Three wishes

SUBMAN1 · 09-18-08, 09:42 PM

I should have posted this in another thread that is here, but then it might be lost to the world!

:p

-S

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside a Maryland immigration office. 'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and three children.' The man told the fairy. 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING ! -- he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth! 'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more to go.' The refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.. ' PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay. 'One more wish', said the fairy, waving her wand. 'Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these tore cloths, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin like Americans. ' PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon. 'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?' THIS IS GOOD ....... The fairy said 'Tough sh*t, Mac, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself.' And she disappeared!

Task Force · 09-19-08, 10:50 PM

Ha Ha sucker didnt think his wishes over.:rotfl:

Peto · 09-20-08, 09:37 AM

09-20-08, 10:51 AM

Jimbuna · 09-20-08, 12:38 PM

I like it

UnderseaLcpl · 09-20-08, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SUBMAN1

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside a Maryland immigration office. 'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and three children.' The man told the fairy. 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING !

Oh, very nice joke SUB!

I don't even get to the puchline before I have to crash-dive to 200m.

Task Force · 09-20-08, 07:03 PM

Great posts guys.:rotfl:

Jimbuna · 09-21-08, 07:41 AM

THE MERMAID AND THREE WISHES

Three guys are out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish.
Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says, "Okay, if you can really grant wishes, then double my IQ."
The mermaid says, "Done." Suddenly the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight.
The second guy is so amazed, he says to the mermaid, "Triple my IQ."
The mermaid says, "Done." The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists in various fields: physics, chemistry, etc.
The last guy is so enthralled with the changes that his friends that he says to the mermaid, "Quintuple my IQ."
The mermaid looks at him and says, "You know, I don't usually try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but really wish that you would reconsider."
The guy says, "No, I want you to increase my IQ times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."
"Please," says the mermaid, "You don't understand what you're asking, it will change your entire view on the universe. Won't you ask for something else....a million dollars, anything?"
But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his IQ increased by five times its usual power. So the mermaid sighed and said, "Done."
And he became a woman!

SUBMAN1 · 09-21-08, 11:42 AM

Whats with the white text? I can't read it!

This is what it looks like:

Jimbuna · 09-21-08, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SUBMAN1

Whats with the white text? I can't read it!

This is what it looks like:

I'm using the forum default skin (white text pn a slate gray background).

Is this any better?

THE MERMAID AND THREE WISHES

Three guys are out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish.
Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says, "Okay, if you can really grant wishes, then double my IQ."
The mermaid says, "Done." Suddenly the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight.
The second guy is so amazed, he says to the mermaid, "Triple my IQ."
The mermaid says, "Done." The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists in various fields: physics, chemistry, etc.
The last guy is so enthralled with the changes that his friends that he says to the mermaid, "Quintuple my IQ."
The mermaid looks at him and says, "You know, I don't usually try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but really wish that you would reconsider."
The guy says, "No, I want you to increase my IQ times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."
"Please," says the mermaid, "You don't understand what you're asking, it will change your entire view on the universe. Won't you ask for something else....a million dollars, anything?"
But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his IQ increased by five times its usual power. So the mermaid sighed and said, "Done."
And he became a woman

VipertheSniper · 09-21-08, 04:56 PM

The problem is, if you format the text with the color tags, it'll be displayed for everyone regardless of forum layout in just that color, which is in your case white... leave out the color tags and the forum layout takes care of the colouring and everybody can see it regardless of forum layout or theme rather.

Jimbuna · 09-22-08, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VipertheSniper

The problem is, if you format the text with the color tags, it'll be displayed for everyone regardless of forum layout in just that color, which is in your case white... leave out the color tags and the forum layout takes care of the colouring and everybody can see it regardless of forum layout or theme rather.

Rgr that...much appreciated info matey

VipertheSniper · 09-22-08, 03:58 PM

I thought that was common knowledge.

antikristuseke · 09-22-08, 04:00 PM

Common knowledge, much like common sense, are far from common.

Jimbuna · 09-22-08, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VipertheSniper

I thought that was common knowledge.

Been a bit busy in recent times on other projects.

We all have different levels of priorities.

Tis difficult to be clued up on everything.

Nine of us are as clever as all of us.

09-18-08, 09:42 PM	#1
SUBMAN1 Rear Admiral Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 11,866 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Three wishes I should have posted this in another thread that is here, but then it might be lost to the world! :p -S A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside a Maryland immigration office. 'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and three children.' The man told the fairy. 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING ! -- he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth! 'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more to go.' The refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.. ' PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay. 'One more wish', said the fairy, waving her wand. 'Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these tore cloths, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin like Americans. ' PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon. 'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?' THIS IS GOOD ....... The fairy said 'Tough sh*t, Mac, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself.' And she disappeared! __________________

09-19-08, 10:50 PM	#2
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Ha Ha sucker didnt think his wishes over.:rotfl: __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

09-20-08, 09:37 AM	#3
Peto Ace of the Deep Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: The details of my life are quite inconsequential Posts: 1,049 Downloads: 4 Uploads: 0	__________________ If your target has a 30 degree AOB, the range from his base course line equals the current range divided by 2.

09-20-08, 12:38 PM	#5
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I like it __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

09-20-08, 07:03 PM	#7
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Great posts guys.:rotfl: __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

09-20-08, 10:51 AM	#4
OneToughHerring Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:

09-21-08, 07:41 AM	#8
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	THE MERMAID AND THREE WISHES Three guys are out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish. Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says, "Okay, if you can really grant wishes, then double my IQ." The mermaid says, "Done." Suddenly the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight. The second guy is so amazed, he says to the mermaid, "Triple my IQ." The mermaid says, "Done." The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists in various fields: physics, chemistry, etc. The last guy is so enthralled with the changes that his friends that he says to the mermaid, "Quintuple my IQ." The mermaid looks at him and says, "You know, I don't usually try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but really wish that you would reconsider." The guy says, "No, I want you to increase my IQ times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free." "Please," says the mermaid, "You don't understand what you're asking, it will change your entire view on the universe. Won't you ask for something else....a million dollars, anything?" But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his IQ increased by five times its usual power. So the mermaid sighed and said, "Done." And he became a woman! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

09-21-08, 11:42 AM	#9
SUBMAN1 Rear Admiral Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 11,866 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Whats with the white text? I can't read it! This is what it looks like: __________________

09-21-08, 04:56 PM	#11
VipertheSniper Ace of the Deep Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Austria Posts: 1,070 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	The problem is, if you format the text with the color tags, it'll be displayed for everyone regardless of forum layout in just that color, which is in your case white... leave out the color tags and the forum layout takes care of the colouring and everybody can see it regardless of forum layout or theme rather.

09-22-08, 03:58 PM	#13
VipertheSniper Ace of the Deep Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Austria Posts: 1,070 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	I thought that was common knowledge.

09-22-08, 04:00 PM	#14
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	Common knowledge, much like common sense, are far from common.