reads:
(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) 1st torpedeo tube almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced 1st torpedeo tube

(P) Fuel tank seeping fluid
(S) Fuel tank seepage normal

(P) Something loose in compresser
(S) Something tightened in compresser

(P) Evidence of leak in toilet
(S) Evidence removed

(P) Hydrophone volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Radar inoperative
(S) Radar always inoperative in OFF mode

(P) Electric engine 3 missing
(S) Never actually was installed

(P) Boat handles funny
(S) Boat warned to straighten up and be serious!

(P) Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Radar with the lyrics

End of part 2

Any tips or help always welcome