Boy.... I screwed up!

areo16 · 03-25-16, 12:58 AM

So, we are buying a house. Well have been looking. And we don't have a buyers agent, because I don't need one. I've taken real estate and appraising classes, and got my appraisal trainee license, but have taken on another career path since. I also have all the 2015 forms for the transaction, including contingencies and everything else.

Anyhow, agents will like to tell you that a buyer's agent commission is free to the buyer because the seller pays for it. The second part is true but the first part is not. The seller pays for it, but where do you think the seller gets that money? From the buyer. Plus, most houses are already priced with the idea that the BAC (buyer's agent commission) is already including. So, considering that the BAC can be anywhere from 2 to 4 percent of the sales prices, I can offer around somewhere between 7000-10,000 less on a house than the listing price and the seller will still make the same amount of money on the transaction, because I'm saving the seller that much without having a buyers agent and representing myself. Also, keep note, the listing agent isn't getting my commission either, there is no dual agency agreement in my offers. (Yes, I"ve made a few offers so far on one property, but we found leaking). I know the process quite well.

So, this is where I f###ked up!. The house I made offers on we found had leaking via an inspection after an offer was accepted. I then contacted my mother, to ask my contractor father if the leak may be too bad, and I should pass on this house. Boy, was this a bad idea!!!!!! My mother told everyone in the family we were looking for a house. And my aunt and my uncle, who both have licenses as RE agents, are now calling me to represent me and to get my money. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We haven't told anyone in our family that we were house shopping for this particular reason, but in this case I really needed an opinion on the leaky roof and I couldn't get free estimates from any roofers.
Over the last couple of months, I've come to understand how pushy agents can be. First I was polite, but now I just shoot them down immediately, and awkwardly. Rudely almost, but hey its my money we're talking about! Because they will throw you line after line about how its free and how we need them to represent us. But the truth is, sellers would rather do business with someone who doesn't have an agent because then they think they can keep some of the 2 to 4 percent for themselves (but I just subtract that percentage from the offer price to keep that money in my pocket).

Now, I have to shoot down my relatives too, and boy will it be awkward at Christmas after that. But I'm not going to pay 9000 to anyone if I can do it myself. That's that!

How the hell should I handle this?

Reece · 03-25-16, 01:38 AM

With tact!!

Maybe you should draft an email explaining the situation (nicely) and send to each of them, they would surely understand, since your Mum dropped the bombshell maybe she could word it for you, or better still let her call them.

Catfish · 03-25-16, 04:32 AM

"Middlemen" may be useful sometimes, but mostly not.

But as advised, you or your Mom should really write an explanation, after all aunt and uncle belong to the family...

Schroeder · 03-25-16, 07:31 AM

Just tell them nicely that you thank them for the offered assistance but don't need it as you are qualified yourself and you don't want to be a burden to them and hassle them with your problems.

Jimbuna · 03-25-16, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schroeder

Just tell them nicely that you thank them for the offered assistance but don't need it as you are qualified yourself and you don't want to be a burden to them and hassle them with your problems.

Rgr that

AVGWarhawk · 03-25-16, 10:11 AM

A few things of note:

1. Loaning money to a family member is not a loan. You will never see it again. Write it off.

2. Never do business with family members. Generally they are not family any longer after the business is completed.

Advise the family members that you are handling it yourself and if a 3rd party was to get involved it would not be a family member. It avoids hurt feelings if problems arise. And they do. Or the deal goes bust.

areo16 · 03-25-16, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

A few things of note:

1. Loaning money to a family member is not a loan. You will never see it again. Write it off.

2. Never do business with family members. Generally they are not family any longer after the business is completed.

Advise the family members that you are handling it yourself and if a 3rd party was to get involved it would not be a family member. It avoids hurt feelings if problems arise. And they do. Or the deal goes bust.

Great post. Keep them separately. Even if I required assistance of an agent I wouldn't use a family member for the same reasons as you say
. Because I would be negotiating the BAC with them to as low as possible.and feelings could get hurt.

03-25-16, 12:58 AM	#1
areo16 Sonar Guy Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 382 Downloads: 64 Uploads: 0	Boy.... I screwed up! So, we are buying a house. Well have been looking. And we don't have a buyers agent, because I don't need one. I've taken real estate and appraising classes, and got my appraisal trainee license, but have taken on another career path since. I also have all the 2015 forms for the transaction, including contingencies and everything else. Anyhow, agents will like to tell you that a buyer's agent commission is free to the buyer because the seller pays for it. The second part is true but the first part is not. The seller pays for it, but where do you think the seller gets that money? From the buyer. Plus, most houses are already priced with the idea that the BAC (buyer's agent commission) is already including. So, considering that the BAC can be anywhere from 2 to 4 percent of the sales prices, I can offer around somewhere between 7000-10,000 less on a house than the listing price and the seller will still make the same amount of money on the transaction, because I'm saving the seller that much without having a buyers agent and representing myself. Also, keep note, the listing agent isn't getting my commission either, there is no dual agency agreement in my offers. (Yes, I"ve made a few offers so far on one property, but we found leaking). I know the process quite well. So, this is where I f###ked up!. The house I made offers on we found had leaking via an inspection after an offer was accepted. I then contacted my mother, to ask my contractor father if the leak may be too bad, and I should pass on this house. Boy, was this a bad idea!!!!!! My mother told everyone in the family we were looking for a house. And my aunt and my uncle, who both have licenses as RE agents, are now calling me to represent me and to get my money. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We haven't told anyone in our family that we were house shopping for this particular reason, but in this case I really needed an opinion on the leaky roof and I couldn't get free estimates from any roofers. Over the last couple of months, I've come to understand how pushy agents can be. First I was polite, but now I just shoot them down immediately, and awkwardly. Rudely almost, but hey its my money we're talking about! Because they will throw you line after line about how its free and how we need them to represent us. But the truth is, sellers would rather do business with someone who doesn't have an agent because then they think they can keep some of the 2 to 4 percent for themselves (but I just subtract that percentage from the offer price to keep that money in my pocket). Now, I have to shoot down my relatives too, and boy will it be awkward at Christmas after that. But I'm not going to pay 9000 to anyone if I can do it myself. That's that! How the hell should I handle this?

03-25-16, 01:38 AM	#2
Reece CINC Pacific Fleet Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Down Under Posts: 34,701 Downloads: 171 Uploads: 0	With tact!! Maybe you should draft an email explaining the situation (nicely) and send to each of them, they would surely understand, since your Mum dropped the bombshell maybe she could word it for you, or better still let her call them. __________________ *Sub captains go down with their ship!*

03-25-16, 04:32 AM	#3
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 17,766 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	"Middlemen" may be useful sometimes, but mostly not. But as advised, you or your Mom should really write an explanation, after all aunt and uncle belong to the family... __________________ >^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.

03-25-16, 07:31 AM	#4
Schroeder Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Banana Republic of Germany Posts: 6,170 Downloads: 62 Uploads: 0	Just tell them nicely that you thank them for the offered assistance but don't need it as you are qualified yourself and you don't want to be a burden to them and hassle them with your problems. __________________ Putting Germ back into Germany.

03-25-16, 10:11 AM	#6
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,255 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	A few things of note: 1. Loaning money to a family member is not a loan. You will never see it again. Write it off. 2. Never do business with family members. Generally they are not family any longer after the business is completed. Advise the family members that you are handling it yourself and if a 3rd party was to get involved it would not be a family member. It avoids hurt feelings if problems arise. And they do. Or the deal goes bust. __________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road