13--13--13--13.........

[SUBMAN1]

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients
were
shouting,'13....13....13'...

The fence was too high to see over,

but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was
going
on.

Some nut case poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...

[Jimbuna]

LMAO :rotfl:

A visitor to a mental institution asked the director who decided which patients should be kept in. The director said "we fill up a bath, then offer the patient a teaspoon, teacup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub".
The visitor said, "Oh I see a normal person would chose the bucket because it's the biggest".
The director said no, a normal person would pull the fecking plug out. Would you like a bed near the window"?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Queen walks into a mental hospital. On one ward, our monarch comes across a man reaching up and putting something invisible into a basket.
'What are you doing?' Liz asks.
'I'm taking the stars from the sky!' the crazy git replies. Slightly perplexed, she moves onto the next patient who is reaching into the basket and then reaching up.
'And what are you doing?' she asks.
'I'm putting the stars back in the sky' he replies. Growing tired, she moves onto the next loony who is lying down and making car noises.
'And what the feck are you doing?' the Queen asks, growing weary.
'Trying to get away from those two nutters!' he says. 'They're fecking mental!'

[SUBMAN1]

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[STEED]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

And on that good note I bid you farewell I'm having a break. See you all next weekend.

[Jimbuna]

Cya Dafta mate

[mcf1]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Safe-Keeper]

The OP one would be more funny if it was a daycare center or preschool where the kids were learning how to count:rotfl:.

As for the second one, it's hilarious. Except when I first heard it, it was a visiting journalist, not just "a visitor".

I always liked this true urban legend. A team of FBI agents had raided a psychiatric hospital suspected of health care fraud. At the endf of the day, after much poring over financial records, they were growing hungry and decided to call for food. The conversation went something like:

Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza man: And where would this be delivered?
Agent: To the Southwood Psychiatric Hospital.
Pizza man: To the psychiatric hospital.
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everyone here is.
Pizza man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital.Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors, we have them locked. You'll have to go around the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza man: And you say you're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza man: And you're over at Southwood?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza man: And everyone at Southwood is an FBI agent?

And so on until the pizza man tired of the conversation and hung up. Sometimes when the story is told the FBI agents end up having to drive down to the pizza delivery place to get the pizzas, which may or may not be true.