Need a witty poet for a Subsim jingle

Onkel Neal · 12-24-05, 04:49 PM

ok, I know some of you rascals are pretty clever with words. How about a Subsim poem, based on the Night Before Christmas.... ? I will use the best one in the next Subsim Newsletter with credit. thanks

Neal

Torplexed · 12-24-05, 07:29 PM

Words aren't my strong suit but I gave it a try. Maybe some genius could refine it.

T'was the night before Christmas and all though the hull,
Naught could be heard but the mewing of a gull;
The crewmembers were stung with a sullen despair,
No hope of making Christmas depravities in St. Nazaire;
They slung defeated in their hammocks all filled with dread,
Visions of another holiday meal of moldy green bread;
The kaluen still wearing his greasy battered cap,
Was up in the conning tower to avoid taking the rap;
Six weeks at sea without a convoy to shatter,
Now this bad news to boot tasted like fecal matter;
Away to the north there was suddenly a flash,
Could it be a Leigh-Light equipped plane seeking a U-Boat to trash?
The kaluen prepared to duck quickly below,
He'd take her deep and let her lie low;
But then what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer;
The kaluen quickly thought this must be a trick,
An aerial contrapation designed to reduce him to an oil slick;
Getting behind the flak gun he carefully took aim,
It was time to end this sorry voyage of shame;
Now Smash her! Now Lance her! Now make her a Goner!
In a hail of gunfire he'd restore the boats honor;
It was moving so slow it looked ready to stall,
Now lash away! lash away! lash away all!
And the sky was lit up with a harsh pounding light,
The foe would meet his fate in the cold Atlantic night;
Recovering from the glare the kaluen looked for proof,
That the target had been downed without any dispute;
Acrid gunsmoke encircled his head like wreath,
The target was gone....what a relief!
He set out the searchlight to probe for debris,
Yet all he found on the dark bobbing sea;
Were burnt packages, canvas bags, a charred red suit,
Apparently St. Nick and his reindeer had been no match for Das Boot;
Smugly the kaluen resumed course for St. Nazaire,
Secure in the knowledge that Santa would be there;
Judging by the sodden green hair he'd seen it was a lead-pipe cinch,
It wasn't Santa he'd shot down but that American imposter the Grinch!

Onkel Neal · 12-24-05, 11:04 PM

Man, that's good!

Marhkimov · 12-25-05, 03:52 AM

Hehe, now THAT was witty!

Those darned Americans...

Oberon · 12-25-05, 04:12 AM

http://www.subsim.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=46489

Here's one I saw posted in the SHIII section a short time ago

Nice one there Torplexed!

Torplexed · 12-25-05, 02:13 PM

Thanks guys. :P Now join me in a chorus of Run Silent Night.

Oberon · 12-25-05, 04:20 PM

Run Silent Night, holy schiesse
The sea is calm, the searchlights bright
Round yon Kaleu, father and child
Uboat kapitan so calm and mild
Sneek in heavenly deeps
Sneek in heavenly deeps

Run silent night, merchants fright
Convoy captains quake at the sight
Torpedoes stream from tubes afar
Donitzs hosts cry Alleluia!
Thus, the Uboat wing is born
Thus, the Uboat wing is born

Run silent night, Coastal Command flight
Son of Slessor, complete with Leigh light
Radiant beams from thy under place
With the dawn, more aircraft we face
Donitz, Onkel, who we serve
Donitz, Onkel, who we serve

Well....that didn't go so well

Guess I should keep to commanding subs, rather than words

Torplexed · 12-25-05, 05:18 PM

I like it! I think you may have set Onkel Neal up for next year.

12-24-05, 04:49 PM	#1
Onkel Neal Born to Run Silent Join Date: Jan 1997 Location: Cougar Trap, Texas Posts: 21,383 Downloads: 541 Uploads: 224	Need a witty poet for a Subsim jingle ok, I know some of you rascals are pretty clever with words. How about a Subsim poem, based on the Night Before Christmas.... ? I will use the best one in the next Subsim Newsletter with credit. thanks Neal

12-25-05, 03:52 AM	#4
Marhkimov Admiral Join Date: May 2005 Location: Bay Area, California, USA Posts: 2,377 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Hehe, now THAT was witty! Those darned Americans... __________________ It takes two to tango

12-24-05, 07:29 PM	#2
Torplexed Let's Sink Sumptin' ! Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 5,823 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	Words aren't my strong suit but I gave it a try. Maybe some genius could refine it. T'was the night before Christmas and all though the hull, Naught could be heard but the mewing of a gull; The crewmembers were stung with a sullen despair, No hope of making Christmas depravities in St. Nazaire; They slung defeated in their hammocks all filled with dread, Visions of another holiday meal of moldy green bread; The kaluen still wearing his greasy battered cap, Was up in the conning tower to avoid taking the rap; Six weeks at sea without a convoy to shatter, Now this bad news to boot tasted like fecal matter; Away to the north there was suddenly a flash, Could it be a Leigh-Light equipped plane seeking a U-Boat to trash? The kaluen prepared to duck quickly below, He'd take her deep and let her lie low; But then what to his wondering eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer; The kaluen quickly thought this must be a trick, An aerial contrapation designed to reduce him to an oil slick; Getting behind the flak gun he carefully took aim, It was time to end this sorry voyage of shame; Now Smash her! Now Lance her! Now make her a Goner! In a hail of gunfire he'd restore the boats honor; It was moving so slow it looked ready to stall, Now lash away! lash away! lash away all! And the sky was lit up with a harsh pounding light, The foe would meet his fate in the cold Atlantic night; Recovering from the glare the kaluen looked for proof, That the target had been downed without any dispute; Acrid gunsmoke encircled his head like wreath, The target was gone....what a relief! He set out the searchlight to probe for debris, Yet all he found on the dark bobbing sea; Were burnt packages, canvas bags, a charred red suit, Apparently St. Nick and his reindeer had been no match for Das Boot; Smugly the kaluen resumed course for St. Nazaire, Secure in the knowledge that Santa would be there; Judging by the sodden green hair he'd seen it was a lead-pipe cinch, It wasn't Santa he'd shot down but that American imposter the Grinch!

12-24-05, 11:04 PM	#3
Onkel Neal Born to Run Silent Join Date: Jan 1997 Location: Cougar Trap, Texas Posts: 21,383 Downloads: 541 Uploads: 224	Man, that's good!

12-25-05, 04:12 AM	#5
Oberon Lucky Jack Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,976 Downloads: 61 Uploads: 20	http://www.subsim.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=46489 Here's one I saw posted in the SHIII section a short time ago Nice one there Torplexed!

12-25-05, 02:13 PM	#6
Torplexed Let's Sink Sumptin' ! Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 5,823 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	Thanks guys. :P Now join me in a chorus of Run Silent Night.

12-25-05, 04:20 PM	#7
Oberon Lucky Jack Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,976 Downloads: 61 Uploads: 20	Run Silent Night, holy schiesse The sea is calm, the searchlights bright Round yon Kaleu, father and child Uboat kapitan so calm and mild Sneek in heavenly deeps Sneek in heavenly deeps Run silent night, merchants fright Convoy captains quake at the sight Torpedoes stream from tubes afar Donitzs hosts cry Alleluia! Thus, the Uboat wing is born Thus, the Uboat wing is born Run silent night, Coastal Command flight Son of Slessor, complete with Leigh light Radiant beams from thy under place With the dawn, more aircraft we face Donitz, Onkel, who we serve Donitz, Onkel, who we serve Well....that didn't go so well Guess I should keep to commanding subs, rather than words

12-25-05, 05:18 PM	#8
Torplexed Let's Sink Sumptin' ! Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 5,823 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	I like it! I think you may have set Onkel Neal up for next year.